Dating Thread 217: Is it burning bright or fizzling out?

[Heartbeats0708]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@StartingAgain6369 sounds lovely!!

@BelladiMamma and @StartingAgain6369 - great stuff. This is what it should be like for all of us all of the time. Incompatible dates should promptly and politely suggest we were not suited. Might start an online petition, no twats, flakes or weirdos on OLD if you please.

Had a flake weekend. After not calling Friday, messaged Dualfudge yesterday to see if could get some sort of insight. She said she'd call but then said actually not to worry as I was occupied (I mentioned I was busy but could step away for 10 mins for a chat). No further contact today. Looking back on the whole thing its not starting to look quite breadcrumby so meh. I deleted her messages and number at least.

@Isitreallyme177

@pinkpixie83 yes i think absolutely ok to ask, you want to be on the same page with this, 'relationship stuff' aside if you know you wouldn't be happy if he was sleeping with others you should make it clear.
@StartingAgain6369 really really nice date. For some reason i thought your post was going to say she text to say 'thanks but no thanks' ... but couldn't be more opposite. Hopefully you'll have a next date soon
@SpringlikeBunk how come you don't want to get sexty, sorry i mean texty with MrHedgehog? He seems keen and you like him too, what worries you so much about getting more chatty over text? Have you got a next date set yet when you both back from business trips. I really like your idea of the London trip! Hoping this does all come together! Really want to put faces to 'usernames' 🤩

@StartingAgain6369 way to go, knocked it out the park, 🍻

@RayoftheTriffids delete, move on …

Starting what a glorious date 😊😊😊

Hello, newbie on this thread - can I join? Need some wisdom…
Date with Mr. Dr went brilliantly. Looking for a time for date 2. The problem is my kids are with me almost all the time, they’re used to knowing where I am (before this, usually at home). I am absolutely not ready to let them know that I’m dating. I don’t like lying to them but it’s the lesser of two evils at the moment. Any tips or top quality excuses?

Some lovely heartening date stories here.
After being mightily fed up after flakey flake from the only iron I was really into, have ended the day with a focused couple of hours on bumble resulting in 5 nice irons, 2 look really promising. Am approaching like a work project, so romantic. Might need to start a spreadsheet though. God, you’ve got to be resilient for this stuff though don’t you? Am learning fast and reciting the rules, this thread is so so helpful. Hope all well and making the connections they want.

@BatShit2021 sounds like a really promising date 😀 excuses to kids- really depends on age but I think saying you are meeting some new friends as you want to widen your circle - or whatever the age appropriate version is - is fine. And some gentle erm lying to kids here is fine and needed. You are entitled to be happy and meet someone, kids entitled to not know the score until way down the line. Best for all of you.

Thanks @Moopyhereagain it really was great, I feel like a teenager again . I’m not convinced my kids are gonna buy that (one is a teenager) but will keep it up my sleeve!

[quote Moopyhereagain]@BatShit2021 sounds like a really promising date 😀 excuses to kids- really depends on age but I think saying you are meeting some new friends as you want to widen your circle - or whatever the age appropriate version is - is fine. And some gentle erm lying to kids here is fine and needed. You are entitled to be happy and meet someone, kids entitled to not know the score until way down the line. Best for all of you.[/quote]
Yes it definitely depends on the age of the kids. Personally, I have rather a lot of physio appointments and yoga/pilates sessions... but depends on how long you're out, their bedtimes, and how many questions they ask. I think Moopy's suggestion is great too, especially if they're a bit older. And I agree that you're entirely entitled to your privacy, and it's probably best for the kids not to be faced with too much info until you deem that it's the right time.

@BatShit2021 😂 no guess a teen would see straight through that. Probably needs a specific lie that you are meeting a named friend instead.. It’s for the greater good!

Oh, a bit trickier if they're teens, yes! But still fine to tell a white lie, absolutely.

Thanks @PurpleStripyScarf - regular appointments might be a good one if I can think of something that would keep me out of the house for hours at a time Tricky but hopefully worth it.

Moopy I told my teens I was meeting a friend when I was seeing someone last year. Tbh, they weren't bothered whether I was there or not, though, as long as I fed them. Boys.

@Naimee87

Lol yeh I’m just trying to pace things really?

Will be a fortnight before an in-person meet is possible so don’t want to get carried away with text tennis and “get ahead” in chat then it not to be the same in person.

Only aim now is 4th meet really! And we can’t set that till we both know when we’re back.

Any chance we can firm up a weekend for our thread meet before 1 Dec? I'm pretty free in January but I think there was a request for February. That's half term, where I'm doing stuff with DC both weekends + I'm trying to sort out a week's leave from work and hopefully a house sit somewhere as I'm otherwise stuck in a house with my ex. And February's a short month... I'm going to throw out a suggestion of the first week in Feb? I'd be gutted to miss it...

@WeWantTheFinestWines

That’s ok for me (would just need to book dates in but can sort everything else out last minute). Plus all the lovebirds might want the next week off

FIRST WEEK IN FEBRUARY FOR LONDON MEET?

AYE OR NAY OR MAYBE

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@WeWantTheFinestWines

That’s ok for me (would just need to book dates in but can sort everything else out last minute). Plus all the lovebirds might want the next week off [/quote]
😂😂

Thank you Spring.

It's an AYE from me 😊

@SpringlikeBunk

FIRST WEEK IN FEBRUARY FOR LONDON MEET?

AYE OR NAY OR MAYBE

Aye. I'm trying to book a family thing early Feb so if we can decide which date that would help me!

Weekend is 5th and 6th Feb. I don’t have any strong opinions on what days are better I’ll probably be down three nights.

(To be boring, to any long distance threadies, thinking about transport booking etc just to mention all the covid stuff and to please think about costs/insurance etc if there’s another f***g lockdown)

I was potentially looking to be in London 5th but obviously doing stuff so not able to meet, so I'll move that to the following week, and keep 5th for threadies.

@SpringlikeBunk

FIRST WEEK IN FEBRUARY FOR LONDON MEET?

AYE OR NAY OR MAYBE

I'm definitely a hopeful Maybe 🥳

Sounds good @PurpleStripyScarf - the vibe I’m getting is there’s a few threadies who will be making a definite trip of it

and also some who may just decide/drop in for a drink later on which is also lovely 😊