Team Ioan Gruffudd or Alice Evans?

[BabyBearRus]

I've been following the story around the breakup of Ioan and Alice. I haven't been a great fan of Alice in the past, but I do feel for her and her children right now. Who else thinks that Ioan has behaved atrociously to his family? According to his wife, he has been having an affair for a long while, and making her feel as though she was in the wrong for months.

@sunglassesonthetable

So all the 'go her' crew are doing is being complicit in her spiralling into an increasingly precarious position legally when it comes to custody and potential earnings.

seriously?

Yes! She is not presenting as a stable and responsible parent. She is also not presenting as an employable, reliable professional which is essential if you're an actor who has had a long career gap. It's damaging to her reputation more than his, I don't understand how people can't see that? If Ioan is a wanker but still on set on time and pleasant to work with (I don't know if that's the case, I'm just saying hypothetically) then his potential earnings aren't impacted by his soon to be ex wife saying he's a wanker. Whereas her behaviour is indicative of someone who is volatile and unprofessional. That's not me damning her as a person and I have no opinion on him (I don't think he's as famous as she / anyone especially invested in this thinks!) it's just my perception as an outsider. And a PR. I would be absolutely tearing my hair out if I was representing her (she clearly doesn't have anyone advising her or if she does, isn't listening to them) but I would be telling Ioan that his posting that picture was unnecessarily inflammatory considering Alice's previous and ongoing behaviour, but advise him to continue a no comment policy. She's damaging her own earning potential and legal / custody standing with these outbursts.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

She couldn't be doing herself less of a favour than how she's behaving at the moment.

So all the 'go her' crew are doing is being complicit in her spiralling into an increasingly precarious position legally when it comes to custody and potential earnings.

I agree -- and i am sympathetic to her.

But she's killing her own future earning potential. And he's not a big enough star to keep up their lifestyle for two households plus the kids' education. She needs to be more strategic.

@sunglassesonthetable

So all the 'go her' crew are doing is being complicit in her spiralling into an increasingly precarious position legally when it comes to custody and potential earnings.

seriously?

Totally agree with @youvegottenminuteslynn and her subsequent post explaining why.

She's not hurting him at all but she is hurting herself and her children right now and for the future.

@MyDogLovesBiscuits I don't think anyone is disputing that on here are they?

[quote Thesummeriwas16]@MyDogLovesBiscuits I don't think anyone is disputing that on here are they?[/quote]
@sunglassesonthetable said 'seriously?' in response to my post so I thought it best I explained why. Hopefully it made sense!

@DifferentHair

Honestly, if she's that unhinged, shame on Ioan for continuing to take jobs abroad instead of being physically with his children.

He can't be that concerned. If he really thought she was a mess surely he'd be in the same country as his small children ensuring they were ok.

This.

He could always seek out non-acting jobs in LA if the children's welfare were of great concern. Instead of living halfway around the world.

[quote Thesummeriwas16]@MyDogLovesBiscuits I don't think anyone is disputing that on here are they?[/quote]
It seemed as though sunglassesonthetable was asking did youvegottenminuteslynn really, "seriously" believe what they said in their previous post to me. That's how it read anyway.

said 'seriously?' in response to my post so I thought it best I explained why. Hopefully it made sense!

I was questioning being "complicit " in her downward spiral.

I keep repeating that I don't agree with AE's SM posting but that I have much sympathy for her situation.

I'm not really sure how that makes me 'complicit' or having empathy for AG' s situation makes it " go her" in what she is doing. But that's like talking to a brick wall on this thread.

I don't really disagree with what you say in your longer thread at all. I understand that she is probably damaging her reputation.

Sunglasses, you keep going on about having empathy. What does that mean exactly?

It means the same as when anyone uses it.

@MyDogLovesBiscuits Definitely how it read to me too, and @youvegottenminuteslynn explained why far more eloquently than I could have done.

Look, I do feel for Alice, I really do. But she's hit the nuclear button on this, and it's not in anyone's interest for her to be behaving like this, least of all her own. It's an open goal for IG should it come to a custody battle, which I think it may well do. If anyone really cared for her, they wouldn't be winding her up, geeing her on, and encouraging her to behave like this. Because I am fairly sure that when the next BIG SPLIT story hits the stands, her 'fans' will move on to that, and she will be even more isolated. It is positively ghoulish how some people are feeding her lines, knowing she will snap.

It is positively ghoulish how some people are feeding her lines, knowing she will snap.

Totally agree

@sunglassesonthetable

said 'seriously?' in response to my post so I thought it best I explained why. Hopefully it made sense!

I was questioning being "complicit " in her downward spiral.

I keep repeating that I don't agree with AE's SM posting but that I have much sympathy for her situation.

I'm not really sure how that makes me 'complicit' or having empathy for AG' s situation makes it " go her" in what she is doing. But that's like talking to a brick wall on this thread.

I don't really disagree with what you say in your longer thread at all. I understand that she is probably damaging her reputation.

I was referencing the Twitter fans who have repeatedly reinforced her behaviour on Twitter and Instagram by saying how she's doing the right thing, that he deserves it, that she's just being honest etc. It wasn't a direct attack on you...

I was referencing the Twitter fans who have repeatedly reinforced her behaviour on Twitter and Instagram by saying how she's doing the right thing, that he deserves it, that she's just being honest etc. It wasn't a direct attack on

My bad @youvegottenminuteslynn I misunderstood.

I agree about AG's SM fans. On the one hand she sees them as her 'friends' and is buoyed by their support but on the other hand they'll all disappear into vapour if the shit hits the fan. And she'll be alone. It's a real tale for our times.

@sunglassesonthetable

I was referencing the Twitter fans who have repeatedly reinforced her behaviour on Twitter and Instagram by saying how she's doing the right thing, that he deserves it, that she's just being honest etc. It wasn't a direct attack on

My bad @youvegottenminuteslynn I misunderstood.

I agree about AG's SM fans. On the one hand she sees them as her 'friends' and is buoyed by their support but on the other hand they'll all disappear into vapour if the shit hits the fan. And she'll be alone. It's a real tale for our times.

It really is. It's the equivalent of friends encouraging drunk texting an ex. This is all going to damage the possibility of her expecting full custody and indefinite maintenance as she will be viewed as an irresponsible parent in court and a liability / big risk professionally.

@sunglassesonthetable

said 'seriously?' in response to my post so I thought it best I explained why. Hopefully it made sense!

I was questioning being "complicit " in her downward spiral.

I keep repeating that I don't agree with AE's SM posting but that I have much sympathy for her situation.

I'm not really sure how that makes me 'complicit' or having empathy for AG' s situation makes it " go her" in what she is doing. But that's like talking to a brick wall on this thread.

I don't really disagree with what you say in your longer thread at all. I understand that she is probably damaging her reputation.

Youvegotten was talking about the people who are ostensibly "on her side" on twitter etc.

They are complicit, they are just treating it like a soap opera, egging her on and waiting for her life to implode in a grand old public spectacle where they can bask in the schadenfreude and drama of it all. It's pretty awful to think there are people out there like that

She is clearly vulnerable.

What I don't get is why the people who say she has every right to voice her hurt (which I don't necessarily disagree with in principle), and good on her for doing so, don't seem to be able to see that this course she is taking is harmful to the children?

I also don't understand why people are saying definitively he's a cheat because all we have to go on is what Alice Evans herself is saying, and she has changed her story a lot. To me this is a possible clue that she's maybe not telling the truth. But people are taking her at her word.

Now don't get me wrong, I reckon I've not got the best view on men in general but I can't damn him as a cheating shitbag just on her changeable say so. If it ever comes out in the wash that he was cheating then yeah full on arsehole, but till then I think so far he seems to be doing the best he can by staying quiet publicly, he's clearly trying to stay in touch/see his children and gain a co-parenting, joint custody agreement - which ideally would be the healthiest thing for the children.

It's the children mainly that I'm concerned about, everyone else is an adult and it's every (wo)man for themselves, but they should be trying to shield their children from this - both of them - that doesn't mean (as AE seems to think it does) that he never gets to have another girlfriend, or speaks to the children about her or whatever. There isn't an appropriate length of time really but I think he's waited long enough to move on.

I'm left with two options on him:
He's an abusive, cheating shit - So, so painful but if there was abuse why is she not trying her hardest to recover and deal with getting the children sorted, why poke the bear? in essence.
Or
He is not abusive and left for his own reasons - in which case why is she seemingly so determined on destroying him (and anyone around him, since she's also attacking his co-stars apparently now), and alienating her children from him? I.e she is abusive.

Either way as I said before she's going about this in a way that is ultimately damaging to the children, whereas from what we can glean from her is that he is making the effort to be a father.

I'm sure other actors manage to co-parent with their ex's without having to give up their job?

And I spent so long writing that, that I've XP'd with youvegotten and sunglasses - sorry folks!

Poor woman is having a breakdown.

He could have done things better, thought about his children in all of this.

Of course he knew his wife would go nuclear at the instagram pictures, humiliated his whole family.

I hope someone she finds some peace.

Eh?

I hope she finds some peace.

And another bloke to take pictures with.

Come on Alice, get youself a nice security bloke who no one can question when you're on a family day out.

Preferably at least 10 years younger, stating how much you're smiling now.

He's playing the game, now it's your turn.
Dignified insinuations.

@Onthedunes

And another bloke to take pictures with.

Come on Alice, get youself a nice security bloke who no one can question when you're on a family day out.

Preferably at least 10 years younger, stating how much you're smiling now.

He's playing the game, now it's your turn.
Dignified insinuations.

See, sorry Onthedunes, this sort of thing (in jest?) sounds alright but with her being so vulnerable, jokey advice like this would be harmful IMO, it just eggs on tit for tat behaviour over real or perceived sleights and the children are damaged by that.

Apart from the fact that she doesn't need a man to appear stable or whatever, obviously which is another notion that needs put in the bin.

The best revenge is a life well lived and all that.

The reason I took the effort to post AE tweets was to show -verbatim- what I consider to be bullying of another human being.
We all learn, even as kids, to stand up to bullies and as much as I recognize she is going through hell, as other posters mentioned, the people egging her on to call her ex's new partner by every disgusting name in the book are doing her no favours.
I know that most people understand to NOT give into blackmail, ever, because once someone knows what triggers to push to FORCE you to do as they want, they will keep coming back to that. Even governments have the policy of never negotiating with those sort of people.
In this case though, she stated today - and I felt the pain in her words - that she NEEDS Ioan to talk to her.
I understand why he might be apprehensive of doing that, because how is he supposed to know that she won't continue or even scale up the intense tweets about him? At this point though I think he might need to sit down and ask her directly what it is she expects him to do.
The problem with sitting down with people who force you to do so, is that they tend to move the goalposts. He can not know that what he agrees to today, will be enough to stop her hate-tweeting next week.
The point for marriage counselling is long gone and if AE hopes that a face to face conversation will change his mind and convince him to take her back, I understand why he would not want that. Because he has made his decision and the sooner she accepts that, they sooner they can all begin to heal.
Perhaps a sit down face to face WITH mediators would be a solution, but I suspect she would not want that.

That tweet that reveals he wont talk to her is sad. Ive felt like that after i was dumped 8 weeks in. To be stonewalled by yr H of over a decade is a torment. He has discarded her and allegedly wants the children 50:50. If that is really what he wants then he is going to HAVE to talk to her at some point.
Hopefully as painful as it is, it will at some point help her to feel nothing for him.

@BruiserWoods

That tweet that reveals he wont talk to her is sad. Ive felt like that after i was dumped 8 weeks in. To be stonewalled by yr H of over a decade is a torment. He has discarded her and allegedly wants the children 50:50. If that is really what he wants then he is going to HAVE to talk to her at some point. Hopefully as painful as it is, it will at some point help her to feel nothing for him.

But he doesn't have to talk to her, it's perfectly acceptable in situations where there is possible abuse to have very little contact with your ex. All communications can be done through mediation, email or text etc and drop off and pick ups can be done without contact between the parents - particularly in cases where the parents can afford staff.

I'm not saying that he was abused because I don't know but it's advice that's given on here a lot and I know some court cases basically order it to be so.

If he'd just done a midnight flit out of the blue then yes completely cutting off contact would be an absolutely shit thing to do. That does not appear to be the case here though.

Although she is an unreliable narrator at times even Alice has said that she knew he was leaving.

The way she is acting atm is showing a person who is entrenched in their thinking and unable to participate in a calm and rational conversation. If you've ever been on the other side of a conversation with someone like that you know it's as constructive as banging your head on a wall.

I'm not a big fan of assuming but in this case I'm assuming Ioan whatsisface may have been advised not to have contact with her or to only communicate through official legal channels.

At least we know for sure he is still in communication with his children which should be the main focus and priority for everyone.