Team Ioan Gruffudd or Alice Evans?

[BabyBearRus]

I've been following the story around the breakup of Ioan and Alice. I haven't been a great fan of Alice in the past, but I do feel for her and her children right now. Who else thinks that Ioan has behaved atrociously to his family? According to his wife, he has been having an affair for a long while, and making her feel as though she was in the wrong for months.

@Glassofshloer

It’s toe curling. These are the sort of tactics I would expect from a 16 year old after their first break up - ‘she’s not even pretty anyway’ ‘hated his mum tbh and she never liked me’ ‘good luck newgirlfriend you’re going to need it’ ‘hope you know he was sleeping with me when he was dating you newgirlfriend’ ‘he said he would never get another girlfriend how can he break such an insane and unrealistic promise’ etc

Im fully team Ioan now in response to the title of the thread, her behaviour has been so extreme I don’t believe this is all down to the split - I believe she has been difficult from day 1 and I’m genuinely surprised he stuck around 15 years.

I know esp. with regards to liking posts of people slagging off his new partner. Talk about throwing stones then hiding your hands. Also, not to be that person, but if she "isnt really that pretty" what does it say about you, that that is who he left you for..yeah.

"The ho" 🙄 She's told so many 'half truths' I don't believe most of what she's claiming.

Childish and difficult to say the least.

Returning to work after a long break is difficult for any middle-aged woman, let alone the entertainment industry where so much emphasis is based on looks, personality and like-ability as well as acting talent and who you know.

The more AE carries on, the more she looks like a “harpy”. I don’t she’s doing herself any favours in the long-term.

@BorsetshireBanality

Returning to work after a long break is difficult for any middle-aged woman, let alone the entertainment industry where so much emphasis is based on looks, personality and like-ability as well as acting talent and who you know.

The more AE carries on, the more she looks like a “harpy”. I don’t she’s doing herself any favours in the long-term.

I genuinely don't think she plans on working again, IMO she's doing alot to prevent future offers. I mean she is even disclosing how much money Glen Close made on 102 Dalmatians. That's such a no-go. You just dont do that. And now people know she is prone to doing that, I wonder how anyone is going to be able to trust her in future. That is so unprofessional

I wish I could be Team Alice, as her despair and sadness is so obvious to see, but she's really not doing herself any favours here.

She needs to put down her phone, and use the help of her therapist to heal from her marriage breakdown. This destructive behaviour is only allowing her to wallow, instead of moving on with her life.

@BruiserWoods

Ps given that my therapist tried to talk me out of sending a letter to my parents on the grounds that the fallout out from the letter would distract me from the original wound I need to heal, I wonder what her therapist makes of her labelling others narcs on twitter. Is she seeing a therapist right now?

She says she is seeing a therapist, and relays some pretty dodgy 'advice' that she says they've given her.

The thing is, she'll be paying for therapy privately and so can pick and choose who she sees. Anyone who tries to gently challenge her worldview will be immediately sacked as 'on his side' and she'll find another. The only therapist she'll stick with is one that cheerleads her and goes along with painting Ioan as a terrible person.

She's not in a frame of mind where a therapist can offer anything other than emotional support. She isn't in a place where she can reflect on her own issues that may have contributed to this situation or to even consider other perspectives. The best a therapist can offer her right now is a space to vent and cry so that that's one less unit of emotion she has to spill online or all over her daughters. Anything actually approaching therapeutic work or change will be impossible as the moment a therapist tries to do anything else she'll quit and find another.

Without knowing anything about AEs condition, when it comes to therapy it needs to be recognised as a treatment and a complimentary one at that. Generally self diagnosis and referral is ok for mild mental health issues.

But in many cases self referral avoids a medical diagnosis and a medically recommended treatment plan. Without a diagnosis or other treatments talking therapy can often be futile. A sustained period of anger and rage will ruin your mental and physical health. It means you are continuously generating chemicals that are only useful in small doses.

Even the best talking therapy isn’t going to address a severe mental health imbalance.

@LemonTT

Without knowing anything about AEs condition, when it comes to therapy it needs to be recognised as a treatment and a complimentary one at that. Generally self diagnosis and referral is ok for mild mental health issues.

But in many cases self referral avoids a medical diagnosis and a medically recommended treatment plan. Without a diagnosis or other treatments talking therapy can often be futile. A sustained period of anger and rage will ruin your mental and physical health. It means you are continuously generating chemicals that are only useful in small doses.

Even the best talking therapy isn’t going to address a severe mental health imbalance.

Absolutely. From what I've seen it seems as though she may have a personality disorder that requires input from a psychiatrist. But of course if someone isn't able or willing to see that they have a problem, they're convinced everyone and everything else is the problem, they won't get that help voluntarily. It's one of the sad conundrums, often the people most in need of mental healthcare are the ones most likely to recognise they would benefit from it.

I just thought I'd chip in as so many comments are 'where is her therapist in all of this!?' as though there's any chance of her actually listening to a good therapist who tries to proactively help her.

Honestly, if she's that unhinged, shame on Ioan for continuing to take jobs abroad instead of being physically with his children.

He can't be that concerned. If he really thought she was a mess surely he'd be in the same country as his small children ensuring they were ok.

It's becoming increasingly clear why her husband wanted out. She's showing herself to be rather a nasty piece of work.

@DifferentHair

Honestly, if she's that unhinged, shame on Ioan for continuing to take jobs abroad instead of being physically with his children.

He can't be that concerned. If he really thought she was a mess surely he'd be in the same country as his small children ensuring they were ok.

It's possibly why they employ a nanny as well as Alice being at home. The nanny probably provides a bit of stability. Though I do agree that Ioan should definitely have tried to take jobs closer to home. Australia is about as far as it gets. They are probably so used to a certain lifestyle they may have put this above everything else. Perhaps by convincing themselves it is better for the children as they can have the best of everything.

@Cheeseandlobster true. I was a bit when people talk about her being unable to work due to children when they're presumably both in school + have a nanny 40 hours a week. How many waking hours does that leave?

Can see how the nanny is a protective factor, but still - if the mother is an emotional wreck then it's sad father hasnt stepped up in person. It's not the same to pay for a nanny.

I wonder at him apparently going for 50/50 custody- how will that work? Doesn't he shoot in Australia half the year? And now he's in France? Is he planning on dragging these children around the globe with him or will he scale back his work and stay in one spot to have 50/50 custody.

@DifferentHair I think Alice also has fibromyalgia too though.

I don't know how 50 50 custody would work either. It would be a logistical nightmare if Ioan is based all over the world. I guess he could have them school holidays etc but this wouldn't be fair on them seeing their friends and would be very Disney Dad

[quote Cheeseandlobster]@DifferentHair I think Alice also has fibromyalgia too though.

I don't know how 50 50 custody would work either. It would be a logistical nightmare if Ioan is based all over the world. I guess he could have them school holidays etc but this wouldn't be fair on them seeing their friends and would be very Disney Dad[/quote]
But how is she supposed to be supported in not working due to her condition if he doesn’t take the best acting jobs possible?

@DifferentHair

Honestly, if she's that unhinged, shame on Ioan for continuing to take jobs abroad instead of being physically with his children.

He can't be that concerned. If he really thought she was a mess surely he'd be in the same country as his small children ensuring they were ok.

He isn't a big movie star. He doesn't have the clout to be able to make demands on filming location, or the celebrity to be able to pick and choose roles according to what suits him. He's the only person bringing an income into a family that is supporting two children, a nanny, a mother who doesn't work, and himself. You can't just break contract and bolt halfway through filming with so many other people's jobs on the line. He'd make himself unemployable in the future, and Alice isn't looking like she'd be the one to step up and start earning.

@Glassofshloer we don't know their financial situation (although I suspect AE's twitter feed will get to that soon) so we can only speculate about what difference it would make if he took time off to be physically present for his daughters in the midst of an ugly divorce. I'm guessing their net worth is in the millions though so they wouldn't be in dire straits.

But if it's financially necessary for him to work abroad for most of the year, then it can't also be possible for him to have 50/50 custody. It's one of the other, surely?

I keep changing my position. I think they've both let themselves and their children down, but equally I feel sorry for them both.

@ChameleonKola good point, you're right

Everything I have read about this separation has been directly from Alice's mouth, and all it's left me thinking is that it's impressive he was able to get away at all. She comes across like an emotional abuser. Histrionics, threats, harassment, insults, refusal to let go, self importance, lack of insight, using her children as unpaid therapists, not so subtly attempting to achieve parental alienation.

She's scored a massive, massive own goal making everything she's said so public available. She'll never be able to live this down or move on in the eyes of the public. Most relationships that go badly wrong have fault on both sides and I'm sure this is no different, but I can't imagine the strength it took Ioan to manage to leave her. He'll have had to put up with this for years.

I agree @ChameleonKola

They will have built up a lifestyle on him earning good money as a fairly prominent actor. I can only imagine AE’s Instagram if he decided to only take very small local roles & they had to sell the house, move the girls away from their schools etc because they couldn’t afford to stay.

Whatever he does, she is going to say he is the worst person ever (unless it’s going back to her of course).

@Glassofshloer

I agree *@ChameleonKola*

They will have built up a lifestyle on him earning good money as a fairly prominent actor. I can only imagine AE’s Instagram if he decided to only take very small local roles & they had to sell the house, move the girls away from their schools etc because they couldn’t afford to stay.

Whatever he does, she is going to say he is the worst person ever (unless it’s going back to her of course).

I agree. He is never going to win no matter what he does. The whole thing is an absolute shit show

She lost me awhile ago when she was clearly encouraging her followers to attack her critics. I’ve been in her position and it’s not pleasant but at some point you need to rise above it. To me she is not coming across well and jumps on anything and twists it to her own agenda. It’s sad, I think she could do with some help and advice that helps her move forward, obtain all that she is entitled to and start rebuilding her life. I find it very odd that she turns to strangers for support.

Today I feel sorry for Ioan who can’t even have a conversation with his daughter without it being plastered everywhere.

Rather than venting and getting more riled up by strangers she needs to be protecting herself as I can’t help but think she maybe providing rather a lot of ammunition that could be used against her.

I don’t think anything would be gained by them having a confrontation on the residency of the children in advance of the pending court proceedings. Legally and emotionally I doubt he would be encouraged to intervene unless there was clear evidence of harm. Then it would be via the courts and whatever equivalent there is of social services in California.

The worse thing now for those kids would be a tug of war with them in the middle. He can’t just show up and take them away.

[quote DifferentHair]@Glassofshloer we don't know their financial situation (although I suspect AE's twitter feed will get to that soon) so we can only speculate about what difference it would make if he took time off to be physically present for his daughters in the midst of an ugly divorce. I'm guessing their net worth is in the millions though so they wouldn't be in dire straits.

But if it's financially necessary for him to work abroad for most of the year, then it can't also be possible for him to have 50/50 custody. It's one of the other, surely?

I keep changing my position. I think they've both let themselves and their children down, but equally I feel sorry for them both. [/quote]
She discussed this at length as well. Saying she cant bear to give him 50-50 because the kids would be around his new partner. Her choice of words to describe her were .. less tasteful

Gosh. Never really had a relationship with their dad?! This is getting more destructive and nasty by the day. If that were true, why would the girls be so devastated at him leaving? Were all of her insta posts about him being an amazing dad a lie? Why would she want him back?

@Glassofshloer

Gosh. Never really had a relationship with their dad?! This is getting more destructive and nasty by the day. If that were true, why would the girls be so devastated at him leaving? Were all of her insta posts about him being an amazing dad a lie? Why would she want him back?

Its just malicious slander IMO. The fact that he is being so quiet about this speaks bounds about his character. How can she claim their father was both estranged, and distant from her even before he filed, she even said that his own child hates him now - well Duh. If the kids have access to SM I would be surprised if they havent read all the vitriol she is spilling about him. Also regarding the nanny, one day she says she would be willing to find any job to make sure she can afford to keep the nanny, the next day she says "she can't work". Like even reading her tweets you can tell..there is alot going on in her head.