Team Ioan Gruffudd or Alice Evans?

[BabyBearRus]

I've been following the story around the breakup of Ioan and Alice. I haven't been a great fan of Alice in the past, but I do feel for her and her children right now. Who else thinks that Ioan has behaved atrociously to his family? According to his wife, he has been having an affair for a long while, and making her feel as though she was in the wrong for months.

I agree the 'he's my husband' thing is odd.

He really isn't.

My DP's ex-wife recently described herself to a shared acquaintance as 'separated. They have been fully divorced for over two years.

@mylovelydd

What are they doing while she's engrossed in Twitter all day long.

What's their dad doing? I mean isn't it months since he's even clapped eyes on his kids in person while enjoying ice cream on a bench with his new girlfriend?
But yeah attack the mother who's struggling to parent on her own.

Not attacking at all. I've never said he's in the right? I've also been a single parent.

But the amount of energy she is investing into calling out everyone on Twitter who doesn't agree with her must be draining and I would question how she can be fully attentive to her kids while being so wrapped up in it all. Not an attack.

I truly hope she gets some help because her actions re not healthy at all.

From her Twitter today:

I'm happy to let him go. But He should have told the truth about it. To all of us.

*This morning on the phone he told our youngest (AGAIN) that he didn't have a new girlfriend.

That's just mind-games.

It's going to be even worse now than when she found out the first time.*

If this is true, the guy is really a gaslighter.

@mylovelydd

What are they doing while she's engrossed in Twitter all day long.

What's their dad doing? I mean isn't it months since he's even clapped eyes on his kids in person while enjoying ice cream on a bench with his new girlfriend?
But yeah attack the mother who's struggling to parent on her own.

She tweeted recently that she had refused to hand her daughters over as per their agreement as she’d wanted to keep them an extra night, so he’s clearly seen them recently.

As for giving her support. Gotta laugh at the double standards on here, a man abuses a woman, he’s a Bastard and she’s to get out fast. A woman abuses a man and she’s mental health issues and needs our compassion and support. Because yeah, women just can’t be abusive right,

@DuchessOfDisaster

From her Twitter today:

I'm happy to let him go. But He should have told the truth about it. To all of us.

*This morning on the phone he told our youngest (AGAIN) that he didn't have a new girlfriend.

That's just mind-games.

It's going to be even worse now than when she found out the first time.*

If this is true, the guy is really a gaslighter.

We don't know it's true though, do we?

We don't know it's true though, do we?

Exactly, it's all a croc of speculation. In every direction.

@sunglassesonthetable

We don't know it's true though, do we?

Exactly, it's all a croc of speculation. In every direction.

Exactly, I very much doubt he’s posting he’s in a relationship then phoning his daughter and saying he’s not, unless he’s a total psycho. Or Alice wants folks to think he is.

It could also be a case of his daughter telling her Mum that because she recognises her Mum is having problems with her Dad having a new relationship (and has seen her Mum's reaction). She could be in that hideous position of trying to keep the peace between warring adults.

Exactly, I very much doubt he’s posting he’s in a relationship then phoning his daughter and saying he’s not, unless he’s a total psycho. Or Alice wants folks to think he is.

I don't know IG so I have no idea, @Bluntness100 .How would you know?

I doubt either of them are 'total psychos' tbh.

But I tend to think AE is in a terrible situation, single parenting and under pressure, whilst he is very absent. I know which situation I think looks easier.

@sunglassesonthetable

We don't know it's true though, do we?

Exactly, it's all a croc of speculation. In every direction.

Which is why I qualified my statement with "if this is true"

@Bluntness And do you actually have any evidence that she is abusive?

[quote mylovelydd]@Bluntness And do you actually have any evidence that she is abusive?[/quote]
Um well I don’t know about you but all those tweets about him feel abusive to me.

Um well I don’t know about you but all those tweets about him feel abusive to me.

So no.

Using your child as a therapist to unload adult problems on is emotionally abusive. Children should never be put in that position. She has admitted to doing that herself in newspaper articles and on twitter and is indicative of parental alienation.

Threatening suicide because someone blocks you on SM is highly manipulative and is always, always a red flag on MN. She herself has written these threats on twitter.

Bullying other people because they like a post by your ex is unacceptable.Why is it okay to bully Tamsin Outhwaite?

All of these examples are directly supported by her own words. Why are people not listening to what she is actually saying rather than making up a narrative.

Honestly, the double standards on here are mind blowing.

She can be a woman and be abusive
She can be suffering with MH problems and be abusive

For her sake and more importantly for the sake of the children, she really needs help and to stop abusing others or it will end very badly for her in court, which could be disastrous for her long term wellbeing.

I really hope that the court appoint a cafcass officer to advocate for the children. They are the ones I really feel for in this situation.

She can be a woman and be abusive
She can be suffering with MH problems and be abusive

Of course.

Luckily custody decisions are based on actual fact by people who are first hand observers.

I don't think anyone would disagree with you on that point sun. Which is why the kids need their own representation to consider the situation from an objective perspective and make an appropriate recommendation.

Totally agree.

I've just read back some of the tweets and Instagram posts. I totally understand the anger, hurt and pain Alice Evans is feeling. My marriage broke down after my ex's philandering.

However, plastering everything over social media is entirely regrettable and wrong. She is harming her children and not putting them first.

When I broke up with my ex I asked my male best friend to advise me through it and tell me if I went back to him and it wasn't in my best interests. He said yes. But he also said to me: 'your children deserve two loving parents though not necessarily together. If I ever think you are using your children against him I will tell you, as that is wrong.'

I stood by that (I hope I would have done anyway) and worked really hard to behave well and to honour XH's parenting rights and the needs of my children. I knew it was vital for their well-being. I was so devastated for them as I had had such a happy childhood which they might now be deprived of. I also was driven by wanting my children to think well of me when they grew up so they could never hold it against me that I had deprived them of loving relationships with their Dad. It was a shallow motivation to keep the moral high ground.

I wish, wish, wish someone was advising Alice to stop washing her dirty linen in public and that she was listening. She obviously feels aggrieved but she will also hate the fact that his more dignified approach is making her look worse. No marriage should be a media war but he is definitely conducting himself better. The children will be able to read all of this - forever. It will be hurting them now and in the future. They may not forgive her.

I will not comment on the rights and wrongs of their break up, infidelity etc. How can we know or judge what went on? But I do abhor the misogyny of the comments about her weight and calling her a Karen.

In a way the fact that Alice Evans has a nanny both children at school probably makes things more difficult. She has nothing else to occupy her but dwelling on all this instead of getting on with her day to day life. Probably a big mistake giving up her career completely and now finding herself alone at the age of 50 having the carpet pulled out from under her. And nice lifestyle and luxury house under threat. Lesson to be learnt there.

Tbh Id be really careful repeating those claims she puts out about him not having laid eyes on his kids or whatever, because that is just defamation and as we saw from another MN thread just TODAY, your adress can absolutely be found and you can/will be held liable for libel.
The damages to his reputation, also financial, are way more significant than feeling you showed solidary to her on Mumsnet.
None of us know whats going on besides what she herself said she has done.

Isn't it a bit par for the course, handsome Hollywood actor aged around 50 finds himself involved with younger woman? Think of Johnny Depp leaving Vanessa Paradis for a younger actress. Though in that particular case it turned into a kind of personal disaster for him quite quickly and his first wife ended up testifying on his behalf in court!

As a (first/only) wife, I think a lesson may be to be aware of this and make sure you maintain your own personal interests. Maybe thats a bit difficult if you're a 'giver' and in some ways it does go against the grain of traditional marriage. But women do have separate interests (I believe) from men and it is in their interests to uphold them even in marriage. I don't know if that helps with the 'blindsideness' or pain of rejection, maybe, maybe not, but just a thought.

Just to clarify further, I think men and women also have joint and collective interests as well, the aspect of the happy marriage or partnership if you like.

Isn't it a bit par for the course, handsome Hollywood actor aged around 50 finds himself involved with younger woman? Think of Johnny Depp leaving Vanessa Paradis for a younger actress. Though in that particular case it turned into a kind of personal disaster for him quite quickly and his first wife ended up testifying on his behalf in court!

But again they have been split a year already, other than Alice’s assertion the mere fact he’s started a new relationship a year after they split with soneone he knew is proof he was cheating, she literally has nothing else.

I'm just talking generally, Bluntness.