Team Ioan Gruffudd or Alice Evans?

[BabyBearRus]

I've been following the story around the breakup of Ioan and Alice. I haven't been a great fan of Alice in the past, but I do feel for her and her children right now. Who else thinks that Ioan has behaved atrociously to his family? According to his wife, he has been having an affair for a long while, and making her feel as though she was in the wrong for months.

@TheStoic

Nyxs, Tattle also isn’t the whole world. Do you accept that?

My personal opinion:
Alice has significant mental health issues that she has been battling for years. Her reliance on social media, and alcohol, is bad, and I would not want to be married to her. Her behaviour is very harmful to her children. That’s an understatement.

Ioan is a middle-aged man cliche. He wanted to end his marriage, and he couldn’t have done it in a worse way. He found a younger model, he cheated on his wife, and I don’t know what he was thinking posting it on Instagram.

New girlfriend: irrelevant. She won’t be around this time next year.

You really don't know anything about defamation laws, do you? Because what you're saying here about them both, especially AE, is highly defamatory. Citing it as "my personal opinion" won't stopped you getting sued if you don't have evidence to prove what you've posted is 100% true.

The stoic why do you keep going on about him cheating. No one knows that and you’re writing it like fact and won’t let go,

Him and Alice ended a year ago, he’s fully entitled to enter a new relationship as a single man, as is his new partner, who is also single. They do not have to hide it.

Now was he seeing her before the relationship ended. No one knows. Certainly Alice wasn’t suggesting he was over the side before. She’s simply seen him a year later in a new relationship and made an accusation. She has absolutely no evidence they were ever cheating. None.

She’s even accused Tamsin Outhwaite of knowing and told her she’d have to live with that for the rest of her life. All the poor woman did was post “amazing” in response to Ian posting that pic and saying thanks for making me smile again, a year after his marriage ended.

He wanted to end his marriage, and he couldn’t have done it in a worse way.

What? Telling her the marriage was over, leaving, and getting a new girlfriend a year later? As far as we actually know (not suspect or guess or project) he did everything that MN say you should do before you leave your marriage. He tried, he decided it wasn't working, he left, he has stayed quiet and not spent the last year posting his side on social media, he is paying to house and feed the kids, he waited nearly a year to start a new relationship and apparently he's still a cheating scumbag.

I really do feel for men on MN sometimes. They just can't win.

I’d also add Alice keeps changing her story.

She went from he was cheating for three years, and when it was shown that was Geographically and physically impossible changed it to two years, and when it was pointed out his new partner had a very small part in series two and he was stuck in Australia to Covid she changed it again to Alice and Ian were shagging and deeply in love the summer before they split and insinuating it started after he went back to Australia. She’s now posted three different versions simply because the man started a new relationship a year later and her previous two versions were highly unlikely.

Sure he might have been cheating, or he might simoly have developed a relationship a year after it ended, with someone he already knew as a single man, keeping accusing him of cheating is really not ok.

You really don't know anything about defamation laws, do you?

Educate me, Loudestcat. Is it based on the laws where this site is based? Or where the subjects are based? Or where I am based? But start with your credentials.

Tbh, if she was my sister, I'd be telling her to stop showing herself up all over the shop.

Sounds like its been a difficult marriage for a few years. Apparently he works away for 9 months of the year. That must be hard for the strongest of marriages.

I may be wrong but didn't Alice say at one point she thought he was with the young actress who played his daughter in Harrow?

She didn't Elderflower but the media heavily hinted at it.

My personal opinion is this isn’t about cheating or any of that stuff. That’s a red herring.

This is a marriage that’s been over for years, and I personally think Alice may have a problem with alcohol and that’s what is behind her erratic social media behaviour, and quite frankly her appearance, her bloated and extended tummy could concerningly indicate liver issues, (it doesn’t look like normal weight gain in the pic she shared of her bare extended tummy)

She’s already two years ago threatened to commit suicide on social media because of a spat with a random and stated she was drinking whisky, when she was doing it.

In my experience whisky disagrees with a lot of people and can make people bad tempered and aggressive. This isn’t someone who was sitting drinking a few glasses of wine, she was heavily on whisky and that was well before he ended the marriage.

@TheStoic

You really don't know anything about defamation laws, do you?

Educate me, Loudestcat. Is it based on the laws where this site is based? Or where the subjects are based? Or where I am based? But start with your credentials.

I have previously undertaking training in libel and defamation law and it's my understanding that if someone wants to sue you, they can use any of those options. For example, if you're in the UK where MN is registered, a writ could be issued based on UK defamation law which puts the onus on you making the claim to prove its true. US law is different in that it would be on the claimant – i.e. AE – to prove what you've written is true, so it's unlikely they'd risk having to do that. Australia's just updated its law so that MN would be liable for third-party comments if the girlfriend wanted to sue over being called the OW, but that doesn't mean you'd be off the hook completely, as MN has a disclaimer that exonerates the site from claims arising from posters' comments. It says quite clearly regards the posting of defamatory comments that "Members should also be aware that such activities may subject them to civil actions or criminal penalties".

This is a marriage that’s been over for years, and I personally think Alice may have a problem with alcohol and that’s what is behind her erratic social media behaviour, and quite frankly her appearance, her bloated and extended tummy could concerningly indicate liver issues, (it doesn’t look like normal weight gain in the pic she shared of her bare extended tummy)

I completely agree with you on this, Bluntness. I think she is in real trouble mentally and physically. I have huge concerns for her daughters.

I wish he would pack up his holiday with his girlfriend and get back to L.A. His daughters need him.

Nyxs, Tattle also isn’t the whole world. Do you accept that?

At what point have I quoted tattle. You were talking about how you see this all the time on threads on mumsnet. As though mumsnet is proof this individual man was cheating. And that (randomly) he was telling the possible OW that he was separated when they weren't.

Guess what, plenty of OW know they are the OW and shag the men anyway. Some even lie and say they don't.

Plenty of men and women in real life do leave before they jump into bed with someone else. Some may have had their head turned, but do the right thing and end the relationship and give it time then pursue a relationship with the person that turned their head. Plenty just leave.

And if you actually read threads loads have no proof but just believe the posters who are adamant there's definitely an OW. Most of who are projecting their own ezperienve and get some sort of kick out making an op feel worse.

Back to the fake situation you posted.

There's no proof she was a OW. And absolutely no one has said he was telling the girlfriend he had left his wife when he hadn't. So your situation was entirely irrelevant

I wish he would pack up his holiday with his girlfriend and get back to L.A. His daughters need him.

Alice even stated the photo of him and his girlfriend was taken where he is working.

If he stops work, is Alice paying for everything for the 2 of them until the divorce?

At what point have I quoted tattle.

Do you post on tattle?

@TheStoic

At what point have I quoted tattle.

Do you post on tattle?

What? Why would I post on tattle?

Is that a Yes or a No?

@TheStoic

Is that a Yes or a No?

Its a no.

Are you going to answer why you would presume I would?

I don’t presume you would. If you say you don’t post there, I believe you.

@TheStoic

Hmmm ok. I’ll try to…make sense.

Wife says: we had difficulties, like all married couples do, but we were actually having more sex than usual in that period.

Husband says: thank you for making me smile again. Or some such.

So, if we believe Alice, they were still sleeping together after he ‘made a connection’ with the new woman.

If we don’t believe his wife, why not?

And when any OW comes here and says her ‘boyfriend’ is not sleeping with his wife, do we believe him and her now?

AE also tweeted that they’d not had sex for nearly 2 years by the time they split, so why are you choosing to believe her new story in the DM that they were having regular sex just before he left?

She’s also tweeted that he was an absolute monster and that she hated living with him, and also that she loves him and life was wonderful and she wants him back. Which one is it? Surely if he was that much of a monster she wouldn’t be pleading with him to come back and would instead be glad he’s left?

As I said, and I have provided receipts for, she is not a reliable narrator.

I’m seeing some posts here that indicate that people are taking the DM article at totally face value. Some facts:

• their home is worth $2m with a $1m mortgage. Ioan royally fucked over AE with a prenup that only gives her 30% of the property equity. He’s a cunt for this and for not revisiting it after they had the kids and she gave up work. He’s an even bigger bastard for sticking to the terms of the prenup even now, though I’m not sure if he even could vary the terms to give her more of the house equity.

• AE has a full time nanny, even though both kids are in school, and has had a full time nanny since the first child was born. It’s not like she’s been at home slaving away to raise the kids, cook, clean, etc. Even with a nanny she’d have struggled to get her career back off the ground due to the 16/18 hour filming days for months on end. She’s clearly intelligent and gifted with languages so could have retrained.

• AE repeatedly trampled over a boundary that Ioan had of not wanted to be plastered all over her Instagram account. This includes her filming him in secret, filming him while asleep, filming him and taking photos as he asks her to stop, and posting nude (rear) photos of him. All of her captions on these images are to the effect of “oh he’s going to be so annoyed I posted this…” or “he’s told me he doesn’t like me posting these sort of things, but I couldn’t help myself!”. This is as far back as the early 10s so it’s not a recent issue that he didn’t want an affair partner to see him playing happy families.

• After the 2016 election AE really ramped up her Twitter posts (anti-Trump stuff, same tho). IG asked her to stop or tone it down as he’d been told that it was effecting him getting jobs. She refused, and instead tweeted that he’d asked her to tone it down because it was effecting his career. The career they all relied on!

• IG is a minor c-list celeb in LA. He doesn’t make that much money and was unemployed for 3 years at one point - had Harrow not taken off (lol, it’s shit) I don’t know how they’d have managed financially. He can’t afford to run two houses/pay off one $1m mortgage and just go and buy another $2m house. Tho given he’s only in the USA for 3 months of the year he could give AE a bigger chunk of equity from the house and get a smaller property, see my points about the pre-nup.

• AE has posted that, since the divorce started, she’s been fired by 3 therapists and the lawyers on both sides have mandated that all contact between IG and AE should only be in reference to the kids and through an app called “My Family Wizard”. It records all emails sent, including scoring them for tone etc, and is normally highly effective in high-conflict divorces. AE has previously tweeted screenshots of emails that IG has sent her through the MFW app and it’s clear that she only checks it very infrequently — there’s a chance he emailed her about the stuff with BW about to come out and she hasn’t checked or read it. I actually think this is vvvv unlikely but worth putting out there.

Before I get accused of all sorts of vile things again:

• I am nothing to do with IG/his family/his PR company/agent/whatever. I think he’s a fucking shit actor and an irredeemably shit father. He desperately needs acting lessons that focus on how to do accents, he is literally unwatchable in anything where he’s not meant to have a west Wales accent.

• He totally fucked over AE with a prenup that only gives her 30% value of their house and 10%(?) of his annual income as spousal support. He’s a complete shitbag for even suggesting a prenup with these terms, though she could’ve refused to sign/had terms amended, but I have masses of sympathy with AE on this.

• I do not post on OW threads on here, or even read them. I certainly wouldn’t encourage anyone to get involved with a married man (what the actual fuck).

• My concern is genuinely for the children. Her emotional incest with them is vile and will irreparably damage them. I was a child in exactly (minus the fame!) this situation, where my mother went totally off the rails and I was (aged 11) expected to council her, parent her, and act as her therapist for her rages and outbursts related to the divorce. It has broken and effected me in ways I cannot even articulate. So anyone suggesting that my concern for the children is fake and that I’d encourage another woman to break up a family can get to the far side of fuck, and then fuck right off some more.

I’m posting this because I hate seeing people taken in by liars and by people who twist the facts to suit their current mood or frame of mind. If you follow AE long enough you’ll see her contradicting herself from one day to the next to suit her current mood and argument. She desperately needs professional help, and so do the girls.
Framing this as a “great thing for women who won’t stay silent/maintain ‘dignity’” would be a valid stance if she would tell the fucking truth, not constantly change the facts to suit herself, and actually think of her children.

(And before someone shouts “defamation” - I have archived tweets from AE that support every. single. point. that I have made above. I’m just condensing all of her own words in one place. )

@TheStoic, He’s not on hols, he’s on set working.

I do agree he needs to get back, the issue is Alice is posting that she agreed to a custody agreement and has now renegaded on it. She posted basically fuck the law, the law hadn’t forced her agreement and it was just an agreement between her and him and if she wished to keep her kids extra time over what she had agreed, and past when they were supposed to be with him, she would and fuck him.

Can you imagine a man doing that to a woman? Not handing the kids over as promised? Letting the kids down that way? There would be an outcry.

She’s also posted she gets her twelve year old to “talk her down”. That’s so damaging as well for that young girl.

But she doesn’t work, he pays all the bills Inc for her currently, and he can’t just walk out of his contractual commitments, he’d be sued every which way. The whole thing is a nightmare,

CrashBank Finally a post that deals in fact, quoting what AE has specifically said herself, rather than the conjecture and unprovable accusations that have made up most of this thread! I wholeheartedly agree someone needs to intervene now for the sake of her girls. Frankly it should be him, on the next flight to LA, but clearly he's otherwise preoccupied right now.

I thought he was brilliant in Hornblower. He is a good actor. He must be earning a reasonable amount to support his ex and children. Considering she hasn't worked for years. I wouldn't be happy bankrolling somebody to live in luxury when they badmouthed me at every opportunity. He sounds more like a saint than a villain considering what he is putting up with.

I was just about to say this is an actual nightmare for them.

Regardless whether it’s work or a holiday, if I was away from my kids at a time like this I’d move hell and high water to get back to them. Literally nothing could stop me trying to get back to my children. Whatever he’s doing, they’re not going to become destitute by him packing up and coming home right now.