Dating thread 216 ... spooky fun in cuffing season

[BelladiMamma]

Hi everyone

Can someone else please copy and paste the rules as my screenshot is crap 💩

Or maybe I take the Pikes Peak MultiStrada out for a ride

I can totally see myself on one of those

@JustAnother0ldMan

Or maybe I take the Pikes Peak MultiStrada out for a ride

I can totally see myself on one of those

Name change suggestion: @DucatiMan

I’m like you @PurpleStripyScarf I couldn’t comprehend any sort of ‘forever’ relationship though I have seen successful models so I know it exists. I just find the whole idea of commitment suffocating and frightening! And I’ve never even been married!

@JustAnother0ldMan ha I think organising 20 girls age 7-10 is quite challenging too.

@Shayelle2009 Hello Miss! How are you? Been doing a few midnight late nights for work so a bit knackered. I have amended a few pics on my profile but just not feeling any sort of connection with anyone so I'm on the edge of calling it quits. How about you?

@LittleMo234

Thanks *@JustAnother0ldMan* - I'm not sure about the distance thing, I can't afford to travel far and don't want to start anything that's unsustainable because of this. I do have a decent (I think!) bio so I guess I'll have to just sit and wait or be less picky...

I don't want to settle though, it's either got to be brilliant or I'll just keep going with the singledom.

You don't settle, but you can be more open on your swiping.

Not everyone looks great in photos, not everyone is a fabulous wordsmith, not everyone knows that holding a fish is weird and off-putting. So maybe cut them some slack and have a chat with them, you can always bin them off if they only talk about fish (but could be your sole mate, your plaice or mine?).

Same if the chat is OK, meet up. I tend to think you don't know much about how you'll feel about someone unless you meet them.

If you're expecting to click with someone from a 4" photo and twenty words then you're going to be disappointed.

But also, your experience of them not responding is very usual. Don't take it personally. They may have stopped using the app, may have forgotten, be chatting to someone else, all sorts of things. It's probably not that they are not interested, they've probably not even thought about it.

@JustAnother0ldMan How about FabulousMrFifty ?

OMG yes yes definitely! Do it! 👏 Do it! 👏 Do it! 👏

@Shayelle2009

I’m like you *@PurpleStripyScarf* I couldn’t comprehend any sort of ‘forever’ relationship though I have seen successful models so I know it exists. I just find the whole idea of commitment suffocating and frightening! And I’ve never even been married!

I didn't used to have a problem with commitment I don't think - until I got stuck in an awful marriage. Now, the idea of something long-term just doesn't really appeal at all. Maybe I'll find it accidentally and be happy with it; or maybe I'll just continue to enjoy the here and now. I've got enough going on in my life (some good, some really bad) that I certainly don't want another relationship that's all-consuming - I don't have the headspace or the inclination.

your experience of them not responding is very usual. Don't take it personally. They may have stopped using the app, may have forgotten, be chatting to someone else, all sorts of things. It's probably not that they are not interested, they've probably not even thought about it.

This is absolutely true. I'd be interested to know what proportion of people on the apps are actually on the apps. I think often people go dormant for months at a time - so they won't even have seen you (or your like/message/whatever). Just because there's a profile there, doesn't mean there's a person actively there behind the profile. Which is frustrating, but it's definitely not personal to you.
Maybe increase your age range to +/-10 years? Or 7-8 if you feel more comfortable with that?

OMG @JustAnother0ldMan - the fish!! Must admit they've been getting an instant no from me if there's a fish photo... maybe I should give them the benefit of the trout?

@PurpleStripyScarf - I have friends more than 5 years younger / older than me so I guess I could push the boundaries a bit... thanks

[quote PurpleStripyScarf]**@JustAnother0ldMan* How about FabulousMrFifty ?*

OMG yes yes definitely! Do it! 👏 Do it! 👏 Do it! 👏 [/quote]
It’s like being at school again

HELLO from FabulousMrFifty

Are you 50?

Just asked iron when we are next hanging out. I just have a feeling he's gonna say he's not into the idea and that will be that. I hate days when I feel like this. Even went to bed at 6pm last night and just slept because I didn't feel like doing anything

Also yeah I find not many people respond when I message. Did look and had one reply from a iron from weeks ago. He's a odd one

@LittleMo234 I'd say just keep an open mind, especially when swiping. As @VanGoghsDog said, it's really hard to work out if you like someone based on such little info.
I don't think my all or nothing this is a dear of, or over, commitment. I'm pretty sure it boils down to avoiding getting hurt as my divorce traumatized me. If we're not together long, I won't get hurt. If we're together forever, I won't get hurt?

Gah - just had a message from no 1 iron Ms DualFudge wanting to chat later. I think this is the end. Probably an availability or distance thing. Dropped off the radar in the last week or so which is usually a bad sign. Will join Dazed on the bad day sofa.

@RayoftheTriffids @Dazedandconfused10 oh sh1t sorry to hear that

Hope things improve for both of you and sending hugs 🤗

Yay name change @FabulousMrFifty

@RayoftheTriffids there plenty of room here but fingers crossed that's not why she wants to chat!

Thanks Dazed and BelladiMamma. Well we'll see, but the omens are not great. Must say I find these OLD relationships very unpredictable. One minute you sailing along fine and then ..... 3 months seems to be a sticking point.

Is anyone trying the 'old fashioned' ways of dating? Joining clubs, going to pubs, etc? I'm thinking of trying to find a local social dancing club to join but worried it's going to be mostly couples there...

@RayoftheTriffids @Dazedandconfused10 fingers crossed that things improve for you soon! In my 'happily single' moments I swear I'm never going to put myself through this again but they don't last long enough...

@LittleMo234
maybe I should give them the benefit of the trout?
That’s terrible, you cannot be codding around with Fishermen, they know when you are taking the pike out of them.

I would worry about the messaging too much when I was on the apps, I probably messaged over 100 women probably less then 10% ever responded, some would ‘like’ me then never follow up

Personally what worked for me was looking for some common connection that I could link to an opening message,.
One lady had pictures of camping, one had pictures of her motorcycle, lots of women had pictures of dogs, and I used as an opener,

So rather then something like
Hello, I’m Mr blah blah love your profile blah blah

It could be something a bit more personal, as if you have already meet, that’s how I meet a couple of my previous irons (Ms NHS & Ms Restaurant), neither really went anywhere, but got some dates & got me out from in front of the telly for a while.

@VanGoghsDog, these lines are solid Gold, deffo going to use them
but could be your sole mate, your plaice or mine?

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@Naimee87

I’ll start doing roll call and set up a WA group on December 1st as reckon it’s probably best to keep practical organising details off a public forum x[/quote]
I'm happy to help organising

@mpz731play

Are you 50?

I’m 52, but FabulousMrFiftyTwo doesn’t really have the same ring to it.

@LittleMo234

Is anyone trying the 'old fashioned' ways of dating? Joining clubs, going to pubs, etc? I'm thinking of trying to find a local social dancing club to join but worried it's going to be mostly couples there...

Yeah, MrWG and MrStone are via my hobby group. My last relationship was through the same group (ended last July).

Just a warning though, there can be a lot of gossip around these relationships. And the fallout when they end can be miserable, depending on the circumstances. And you may have to jettison the group/hobby.

I've not picked anyone up in a pub for about thirty years though!

I think friends of friends is a good route - meet everyone you can, male or female, get involved in stuff, be interested in everyone.

I’m 52, but FabulousMrFiftyTwo doesn’t really have the same ring to it.

Could also get old very quickly! 😁