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Original poster

Dating thread 216 ... spooky fun in cuffing season

988 replies

BelladiMamma · 26/10/2021 22:22

Hi everyone

Can someone else please copy and paste the rules as my screenshot is crap 💩

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Original poster
BelladiMamma · 31/10/2021 00:18

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@BelladiMamma

LOL I'm like "but I tidied my place and my nether regions last Sunday for MrHedgehog, now I need to dress "smart-cute-casual-attractive but not too much of a hoe" this Sunday.

Too much mental load!

Definitely going to swipe on one of them heroic military or navy types next round, they have the decency to be away lots so I can be a hairy dirty grinch at home!

Looking forward to London cultured weekend pissup with you and everyone Grin[/quote]
Oh god you've reminded to sort the nether regions before tomorrow ...!

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Original poster
BelladiMamma · 31/10/2021 00:19

@Cocopogo

Toilet update, I’m out on a date. Was in two minds as still think about ex but he pissed me off royally today so I thought sod him I’m doing this. Seems a nice enough chap but my god he doesn’t shut up about himself, I think I’m going to have to make my excuses and leave, he clearly has no interest in me whatsoever as he’s just talking about himself so much, maybe nerves.
One of my pet hates too!

How did it pan out? Did you manage to make a polite exit?

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SpringlikeBunk · 31/10/2021 00:23

@Cocopogo

Have you escaped? Was he attractive in other ways? Just wondering on the nerves thing as well.

Stayingstrongish · 31/10/2021 06:43

I’d be interested in the London meet-up too, I go down sometimes for work 😊

Naimee87 · 31/10/2021 07:28

I‘d love to join the London trip if it happens! I‘ve only been once or twice years ago. If you do get dates sorted please tell me so i can get my DS/pooch to my parents place and sort out travel plans. I already feel like i know so many of you!

Finally put together my Truck CV last night and celebrated with way too much prosecco! Need to get out for a run sort my head out. Sorry some of your plans were a bit disappointing last night but i‘d give anything to switch places with you nice hangover free people.

Shayelle2009 · 31/10/2021 07:36

@BelladiMamma hope you had a good time at the gig last night despite the draining company!

@SpringlikeBunk good luck with the date zero today!

@Naimee87 it will be lovely to meet you and everyone else too.

I’m disappointed to be feeling so fresh this morning I’m actually really ready for the gym 🤣 so much for being a hungover mess 😒 I shall report back on any activity with Al pacino!!

I really need to try and think of inventive ways of making new friends locally in the little town I moved to but it’s tricky when you’re this age, single and no kids.

Isitreallyme177 · 31/10/2021 07:37

If we could do the London meet any month other than January the longest month ever I would be eternally grateful. Why companies think paying you on the 20th of December is a nice thing I'll never know. Especially when next payday is the 31st of January!🤷‍♀️

Moopyhereagain · 31/10/2021 08:01

So many great updates here and I’m excited to hear how it goes with MrActor @BelladiMamma
My question is how to stop myself getting obsessed … I need the rules tattooing. Supposed date zero on Friday was cancelled by him- I was ready to move on although I am very intrigued. Then he texted me poetry and all sorts of cultured/filthy stuff all yesterday so am hooked. But no firm rearranging yet.
I had an hour on the phone last night with another iron who seems nice enough but is dull in comparison. I need to have strong words with myself 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Eesha · 31/10/2021 08:13

@Moopyhereagain I think just keep in mind he might just want a pen pal to woo rather than actually meeting up. Plus he could be hiding who he really is. Have you tried a video call?

Cocopogo · 31/10/2021 08:14

@SpringlikeBunk yes I escaped not long after.

I haven’t heard from him since. Not even a polite thanks for the drink. I bought the first round I expected him to buy the next but he was so busy rattling on about himself that he never offered and I sat there with an empty glass for an hour wondering if there would be any redeeming features. I think I should follow you @Moopyhereagain and speak on the phone to them first, it would save a lot of hassle.

I have another date today so let’s see if that’s any better

Languidleopard · 31/10/2021 08:14

Morning all, I haven't been on here for a while as I've had a not great week with Mr Breadcrumbs and am still trying to process it.

I grew a bit suspicious on Wednesday night when he didn't respond to a WhatsApp message, which is very unlike him. When we met on Saturday for the cinema his body language was off. When I pressed him he fessed up that he'd started chatting to someone on a train and asked her out for a drink on Wednesay night.

I actually felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I guess my feelings for him have shifted over the last few weeks to a degree I didn't properly acknowledge.

He said he had wanted to meet her again but she turned him down. However, he now wants to go back on the apps but continue with what we have.

I feel like we've reached a cross roads in our situationship. We get on great, enjoy eachother's company and the sex is great. We're meeting up every weekend and having long phone convos several times a week. So for me this is very much starting to feel like a relationship.

Perhaps this progression is freaking him out or perhaps he just isn't as into me as he seems. He was adamant yesterday that he does not want a relationship and has made this clear from the start.

We argued (for the first time) and I left. I spent most of yesterday evening crying and feel so pathetic and annoyed with myself that I've let this happen to me. Not sure where to go from here, I feel so pissed off with him and disappointed 😞

Moopyhereagain · 31/10/2021 08:16

@Eesha agree that’s the risk - only been texting about 10 days and if a date isn’t firmed up shortly will definitely suggest a video call. He’s very cagey about what he actually does and gives only scant personal details. Lots of red flags obv. But so well read which gets me every time

Shayelle2009 · 31/10/2021 08:18

@Languidleopard that is so crap and hurtful, sorry you’ve been made to feel that way Flowers xx

WeWantTheFinestWines · 31/10/2021 08:20

Shayelle see if you have a local MeetUp group. I have zero single friends and every other week and weekend completely to myself so am in dire need of a social life so I joined one. I've been to some pub quizzes, on some walks and am due to play skittles soon (very rural pursuits). They're not the most exhilarating bunch of people, but I've had some laughs and nice chats and it's been nice not spending every single evening in front of the TV although I did get through the whole of Squid Game in a week

Moopyhereagain · 31/10/2021 08:20

@Languidleopard that’s so hard, sorry to hear. He’s saying he doesn’t want a relationship but it sounds like you are in one of sorts- but I guess you need to listen to his words and pull up your drawbridge a bit

WeWantTheFinestWines · 31/10/2021 08:28

So sorry to hear this Languid - what a punch in the gut when you've dared to let someone in. It is so very painful. I can completely understand why you felt you were moving towards a relationship, despite what he said. His actions clearly didn't match his words - of course you are going to believe his actions, when they seem to be expressing what you are feeling, i.e. a closeness and progression towards exclusivity.

At least he has been honest and consistent about his intentions verbally and surely now you have to end it? It is so very selfish, though, to take what you want while making sure you claim the high ground by being able to say you never said you wanted it...

Eesha · 31/10/2021 08:32

@Languidleopard run! It's the age old thing where if someone tells you who they are, listen. This coming from me where my ex said the 'I told you I was unavailable' after 7 months exclusively seeing each other. Anyway, I would see the woman on the train thing as a huge knock back personally and he would have clearly followed through had the woman said yes. Get rid.

SpringlikeBunk · 31/10/2021 08:40

@Languidleopard

I agree no contact best for now,
please give yourself time to heal from all the mixed messages.

Like you say it’s a physical as well as an emotional shock - have time for self-care and try to stay away from any contact or it will get harder to get out!

JustAnother0ldMan · 31/10/2021 09:05

@PurpleStripyScarf. Thanks

Re Hotels, I tend to stick with Premier Inn, you know what you are getting, Standard Room on semi-flex is normally about £40/£60, if you book in advance, bit cheaper is if you go for the Standard rate, £9 for breakfast is not worth it in London, if you go for a standard twin room on Standard rate you can do if for 30quid a night.

I’m in a P Inn this weekend in one of the upgraded rooms, which is okay, not sure it’s worth the extra 10 quid over standard What can I say, Match of The Day on a big telly and a BJ, must be in dirty weekend away heaven!

Languidleopard · 31/10/2021 09:09

Thanks everyone, your support has really helped this morning 😘

Yes, @WeWantTheFinestWines that's exactly what he's done, had what he wanted from the relationship but maintained the higher ground by saying he told me all along he didn't want one. I literally spent an hour on the phone on Thursday night listening to his work woes the day after the cheeky fucker had been on a date with train woman Angry

And yes I fear no contact is the only way I can get through this. I'm going to make today day 1. I miss him so much tbh 😔

Original poster
BelladiMamma · 31/10/2021 09:14

@Languidleopard there's so much to say here about his attitude and your emotions 🖤. It's all just soooo hurtful and crap.

Time to look after yourself. Let me know if you'd like to rant in private at any time! I think that so many of these situations are down to what we think we deserve. Look at the name you gave him - breadcrumbs. That's all you expected from him and for yourself. Just so shit when it happens though.

Day 1. We are here with you!!!

(Did you let him know how you felt or did you just argue by the way)?

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JustAnother0ldMan · 31/10/2021 09:17

@Languidleopard
Sorry to hear, that all sounds rather shit

MizK · 31/10/2021 09:20

@Languidleopard oh my god. Its actually shocking that people can treat others that way. Obviously you know you are worth so much more but I can imagine how hurt and disappointed you must be. At least you know now what type of a person he is and can protect yourself now.

Languidleopard · 31/10/2021 09:24

@BelladiMamma yeah, it was only ever going to be breadcrumbs and I think yesterday I finally realised it wasn't enough. I want to be with someone who thinks I'm amazing!

Yes, I told him how I felt. He was sympathetic but also quite defensive. Mixed messages all over the place really. It's hopeless for us I know.

Original poster
BelladiMamma · 31/10/2021 09:27

[quote Languidleopard]@BelladiMamma yeah, it was only ever going to be breadcrumbs and I think yesterday I finally realised it wasn't enough. I want to be with someone who thinks I'm amazing!

Yes, I told him how I felt. He was sympathetic but also quite defensive. Mixed messages all over the place really. It's hopeless for us I know.[/quote]
Too right! And you want to be with someone you think is amazing as well.

Roll on, MrFabulous. About bloody time, we've all been waiting for you 🤣

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