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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The One With The Vintage Dresses From Paris Geller Doesn’t Know About

998 replies

StuckInPollyannaMode · 26/10/2021 17:37

Previous thread here

I’ve lost count of how many threads I’ve had, so I bloody well hope this is the one where he signs!

I think whoever pointed out my mother gave me the dresses out of guilt is right. And don’t worry, I’m not handing them back.

I’m sure you will all enjoy this story. So, my grandmother left me various things in her will. To date I have received only one of them, which I have treasured and looked after for years. That’s why I’m so excited about the dresses.

The one I am particularly sore about is her engagement ring. It’s a diamond trilogy ring. I love it. I love it not because of what it is, but because of what it represents. She always promised it to me, and we were incredibly close (armchair psychologists, this is where you raise an eyebrow and look thoughtfully over the top of your glasses whilst going hmmm) not least because, when I was under a year old, my mother went into hospital to have my brother three months early. They managed to stop labour, but my mother stayed in hospital for nearly four months. I was only allowed to see her once a week, and got so upset at leaving her, that they decided it was best for me not to see her. My grandma moved in to look after me, and effectually became my second mum. I didn’t see my actual mum for nearly 3 months, and then she came home with a new born who needed all the usual attention. And Granny moved out again. When I was 8, she moved in with us and stayed with us until she died. I was the one who found her, when I was 13.

Any wonder I have deep seated issues?! Anyway. Back to the diamond story. She left me the ring. However, my mother has never handed it over. She wears it. I could understand not getting it til I was 21, 25, or 30 …nothing (she gave me half a dozen duck eggs for my 30th present, by the way), but then when my wedding day passed (and no, she didn’t hand it over for him to use as an engagement ring) and then my 40th…well, I’ve pretty much given up hope of getting it.

It was in a letter my grandmother left, not her actual will, and I’ve no idea where the letter is, or if she even still has it.

I have already told my brother that the ring is literally the only thing I will want when the time comes, as I can see her leaving it to my SIL just to spite me.

So, if you’re looking for a reason why I was fucked up enough to marry a loser like Geller, I think my therapist pretty much nailed it with the comment ‘do you think the way your mother replaced you with your brother might have something to do with your competitive relationship with him?’

As you were folks. I’m opening the gin and lighting the fire.

OP posts:
Newestname002 · 03/11/2021 22:14

@StuckInPollyannaMode

* He calls when he says he'll call, respects my boundaries, gives me space, is perfectly happy to accommodate my foibles, encourages me to go do things, and is both interesting and interested. As well as making me laugh like a drain, we have great sex. I fancy the pants off him.*

Wow! That sounds pretty good... I'm glad you have someone like this in your life OP. 🌹

Justilou1 · 06/11/2021 01:00

@StuckInPollyannaMode - calling when he says he will is one of the reasons I realised I felt completely different with DH than with any of my previous exes. (*tbf, they were mostly “tortured poet”, musician/artist, self-indulgent, narcissistic wankers). Anyhow, there was no game-playing. No sense of “My time is worth more than yours”, etc…
(Tbf, I pointed this out when he came home at 9:45 last night after telling me he’d be home for dinner by 8:00 at the latest, but “He forgot.”) He’s under a lot of stress atm, but I won’t excuse disprespect - nor will I ever stoop to chasing him either. (At the same time, I don’t sulk or throw tantrums. He gets a very clear outline of the expectation based on what he’d said and how I fee about it. If it continues to be a problem for me, THEN I will be angry.)

MummyofTw0 · 07/11/2021 12:49

I've been following your post and you sound like a great mum x

StuckInPollyannaMode · 10/11/2021 07:10

I bring news of great import!

No, of course he hasn’t signed, don’t be daft.

Word on the street is that Geller is dating!

Apparently he is on Match. No, I can’t find him —nor can several friends—

I’m absolutely fucking delighted. Do we think he’s actually started to move on? Should I warn whoever the poor woman is?!

Onto me. Because I’m more excited about this. Off to London this weekend with my chap. We’re doing a show and going for cocktails and out for Lebanese and on Saturday we’re going to Portobello for brunch before one of my favourite walks down to High Street Ken. I’ll be popping into the National to say hello to my favourite painting of all time, Mr and Mrs Andrews.

I can’t wait. It’s been over two years since I went up to town.

Oh, and I’ve applied for my professional grading. Should know within three weeks. So fingers crossed.

OP posts:
StuckInPollyannaMode · 10/11/2021 07:11

Strike through fail due to excitement

OP posts:
Pashazade · 10/11/2021 08:18

From all your descriptions of Gellar the mind rather boggles at him dating....but if it means he's less of a t**t to you that could be a good thing!
Enjoy town I was up a couple of weeks ago and it was great. If you end up in the vicinity, the Xmas windows at Fortnum and Mason were beautiful vs. The ones at Selfridges which were just weird and managed to look tacky. If you're in South Ken don't forget to check out Ben's Cookies (right outside the tube station) best cookies ever. Grin

Mix56 · 10/11/2021 08:32

Would any sane woman date a man who has been divorced 3 times ?
Of course he may just invent or lie !
He has 2 lots of DC...
Maybe he just wants sex😂😂😂
Have a fab time in London, You'll be exhausted on Monday !
Last time I did KHS I found it underwhelming & packed. Id taken DD for a w/e, show & shopping.
I really enjoyed flying into London City airport, perfect

comfortablyfrumpy · 10/11/2021 13:40

@StuckInPollyannaMode that's really funny but I can't help feeling sorry for the poor women who end up dating him.

I have kind of wished I could warn my STBEX's girlfriends what he's really like, but I think they do eventually work it out for themselves, as they disappear after a few months Grin

Here's to your weekend away with new man. And fingers crossed for a Gellar signature very soon.

Good luck with the grading!

RandomMess · 10/11/2021 13:48

Enjoy!!

I am up town tonight a d over the weekend if I ever get there, the joys of M6 closure!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 10/11/2021 14:52

Our favourite restaurant, when the boys were young, was in South Ken - it was a polish restaurant, decorating in many shades of brown with plastic table cloths - but the food was amazing - potato pancakes with apple sauce and sour cream, pork knuckles with mash, Polish sausages - but the boys’ favourite thing was the dumb waiter lift that ran between the kitchen and restaurant - the waitresses used to let them look down the shaft.

It was called Daquise and I think it is still there, but it has been completely redecorated since we last went. If it’s still the same people, though, the food will still be great.

pointythings · 10/11/2021 15:03

Have a fantastic weekend, Polly. And may Geller run into a slew of women who see through him in minutes.

AcrossthePond55 · 10/11/2021 15:56

Maybe his dating will take a bit of his focus away from Polly since hopefully his 'attention' will be focused on trying to 'impress' a new squeeze. When a man like him finds a new 'object' for their control they often want to be able to 'zero in' with all their attention. Maybe he'll even want to move the divorce along and finally sign those damned papers!

He may have less time for the girls as he will be 'soooo busy' with 'very important things' (shagging) to have them as much as he's entitled to. Either that or he'll finally do some parenting to prove what a good dad he is.

StuckInPollyannaMode · 10/11/2021 16:36

He’s dreadful in bed and has a very low sex drive.

Apparently it’s Serious.

We. Shall. See.

All booked in - Yalla Yalla, Electric Diner, Polpo, One Aldwych - I can’t WAIT! The polish restaurant sounds great though.

I’m not bothered about HSK itself, I just like the walk down past all the antiques shops…id rather do Sloane Sq and the Kings Road. But I fear I’m not going to be able to catch up on two years of Town in one trip I’ll be too busy shagging

Have a great time @RandomMess and if you see a tall couple with big grins on their faces, just sidle up and ask her if she knows Polly - you never know, it might be us!

OP posts:
Jconnais1chansonquivavsenerver · 10/11/2021 17:25

Just popping by to say, I remember "Daquise" from half a century ago.
www.standard.co.uk/reveller/restaurants/daquise-rises-from-the-ashes-7386590.html

Sorry, @StuckInPollyannaMode, I don't have a great deal to contribute but wish you a lovely smiley week-end in London!

RandomMess · 10/11/2021 17:57

How did you end up married to someone dreadful in bed 😱

I think I am way too selfish to have a partner that was rubbish or too demanding of me, it's all about what I like 🤣

Pashazade · 10/11/2021 19:19

Oh the cocktails at One Aldwych are fabulous! (Happy memories of drinking them on a company tab before the days of children!) Enjoy.

DartmoorDoughnut · 10/11/2021 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justilou1 · 11/11/2021 11:17

You absolutely deserve this, @StuckInPollyannaMode!!! Have a marvellous time!!!

BingBongToTheMoon · 11/11/2021 11:29

Yay found you…..I’d lost you for ages there!

LadyDanburysHat · 11/11/2021 16:41

Sounds like a fabulous weekend for you Polly.

StuckInPollyannaMode · 11/11/2021 22:36

Am I allowed a Thursday night post wine with a good friend GRR?!

My solicitor sent a response to Geller in the middle of October.

I sent him a message today to ask if it would be at all possible for him to take the Dollies to swimming next week as I had something which wouldn’t be finished in time.

His response?

I can’t do that as I have a call with my solicitor and it’s hard enough to get time with her already.

So…it’s been a MONTH and you can’t do a fucking call from the car, you eejit?!

Grrrrrrr. May your new woman tell you how it is with you in bed and finally persuade you out of those baggy faded boxers you are so fond of, you fuckwit.

I’ve had some really good work news which is keeping me going, and I’m nearly all packed for London, and new chap is being lovely. I have much to be grateful for.

Remember the house? The auction is open. First bid is in and I am holding my nerve. I think it’s gone, to be honest - I’m not paying 4.2% in fees, that’s daylight robbery.

In other news. My bloody car has gone on the blink, yet again. 5th time in 6 months. My dad rang me up and offered me his til April ( he can’t drive til then for medical reasons). Is it awful the first thing I thought Is what is this going to cost me?!

I’m likely to say yes. I don’t really have a choice - to keep pumping money into my shit heap or to borrow his. Or, you know, just buy a Land Rover (yes, yes YES I am still very sore about that)

Ok I’m going to watch an episode of Outlander and have some tea and go to bed.

OP posts:
SpringCrocus · 12/11/2021 02:45

#TEAMoutlander and just go you Flowers

Pashazade · 12/11/2021 07:46

The car seems like a good idea, but I'd double check MOT status! But presumably you've got your own insurance so I don't think there's too much they can hold over you assuming it won't actually cost them anything... I mean they can bang on about "we leant you a car for six months" but as your Dad can't drive anyway that should be easy enough to shrug off.

Pashazade · 12/11/2021 07:46

Oh and tax given you no longer have a disc to check!

RobertsRadio · 12/11/2021 13:01

I'd take up your Dad's offer on the 🚘. Perhaps this is his way of offering support or an olive branch that your Mum can't veto.

Why the fuckity fuck won't that fucking tosser just sign those bloody papers? I'm raging on your behalf even though you're an stranger on the internet, but I mean how bloody hard is it to sign your name and find time to talk to your solicitor by 'phone and take your daughters swimming. He is so bloody useless.

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