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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The One With The Vintage Dresses From Paris Geller Doesn’t Know About

998 replies

StuckInPollyannaMode · 26/10/2021 17:37

Previous thread here

I’ve lost count of how many threads I’ve had, so I bloody well hope this is the one where he signs!

I think whoever pointed out my mother gave me the dresses out of guilt is right. And don’t worry, I’m not handing them back.

I’m sure you will all enjoy this story. So, my grandmother left me various things in her will. To date I have received only one of them, which I have treasured and looked after for years. That’s why I’m so excited about the dresses.

The one I am particularly sore about is her engagement ring. It’s a diamond trilogy ring. I love it. I love it not because of what it is, but because of what it represents. She always promised it to me, and we were incredibly close (armchair psychologists, this is where you raise an eyebrow and look thoughtfully over the top of your glasses whilst going hmmm) not least because, when I was under a year old, my mother went into hospital to have my brother three months early. They managed to stop labour, but my mother stayed in hospital for nearly four months. I was only allowed to see her once a week, and got so upset at leaving her, that they decided it was best for me not to see her. My grandma moved in to look after me, and effectually became my second mum. I didn’t see my actual mum for nearly 3 months, and then she came home with a new born who needed all the usual attention. And Granny moved out again. When I was 8, she moved in with us and stayed with us until she died. I was the one who found her, when I was 13.

Any wonder I have deep seated issues?! Anyway. Back to the diamond story. She left me the ring. However, my mother has never handed it over. She wears it. I could understand not getting it til I was 21, 25, or 30 …nothing (she gave me half a dozen duck eggs for my 30th present, by the way), but then when my wedding day passed (and no, she didn’t hand it over for him to use as an engagement ring) and then my 40th…well, I’ve pretty much given up hope of getting it.

It was in a letter my grandmother left, not her actual will, and I’ve no idea where the letter is, or if she even still has it.

I have already told my brother that the ring is literally the only thing I will want when the time comes, as I can see her leaving it to my SIL just to spite me.

So, if you’re looking for a reason why I was fucked up enough to marry a loser like Geller, I think my therapist pretty much nailed it with the comment ‘do you think the way your mother replaced you with your brother might have something to do with your competitive relationship with him?’

As you were folks. I’m opening the gin and lighting the fire.

OP posts:
StuckInPollyannaMode · 14/02/2022 18:21

OH! AND! Remember FWB?

He messaged last night, clearly looking to get his end away. I sent him packing, nicely of course. It’s been a year since all that canter started, can you believe?

OP posts:
Tomeeornottomee · 14/02/2022 19:13

💐💐💐🧁🧁🧁

Fooshufflewickjbannanapants · 14/02/2022 19:19

💕🌺🌺🌸💐 there you go! My other half and one of my kids has covid at the moment so are self isolating together and feeling pretty rubbish, so no valentines for me either but running up and down delivering meals and meds 🙄

Sunbird24 · 14/02/2022 19:37

CakeFlowers
GinBrew

Wasn’t sure if alcohol was recommended so have given you a choice!

comfortablyfrumpy · 14/02/2022 19:50

Oh Polly, I hope you are better soon.
Not dure if gin is medicinal or not, but it might help Gin.

I am sure Westley will more than make up for it once he is back and you are better.

Just think, even with Covid and no Westley, it could have been far worse you could have been spending this evening with Gellar! Shock

RainingYetAgain · 14/02/2022 19:57

Ooooh- will DD1 and your illnesses ruin Gellar's w/e with PM? Wink Or have I got the weeks wrong?

AcrossthePond55 · 14/02/2022 20:29

Oh, that's too bad!

Remember that when one is ill all your defenses are low. So anything (even little things) that have been niggling at you are going to now appear huge and all-important. So if you can, it's best to pack Westley and everything else away for another day when you're feeling better. Try to distract yourself with TV, Netflix, books, anything. The more 'mindless' the better.

There will be other Valentine's Days.

ShowMeTheSugar · 14/02/2022 20:36

Oh no! Hope you feel better soon. I'm sure Westley will more than make up for it when he can.

For now though, get yourself in bed abd rested with plenty of fluids. Find a book or TV show to distract yourself and spend a Valentines day doing what's best for you. Flowers

pointythings · 14/02/2022 21:49

Oh Polly that sucks massively! Let's hope you get a chance for a do-over, bit like an un-birthday. This Omicron is a sneaky bitch, it got DD2 a week ago so that she was isolating on her 19th birthday away at uni.

Definitely concentrate on getting better, indulge in crappy Netflix and take time for you.

crikeycrumbsblimey · 14/02/2022 22:33

Oh Polly - my boy just tested negative and waiting for the inevitable. Annoyingly his results were back at 8pm and two hours later still waiting...

Take it from someone who has had it before - tonnes of water. It was like a massive hangover.

LostMyLastHatfulOfWords · 14/02/2022 23:39

Flowers Happy Valentines!
(Sorry you are ill.)

Justilou1 · 15/02/2022 06:06

Oh Babycakes, what an awful Vday present! Maybe W has a nice surprise in mind for when you catch up next? (Hope so…) I do hope you recouperate very quickly. X

Mix56 · 15/02/2022 09:44

Hope you are feeling a little improved today....

RandomMess · 15/02/2022 11:11

Hope you are starting to improve. Don't rush back to work or having the Dollies better to take your time and get properly better.

Although I wasn't particularly unwell at the time looking back I can see it took about 6 weeks to get past the post viral fatigue.

Thanks
ChristmasPlanning · 15/02/2022 15:13

I really struggled with COVID last month. Even "mild" ie no medical treatment required made me feel horrendous and very teary as I felt so sorry for myself. DH & I also had the DC at home with us which made it even harder. I recommend sleep and rest as much as you can. Stay hydrated. Thanks

ItWasAgathaAllAlong · 15/02/2022 15:52

Hope you're not feeling too bad @StuckInPollyannaMode. I had Covid last month, first time, and while many of the symptoms were no worse than a 'bad cold', it still wasn't like any illness I've ever had before.

The worst thing was the brain fog and tiredness. I initally thought, "yippee, I've got a week off work to do stuff at home", but by Day 2 I was just a heap on the sofa, looking at my house thinking, "what was it I was going to do...?? Confused. Then, suddenly, on Day 6 the fog lifted and it was like night and day. Bizarre.

Oh, and unlike every other lucky so-and-so in my family who got it too, I was still testing positive on Day 10, so no early release for me! Sad

Get well soon - and when you're well, give Geller what for if he annoys you!

HeyUpits2022 · 15/02/2022 20:21

Sorry you're poorly 😔 and also that valentines day was pants. Wishing you a speedy recovery Flowers

BigRedDuck · 16/02/2022 22:38

Wishing you a speedy recovery Polly. X

ShowMeTheSugar · 17/02/2022 08:38

How are you feeling Polly? Hopefully a little better x

Monstertrucks · 17/02/2022 09:24

Hope you are feeling better Polly x

StuckInPollyannaMode · 17/02/2022 11:56

Well, there's a few days I don't care to repeat! Gracious good lord. What a bloody nightmare. I am now on the mend and got the Dollies back last night. I am trapped until Saturday at the earliest, so DD1 is home schooling and I am on the sofa with my feet up tapping away.

I have watched season 2 of Emily in Paris, most of Big Bang (for the second time!), Bridgerton (again, but am now refreshed for the drop of season 2!) and... The Princess Bride!

Westley has been wonderful and super supportive, but still no sign of anything Valentine'sy. And he goes away on Wednesday with work for 3 weeks, and I don't know if I'm going to get to see him. So that sucks.

Do I tell him I'm upset about the lack of Valentines? I am aware of how stupid that sounds. But I am still extremely emotional and tearful. Guess that will hang around for a while.

Geller has, surprisingly, risen to the occasion. He even, when he dropped the Dollies off, handed me a bag with milk and bread and fruit in, in case I needed it!! Then ruined the effect by saying it was for the girls packed lunches (which I'd already told him I had covered).

However, this morning he has plumbed new depths and I feel you will all chortle most satisfactorily at this message. Let us not forget that he is seeing Poor Woman this weekend (I agree she should not be a floozy):

"I might be able to take DD1 to her football match this weekend as I think PW and I are likely to end our relationship because it's all so complicated with me having young children."

I mean. Where to start with that? There's boundary issues, there's the fact that he's talking to his ex wife, there's the fact that he could be completely overdramatising as that is what he does, and then there's the whole red alarm bells of oh LOOK! ONCE AGAIN, something is not his fault! It's the fault of the children this time. Nice. What a shit.

The alternative, which is almost too revolting for me to think about, is that after their last weekend together, she's realised how utterly terrible he is in bed, and is looking for an out. She's got children, she knows what she's doing. But still - why try to have this discussion with your ex wife?!

SHL has FINALLY been in touch. Rather passive aggressive email about not being able to get hold of me, but there we are. We have the papers from his side and I need to comment back to her to say that I'm happy then it's all systems go.

Oh - and you're going to love this. On my house. It's been 3 weeks with no word from the other side. Heard from the estate agent yesterday that they've lost all the paperwork so it needs redoing. Fucks sake. I want to be in by Easter.

I'm tired from typing. Going to have a cup of tea and a biscuit. Even though I've put on half a stone this week - keep checking whether my sense of taste and smell has come back. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it.

Hope everyone else is hale and hearty.

OP posts:
tribpot · 17/02/2022 13:30

Bloody hell. It would be pretty off to be telling the mother of any children that the children were the cause of his relationship failing, but to be telling the mother of his OWN children - words fail.

Glad you are on the mend.

LookItsMeAgain · 17/02/2022 13:34

Oh my word! How you've managed to remain sane around such a doofus is beyond me (that would be Geller, just to clarify).

Such a shame about the house but there is light at the end of the tunnel...which brings to mind - have you managed to offload that grandfather clock yet?

Lastly - I can recommend trying different biscuits (bourbon creams/lemon puffs/custard creams/toffeepops) as a method for testing to see if your sense of taste and smell have returned Wink

FantasticButtocks · 17/02/2022 13:38

"I might be able to take DD1 to her football match this weekend as I think PW and I are likely to end our relationship because it's all so complicated with me having young children."

Would it be too awful to just send him a single thumbs up emoji in response? 👍
Or an 'ok, let me know'
Just like you couldn't give a shit, because er... you couldn't give a shit.

RandomMess · 17/02/2022 13:49

Well he consistently awful and entertaining 🤷🏽‍♀️

Glad you are in the mend.

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