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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The One With The Vintage Dresses From Paris Geller Doesn’t Know About

998 replies

StuckInPollyannaMode · 26/10/2021 17:37

Previous thread here

I’ve lost count of how many threads I’ve had, so I bloody well hope this is the one where he signs!

I think whoever pointed out my mother gave me the dresses out of guilt is right. And don’t worry, I’m not handing them back.

I’m sure you will all enjoy this story. So, my grandmother left me various things in her will. To date I have received only one of them, which I have treasured and looked after for years. That’s why I’m so excited about the dresses.

The one I am particularly sore about is her engagement ring. It’s a diamond trilogy ring. I love it. I love it not because of what it is, but because of what it represents. She always promised it to me, and we were incredibly close (armchair psychologists, this is where you raise an eyebrow and look thoughtfully over the top of your glasses whilst going hmmm) not least because, when I was under a year old, my mother went into hospital to have my brother three months early. They managed to stop labour, but my mother stayed in hospital for nearly four months. I was only allowed to see her once a week, and got so upset at leaving her, that they decided it was best for me not to see her. My grandma moved in to look after me, and effectually became my second mum. I didn’t see my actual mum for nearly 3 months, and then she came home with a new born who needed all the usual attention. And Granny moved out again. When I was 8, she moved in with us and stayed with us until she died. I was the one who found her, when I was 13.

Any wonder I have deep seated issues?! Anyway. Back to the diamond story. She left me the ring. However, my mother has never handed it over. She wears it. I could understand not getting it til I was 21, 25, or 30 …nothing (she gave me half a dozen duck eggs for my 30th present, by the way), but then when my wedding day passed (and no, she didn’t hand it over for him to use as an engagement ring) and then my 40th…well, I’ve pretty much given up hope of getting it.

It was in a letter my grandmother left, not her actual will, and I’ve no idea where the letter is, or if she even still has it.

I have already told my brother that the ring is literally the only thing I will want when the time comes, as I can see her leaving it to my SIL just to spite me.

So, if you’re looking for a reason why I was fucked up enough to marry a loser like Geller, I think my therapist pretty much nailed it with the comment ‘do you think the way your mother replaced you with your brother might have something to do with your competitive relationship with him?’

As you were folks. I’m opening the gin and lighting the fire.

OP posts:
Justilou1 · 08/12/2021 10:28

I wouldn’t put it past him to get them one each and deliver it in person when the DB & Shark are there for extra virtue-signalling.

Justilou1 · 08/12/2021 10:29

And to show @StuckInPollyannaMode* for the bitch she is when she breaks the dollies hearts and tells him to take them back to his house.

Justilou1 · 08/12/2021 10:30

*You’re not a bitch @StuckInPollyannaMode. You know what I’m getting at.

Newestname002 · 09/12/2021 07:25

Hope all's well with you dear @StuckInPollyannaMode! You've had a tough few days so I'm hoping things have calmed down a little and you are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Hopefully there'll be far more positives than negatives in 2022. I think yiu are already on that path. 🌹

Justilou1 · 10/12/2021 09:37

I have been meaning to say that every time I look at this thread’s title, I kind of squint because I actually worked with someone called Paris Geller. (She might have suited your Ex, actually. Pedantic twit or a person!)

Lovewineandchocs · 10/12/2021 09:39

Wasn't that a character from the Gilmore Girls as well? Smile

Justilou1 · 10/12/2021 11:30

I know Paris from GG, but no idea of her last name… Geller is named after Ross. Just googled and Paris’s last name IS Geller! PMSL… (The one I know is closer to Lorelei’s age like me.)

Billybagpuss · 10/12/2021 12:58

@Lovewineandchocs

Wasn't that a character from the Gilmore Girls as well? Smile
That’s why I opened the thread in the first place then spent a very long time readinG through them all, I saw the first thread at the very beginning but have missed almost 2 years
Lovewineandchocs · 10/12/2021 13:26

I know Paris from GG, but no idea of her last name… Geller is named after Ross. Just googled and Paris’s last name IS Geller! PMSL… (The one I know is closer to Lorelei’s age like me.)*

Ha yes I know, a fine namesake as Ross is my least favourite Friends character Smile I had to Google Paris Geller as well because the name sounded so familiar but I wasn't 100% sure. Your previous work colleague sounds a bit like the GG character even if older.

Justilou1 · 11/12/2021 01:36

While she was pedantic, I don’t think she was as competitive like PG. (Thank goodness!) Given that it was a job that required a lot of attention to detail for safety reasons, and a lot of other colleagues younger and blasé, she wasn’t that bad to work with. (Actually quite nice once you cracked the veneer.)

Yearonebesties · 11/12/2021 13:27

So sorry about your family @StuckInPollyannaMode!!

StuckInPollyannaMode · 12/12/2021 07:18

Ooh I have always wanted to watch the Gilmore Girls - is it a sign?!

Hello my loves! What a week. Talk about a rollercoaster. Main thing is, everyone is ok. In a nutshell, my best friend in the village was taken to hospital with Covid having gone rapidly downhill. I’d spoken to her the day before for an hour and she was tired but ok, then went incredibly rapidly downhill. To get a breathless call when she could hardly speak to ask me to look after her husband and children - my god. In a further twist, she is now much better and home and I am going to spend this morning making a lasagne for them. In other health news, my business partner has just had the all clear on a serious issue, so another sigh of relief.

I had a review on the Dollies with the pastoral lead at school, who was such a support last year with everything with DD1. Essentially they are incredibly happy with her progress, she’s like a different child, and they thanked me for all the hard work I had put in with them to making things improve. Zero mention of Geller, notably, in that context. They also offered to support me, which was much appreciated but isn’t needed.

I offered asking price on a house and missed out as it went for £35k over - honestly, this market is insane.

Geller has been a dramatic twit over his booster. He has been Drooping at the school gates. To the point where a mum I don’t know particularly well but really like said to me the other day ‘I don’t know how you stuck it out for so long. I’d have killed him if he just once sighed at me the way he sighs at the Dollies’ 🤣 no puppies as far as I’m aware. I have heard no more about him getting together with my brother and his family, thankfully.

No response from SHL about the paperwork, I’m pissed off. I’ll just sign and be done.

It’s all been going on.

Lovely new chap came back from his 2 week business trip and the reunion was most enjoyable 😄 I am starting to get incredibly excited about our skiing trip. We have spoken about finances and money for it, and I have stated my boundary on a particular thing and he was very reassuring and respectful.

I can’t wait to spend Christmas with him!

Oh, and I’m as stiff as a board. Spent yesterday on a learn to ski day at the snowdome - was brilliant - but oh, I need to get up and into a (second) radox bath! Self medicated with red wine last night whilst on a zoom with friends.

I have started to use email to communicate with my family rather than answer any calls. It’s given me a bit of breathing space this week which was much needed. Will be implementing that as we go into 2022, it just gives me time to consider my response.

OP posts:
StuckInPollyannaMode · 12/12/2021 07:23

Oops pressed post too soon - I know what you meant @Justilou1! And you’ll love the latest from the Shark. Sent my eldest nieces Christmas list through. I checked and nothing on there cost less than £35, which is more than I’m willing to spend. I asked nicely if there was anything else and was told very firmly that the only other item she wants is a leather (MUST BE LEATHER) travel journal.

Which is strange as niece is the least materialistic child ever.

So I have bought her a lovely fabric one. With a lock. To keep her secrets safe 😉

OP posts:
RandomMess · 12/12/2021 09:03

So glad your friend and business partner are both ok, what a worry!!

Yes house prices are insane. Perhaps time to hint that you'll have to ask for money due to his delays making you priced out the market! You have to laugh when it's so transparent to others just how ridiculous Gellar is, it's amazing he's actually doing as much of the parenting he does do as he obviously hates it.

As for the shark- utter snobs and you wonder why you married Gellar!!!

Justilou1 · 12/12/2021 10:10

Bloody SIL sounds horrible @StuckInPollyannaMode. Absolutely do your own thing from now on. I’m so happy that your friend and business partner are okay!
Are you sure your stiffness is entirely down to the skiing? Perhaps two weeks away from NM left you out of practice there too! 🤭🤭🤭 He sounds lovely!!!

RobertsRadio · 12/12/2021 13:57

I agree with trying to get more money out of Gellar due to you being priced out of the area due to his silly shenanigans. Do you think you could scare him into coughing up more by telling him that you are seriously considering moving away to a more affordable area, you know, like Scotland 😉. Do you think that would work with Mr Tighter Than A Duck's Arse?

StuckInPollyannaMode · 12/12/2021 15:42

Oh FFS. Sod the bloody money. He’s just so fucking incompetent. And still trying to twist the screw. Happily wrapping presents and watching Love Actually, having a lovely afternoon and then…

I get this message.

DD1 is hysterical. She’s been on edge constantly. She wants to borrow baubles from yours, but she wants them now. I’m doing my best.

OP posts:
REignbow · 12/12/2021 15:49

What!

Why is this your problem? Does the twit not realise that they sell decorations at multiple places?

harriethoyle · 12/12/2021 15:57

I'd be inclined to block him tbh. The kids can call you if there's a real emergency. Tell him to email [email protected] with non urgent issues...

WoodburnersRUs · 12/12/2021 16:03

He’s an attention seeking, self pitying, useless twat of a father.

mbosnz · 12/12/2021 16:08

Our family motto is 'do your best, and your best will be good enough'.

Gellar is a hellishly prattish exception to the general rule.

His best is not good enough. Go and buy your own goddamned baubles, and make an occasion out of it, to distract your daughter, and pretend like a halfway adequate parent, you absolute imbecile of a man.

Newsflash Gellar. It doesn't matter how much you huff and puff, stamp your foot, cry and shout, Polly isn't going to bail you out.

StuckInPollyannaMode · 12/12/2021 16:32

I haven’t replied. I feel like shit.

She’s suffering because of his utter incompetence.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 12/12/2021 16:50

Actually she is venting her displeasure at his incompetence. Ever more clearly are they recognising he is useless and your are their anchor.

It's not all bad. It's healthy she is show her feelings rather than saving them for yours where they feel safer.

Thanks
DartmoorDoughnut · 12/12/2021 17:19

Don’t feel bad Polly, you’re doing an awesome job Wine hope the radox helps, I’m SO jealous of the skiing, haven’t been in years.

Sorry I’ve not posted much recently, cheering on from the sidelines x

pointythings · 12/12/2021 17:38

I agree with everyone who says that DD1 expressing her displeasure at Geller's useless parenting is healthy. Your DDs are old enough to see which parent is their safe space, which one has their best interests at heart and which one cares for them.

You're still rocking it all.

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