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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The One With The Vintage Dresses From Paris Geller Doesn’t Know About

998 replies

StuckInPollyannaMode · 26/10/2021 17:37

Previous thread here

I’ve lost count of how many threads I’ve had, so I bloody well hope this is the one where he signs!

I think whoever pointed out my mother gave me the dresses out of guilt is right. And don’t worry, I’m not handing them back.

I’m sure you will all enjoy this story. So, my grandmother left me various things in her will. To date I have received only one of them, which I have treasured and looked after for years. That’s why I’m so excited about the dresses.

The one I am particularly sore about is her engagement ring. It’s a diamond trilogy ring. I love it. I love it not because of what it is, but because of what it represents. She always promised it to me, and we were incredibly close (armchair psychologists, this is where you raise an eyebrow and look thoughtfully over the top of your glasses whilst going hmmm) not least because, when I was under a year old, my mother went into hospital to have my brother three months early. They managed to stop labour, but my mother stayed in hospital for nearly four months. I was only allowed to see her once a week, and got so upset at leaving her, that they decided it was best for me not to see her. My grandma moved in to look after me, and effectually became my second mum. I didn’t see my actual mum for nearly 3 months, and then she came home with a new born who needed all the usual attention. And Granny moved out again. When I was 8, she moved in with us and stayed with us until she died. I was the one who found her, when I was 13.

Any wonder I have deep seated issues?! Anyway. Back to the diamond story. She left me the ring. However, my mother has never handed it over. She wears it. I could understand not getting it til I was 21, 25, or 30 …nothing (she gave me half a dozen duck eggs for my 30th present, by the way), but then when my wedding day passed (and no, she didn’t hand it over for him to use as an engagement ring) and then my 40th…well, I’ve pretty much given up hope of getting it.

It was in a letter my grandmother left, not her actual will, and I’ve no idea where the letter is, or if she even still has it.

I have already told my brother that the ring is literally the only thing I will want when the time comes, as I can see her leaving it to my SIL just to spite me.

So, if you’re looking for a reason why I was fucked up enough to marry a loser like Geller, I think my therapist pretty much nailed it with the comment ‘do you think the way your mother replaced you with your brother might have something to do with your competitive relationship with him?’

As you were folks. I’m opening the gin and lighting the fire.

OP posts:
ChristmasPlanning · 26/11/2021 22:27

Congratulations!

Welshgal85 · 26/11/2021 22:31

Congratulations Polly! 🍾 don’t let your parents spoil it, you’ve worked bloody hard and deserve every success and a happy relationship!

DPotter · 26/11/2021 22:37

Congratulations !! - I'll toast you with my glass of red!

'Can he spell ?' really weird...really weird

StuckInPollyannaMode · 26/11/2021 22:43

Oh thank you my darlings. I’m now a bit tipsy so I’ll tell you what he said (and yes, he can spell)

You know what lovely. As much it would be great if they had been gushingly pleased I’ll take that over any kind of ‘too soon’, ‘are you sure’ or other negative comments right now. Xx

Crikey, I am so ridiculously dappy about him.

OP posts:
Welshgal85 · 26/11/2021 22:51

He sounds lovely 🥰

AcrossthePond55 · 26/11/2021 23:09

What a lovely (and level-headed) man he is!

Your parents downplaying your accomplishment (congratulations!!!) is just the shits. But, then again, what else is new. The main thing is that you feel proud 'in yourself' and don't need their approval.

I laughed at wine in a tea cup. Mine was a coffee mug. Told the DC it was 'Mummy's special mug' and no one else could drink from it. Ended up having to buy each of them a 'special mug' so they'd have one, too.

Obviously theirs wasn't for wine/mixed drink.

Mix56 · 27/11/2021 07:12

"Can he spell"

Your reply "Good Lord have you got oncoming Alzheimers ?"

Was it a PA dig that anyone who chose to go out with you was stupid?

Today you can drink neat Gin out of your water glass...

DartmoorDoughnut · 27/11/2021 08:28

Congratulations Polly WineBrewWink

Pashazade · 27/11/2021 08:33

Brilliant Polly well done you! Can he spell? Wow that's a weird response, but as he said not overly negative, the mind boggles. Keep your cup topped up and if you need to grey rock the weekend away!

Starbonnet123 · 27/11/2021 08:36

Congratulations @StuckInPollyannaMode all your hard work is paying off . Sorry about the lack of interest from your mum but I suppose that's to be expected from her .
Carry on living your life you're doing so amazingly well I remember willing you on this time last year .
"Can he spell " lol 😂 mad as a box of frogs .

GrumpyLivesInMyHouseNow · 27/11/2021 09:06

'Can he spell' ffs! Honestly I think I'd have laughed and said exactly what you've just said in your post.

Sunbird24 · 27/11/2021 09:17

If I was feeling incredibly magnanimous I might wonder if that was a comment on Gellar’s spelling abilities…
It probably doesn’t completely make up for ignorance and general crapness from your parents, but Mr NM and the Dollies and all of us on here clearly think you’re amazing and are very proud of you!

WitchDancer · 27/11/2021 09:28

How lovely is Mr NM! Wise words for sure Thanks

HoldmecloseTonyDanza · 27/11/2021 09:44

Congratulations Polly, great achievement!

rainbowstardrops · 27/11/2021 10:20

I don't mean to sound rude @StuckInPollyannaMode but bloody hell, your DM and DB sound awful!
Can he spell??? I mean, WTF!!!!

prettybird · 27/11/2021 10:41

Congratulations Polly on getting your accreditation Thanks - and on having such a lovely level headed new man in your life Thanks with many positive attributes as well as being able to spell Wink

RobertsRadio · 27/11/2021 10:41

Congratulations Polly, what a fantastic achievement at the end of your tumultuous year. I have no words for your parents, I wonder if they are jealous of your achievements and your mother's comment is bizarre.

Justilou1 · 27/11/2021 11:31

@StuckInPollyannaMode - you missed a golden opportunity to brag about Mr New man being a “very Cunning Linguist actually, Mother.”
😉😉😉
Meanwhile, I do wonder if your absolute haemorrhoid of a mother can spell “accreditation” herself. Not entirely sure she knows what it means.

Lunde · 27/11/2021 13:56

Congratulations! WineWineWine

Can he spell? . WTF Confused

comfortablyfrumpy · 27/11/2021 16:00

Massive congratulations Polly! That's fantastic news, well done.

Your mother - WTAF!!!
Could a suitable response have been "Yes, and so can I. It's F.U.C.K O.F.F. "

That really is the weirdest remark she could possibly have made but at least you know YANBU Grin Grin.

New man sounds wonderful.

storminateacupagain · 27/11/2021 16:27

Congratulations Polly from a long termlurker

New man-- he sounds a keeper Grin

MzHz · 27/11/2021 17:58

Well Polly, you’ve taken out part of the trash… time to declutter your life a bit more

Who the fuck wouldn’t be pleased for you being happy after all this?

Oh silly me, arsehole parents just like mine - I tell them nothing now, nothing at all. Have pretty much zero contact with them

My life is immeasurably better without them.

Huge congratulations on your accreditation! You absolutely rock!

GinIronic · 27/11/2021 20:25

Is your “DM” asking if he is a wizard? Wink

Congratulations by the way. Well deserved.

LookItsMeAgain · 27/11/2021 20:33

Why didn't you ask "Mum what are you shiteing on about now? Why are you asking if he can spell and what relevance does that have on my celebration of my accreditation?"

She is bonkers!

Congratulations by the way. Hope the champers was lovely!

Theluggagerules · 27/11/2021 20:58

Congratulations, on the accreditation and the lovely boyfriend. Not on the crazy family who you didn't choose and therefore no longer need to humour