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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The One With The Vintage Dresses From Paris Geller Doesn’t Know About

998 replies

StuckInPollyannaMode · 26/10/2021 17:37

Previous thread here

I’ve lost count of how many threads I’ve had, so I bloody well hope this is the one where he signs!

I think whoever pointed out my mother gave me the dresses out of guilt is right. And don’t worry, I’m not handing them back.

I’m sure you will all enjoy this story. So, my grandmother left me various things in her will. To date I have received only one of them, which I have treasured and looked after for years. That’s why I’m so excited about the dresses.

The one I am particularly sore about is her engagement ring. It’s a diamond trilogy ring. I love it. I love it not because of what it is, but because of what it represents. She always promised it to me, and we were incredibly close (armchair psychologists, this is where you raise an eyebrow and look thoughtfully over the top of your glasses whilst going hmmm) not least because, when I was under a year old, my mother went into hospital to have my brother three months early. They managed to stop labour, but my mother stayed in hospital for nearly four months. I was only allowed to see her once a week, and got so upset at leaving her, that they decided it was best for me not to see her. My grandma moved in to look after me, and effectually became my second mum. I didn’t see my actual mum for nearly 3 months, and then she came home with a new born who needed all the usual attention. And Granny moved out again. When I was 8, she moved in with us and stayed with us until she died. I was the one who found her, when I was 13.

Any wonder I have deep seated issues?! Anyway. Back to the diamond story. She left me the ring. However, my mother has never handed it over. She wears it. I could understand not getting it til I was 21, 25, or 30 …nothing (she gave me half a dozen duck eggs for my 30th present, by the way), but then when my wedding day passed (and no, she didn’t hand it over for him to use as an engagement ring) and then my 40th…well, I’ve pretty much given up hope of getting it.

It was in a letter my grandmother left, not her actual will, and I’ve no idea where the letter is, or if she even still has it.

I have already told my brother that the ring is literally the only thing I will want when the time comes, as I can see her leaving it to my SIL just to spite me.

So, if you’re looking for a reason why I was fucked up enough to marry a loser like Geller, I think my therapist pretty much nailed it with the comment ‘do you think the way your mother replaced you with your brother might have something to do with your competitive relationship with him?’

As you were folks. I’m opening the gin and lighting the fire.

OP posts:
Theluggagerules · 22/11/2021 06:46

Oh I love a passive aggressive gift! Well played Polly

Pashazade · 22/11/2021 08:16

Oh nicely done!
I sat and watched Jungle Cruise on Disney which is very daft (are we still allowed to stereotype Germans that badly! 🤣🤣) but passes some time. I shall investigate the DJ/RR on Netflix I'd been debating it.....

pointythings · 22/11/2021 08:23

That is indeed a masterstroke, well played!

I am currently watching the last few seasons of Lucifer and watching Bones on Disney+, but Red Notice did catch my eye so it's on the list for next weekend.

comfortablyfrumpy · 22/11/2021 10:21

Love it, Polly! PA present buying at its finest Grin

MzHz · 22/11/2021 12:57

We need to make Polly a Dame at the very least for that gift! That’s outstanding!

P1ainJanine · 22/11/2021 15:21

I was going to suggest a present for "D"B and SIL which was obviously cheap and tasteless, accompanied by a card saying "Thanks for all your support over the last year", but I'm not given to subtelty. I love the doormat. ;-D

Mix56 · 22/11/2021 15:59

a doormat hahahahahahaha, Majestic !
Let her seeth !

HoseMeDownWithHolyWater · 22/11/2021 16:23

I need to get my best friend that card!

Sunbird24 · 22/11/2021 23:17

I’ve watched Red Notice, it’s quite silly but I rather enjoyed it!

AcrossthePond55 · 22/11/2021 23:49

Doormat!!!

I suggest you write on the card "Here is a new doormat since you've 'worn out' your last one".

Justilou1 · 23/11/2021 10:41

Oh my @StuckInPollyannaMode… !when you get the boot in, you do it well! Talk about the last word! I bow to your mastery!!!

BrightYellowDaffodil · 23/11/2021 13:40

That is a genius Christmas present!

AgentCustard · 23/11/2021 16:35

Just left Lurkville and joined Mumsnet. I’ve followed most of your threads - you are doing so well. Wanted to echo the supporters and say keep going Polly!

redastherose · 24/11/2021 01:06

Brilliant, I'm off to look at passive aggressive doormats now 😂

Homebird8 · 24/11/2021 06:23

I have a doormat that says, “I’m not your doormat” on it. Buy that one for yourself and place it at the threshold and simply don’t comment as they come in.

RobertsRadio · 24/11/2021 09:34

@Homebird8

I have a doormat that says, “I’m not your doormat” on it. Buy that one for yourself and place it at the threshold and simply don’t comment as they come in.
😃😃
Justilou1 · 24/11/2021 10:38

You also need to watch Hogan’s Heroes too @StuckInPollyannaMode… I have now assigned faces and voices to Gellar and your DB. Also your Mum (I’m sorry that’s very disrespectful. I know that you are still living through this. I grew up with people like this too. I think humour is ultimately the only way to survive. It’s probably HOW you managed, tbh. I have a theory that it’s a way of making the unbearable, bearable… Also it’s a type of innate intelligence that can never be taught. It comes through observation and survival.)

LadyDanburysHat · 24/11/2021 11:26

Love the doormat!

HeyupitsChristmas · 24/11/2021 11:40

How are you feeling about catching up with your parents at the weekend?

I am not surprised that Geller is buying them gifts - he's reinforcing his "position" which is to say:

"[eye roll] I don't see why just because Polly is being unreasonable we can't remain on civilised terms"

He's being disingenuous to say the least.

Justilou1 · 24/11/2021 22:29

Wondering if Geller’s new GF was roped into buying presents for @StuckInPollyannaMode’s extended family… that would be fun for her. 😝

StuckInPollyannaMode · 26/11/2021 21:23

My darlings!

I did it! I bloody did it! I got my accreditation.

2 years and I can go for my chartership

So my parents arrived tonight and I opened the Veuve Cliquot and told them. They had no idea I was going for it.

Not entirely sure why I bother.

Just think how much further along I would have been in my career if I’d got that a few years ago 🤦‍♀️

So I decided to capitalise on my professional news and tell them I’ve met someone and we’re having a lovely time.

Zero interest.

My mother asked one question.

Can he spell?

(Err - yes?!)

No, I’ve no idea either.

Fucking give up.

So no, I’m not looking forward to the rest of the weekend. Currently drinking wine out of a tea cup so they don’t have a go about the fact I’m having a second glass of wine. Watching the Princes and the Media programme. Waiting til I can go to bed.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 26/11/2021 21:28

There are no words really, stop bothering them?

Congratulations on your accreditation I hope Gellar fumes like Fenella in Chorlton and the Wheelies

Mix56 · 26/11/2021 21:39

Bloody well done Polly.
Sorry your Mother/both is such a Killjoy . Does she take lessons in being a bitch ?
Honestly, who could beat her ?

pointythings · 26/11/2021 21:50

Bloody well done, Polly. You're going to leave Geller and everyone else in your dust!

Your parents are a lost cause - go out there and choose yourself a whole new family.

And on a completely unrelated subject I watched Red Notice tonight and thoroughly enjoyed it, also yy to Hogan's Heroes.

WitchDancer · 26/11/2021 22:17

Congratulations!

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