Dating thread 214 - the no rules one!

[BelladiMamma]

Here are the only rules what matter!

As for anything else OLD not listed here - make your own ❤️

@Isitreallyme177 🎉🙂😘😘😘

...and I'm not into the FWB thing either. It just isn't for me. Like @Isitreallyme177 says, if I sleep with someone, I'd like that to mean there's feelings there, and it's not just a sexual thing.

I totally understand why it works for some people though ❤️

@JustAnother0ldMan If someone is in a relationship and has a FWB then they're either cheating/poly/open marriage.

FWB is an agreement about sex only with friendship thrown in the mix, some are exclusive FWB. I always had more then one at a time, everyone knew we were not exclusive and could see others.

It works for some and not others.
I'd definitely do it again if/when me and Mr K go tits up.

if I like someone enough to sleep with them regularly then I like them enough to have a proper relationship with them. But that's me, everyone is different

Pragmatically I can’t !
I have a son with mental health problems , a son impacted by it , a poorly mother and a ft job

So maybe I’m selling myself short but I’d be the worse girlfriend ever ! I’d see them every 3 weeks
So if some nice fellow is looking for a woman to settle down with , that’s not me in all fairness

What I like about this thread is the knowledge and experience we all bring and how we're all very open about what we are looking for.

Nobody is more right than anyone else.

You do you, I'll do me.

@Shayelle2009 I think i complicated things with the sex bit but I just decided to just go with it at the time. But we had a chat beforehand and he seems keen to do more normal out of bed stuff so going for dinner next week. As to whether I like him, the jury's out as he's quite hard to read. He's very chilled and spiritual which I like.

Thank you @Shayelle2009, @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards and @Thisisworsethananticpated although it could just be friends going to the cinema but I get to see Bond so... 🤷‍♀️

@Eesha that sounds promising. Chilled is always good.

@Isitreallyme177

Thank you *@Shayelle2009, @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards and @Thisisworsethananticpated* although it could just be friends going to the cinema but I get to see Bond so... 🤷‍♀️

@Eesha that sounds promising. Chilled is always good.

@Isitreallyme177 you're welcome ☺️ just enjoy it and take it for what it is ❤️

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards How's the course going?

I was going to ask if you get the impression it's a platonic thing or not @Isitreallyme177 it's lovely that he's asked you out though!
@SortingItOut you don't seem satisfied with the outcome of your chat with Mr K and I'm not surprised. It's a bit unreasonable to never make a plan for a Saturday at all, I'd think?
Good to hear you sounding brighter @BelladiMamma the news shook me up too.
Welcome back @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

[quote Isitreallyme177]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards How's the course going?[/quote]
@Isitreallyme177 it's going well thank you 😊 just working on my first assignment ❤️

@Heartbeats0708

I was going to ask if you get the impression it's a platonic thing or not *@Isitreallyme177* it's lovely that he's asked you out though! *@SortingItOut* you don't seem satisfied with the outcome of your chat with Mr K and I'm not surprised. It's a bit unreasonable to never make a plan for a Saturday at all, I'd think? Good to hear you sounding brighter *@BelladiMamma* the news shook me up too. Welcome back *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards*

@Heartbeats0708 thank you 🙂❤️

I've seen MrTree again and we had a lovely meal and he made lots of effort then we dtd which I wasn't disappointed with.
We haven't seen each other since due to work commitments but we have a coffee date planned this week.

There are a few red flags- mainly the reasons he split with his wife- he just got home from work one day to find her and the children gone and the house empty. As such he hasn't seen his children in 14 months but is going through court (I've seen the paperwork) so is fighting for them, just delayed because of covid. My biggest red flag is what drives a woman to uproot her life so suddenly and stop access? Seems extreme to me. I have definitely got my eyes wide open on that front.
Other amber flags are that he comes across as a bit of a rebel in many senses, I can't really explain without it being outing but on the plus side he has a good job etc.

I'm such an over thinker, I think I just need to relax a bit and see where it goes.

@anniewilkes21 has MrTree given any insights into why he thinks his wife might have done that? As you say it does sound extreme.

@Heartbeats0708 thank you. I don't know but it was nice he asked(he could have gone with anyone but asked me). I wanted to see it and was gearing up to go on my own. I liked the fact he wanted to show me the details of his new house too (it has a wood burner, I'm jealous) it also explains the radio silence if he was busy doing all that.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards glad that course is going well, enjoy it.

@SortingItOut that’s what I like about it too. And of course what you might want often changes over time .. that’s what I’ve found with myself.

@Eesha it’s early days isn’t it, give yourself a few days to see how you feel, he sounds like nice company 🙂

@anniewilkes21 hearing that would be a red flag for me as well.. be wary..

Yeah that would be a massive red flag for me, Computer Geek hurt his ex so much but she never stopped him seeing the kids. I can't imagine why someone would uproot children like that.

@anniewilkes21 that would be a huge red flag for me. My ex's ex wife said she was going to stay at her mums after a row but turns out she had already bought uniforms and transferred the children to a new school. Clearly she was terrified of my ex's reaction so planned it all in secret. Obviously I didn't know all this but its made me think red flags when I hear stories of a similar kind. No contact for 14 months?....be careful.

@Shayelle2009 yes he's a decent guy but hard to gauge. All I can say is he's very keen to continue and spend time together so it's refreshing. I have sat on my hands a bit with regards to texting so I can observe how he behaves and he seems to be proactive and keen to arrange more. We are both busy, him with work and me with kids and work but we are local and it's just nice hanging out/no pressure.

[quote Isitreallyme177]@Heartbeats0708 thank you. I don't know but it was nice he asked(he could have gone with anyone but asked me). I wanted to see it and was gearing up to go on my own. I liked the fact he wanted to show me the details of his new house too (it has a wood burner, I'm jealous) it also explains the radio silence if he was busy doing all that.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards glad that course is going well, enjoy it.[/quote]
@Isitreallyme177 thank you 😊 I will do ❤️

@anniewilkes21 i would be careful too. I once matched and chatted with a guy who, it turned out, had four children that he apparently didn't see 'until the courts allowed him to.' Suffice to say, I backed off quite swiftly after that. ❤️

@anniewilkes21 never call yourself an over thinker. You're just doing what you need to do to protect yourself.

@isitreallyme177 whatever MrCricket and you mean to each other, and I'm whatever direction it's going, a night out at the Bond film 🎥 is going to be fun!

@Eesha how nice that he's local so it can stay low stress.

I'm back to flirting at a distance mode with all the various irons. We've got

MrActor - I flaked on today but we're having a laugh together on voice notes and video calls

MrItaly - messaging and calling a lot. Being very supportive and a great person to bounce ideas off

MrTattoo - still very nice interaction but haven't seen him for 2 weeks. Will likely fizzle out if he doesn't get his act together to organise something

MrJoe - very very sweet iron but too young and too sweet. Not going to be the one to finish things, I think it probably won't happen as he has flake vibes

MrA - very keen and wanted to meet tonight but got his timing messed up so I just left him to it

MrSnowD - arranging a date zero but childcare means won't happen for 2/3 weeks

I had another one who made me feel uncomfortable as he started asking why my marriage didn't work out (that's no ones business but mine and my ex's) .

I would feel the same. How do people handle questions like that? If people want to put a relationship behind them, what is to be gained by asking someone to re-traumatise themselves (if it was that way).

Just watching this and would recommend

Seeing Mr Scot tomorrow and planning a chat about needing exclusivity. Not bothered if that's too soon, it's what I need and am worth.