Dating thread 214 - the no rules one!

[BelladiMamma]

Here are the only rules what matter!

As for anything else OLD not listed here - make your own ❤️

Happy birthday @Slothmomma 🍾🎂🥳

Happy birthday to you @Slothmomma

What a lovely thing to do 🥰

Happy Birthday @Slothmomma!

So i think MrE finally got the message after a few more text exchanges. He hasn't been in contact now since the weekend. I've blocked him on all numbers i have. And do feel really relived.

Seems that at the moment so many men seem to be giving mixed signals. Super keen at the beginning only to fizzle out/change their minds when you think things are finally going somewhere. I'm realising the whole FWB scenario is very hard to navigate. I don't know if there is any 'easy' solution on how to both stay on the same page. I'm not entertaining anyone at the moment other than magnet-man. Doubt i'd be able to handle any app-action at the moment.

Happy birthday @Slothmomma, hope you're having a lovely day

Happy birthday @Slothmomma

@Misty9

a possible boundary to set with MrScot is staying in touch and going out on dates but not have sleepovers or physical intimacy?

be nice but get on with other areas of your life.

I always think “casual is a two-way street” - don’t make someone your priority if they’re still “keeping their options open”

Happy birthday @Slothmomma - have a lovely chocolatey, flowery day!

@Misty9 I couldn't carry on with someone who was carrying on with everyone. If I'm having sex with someone, I have to be the only one they're doing that with. Equally with an emotional connection. But listen to your gut, that will tell you what you're comfortable with.

So I had a voice message from Mr Gardener this morning. He's the one who in our second phone call, having been lovely and chatty, suddenly asked about my emotional stability, spoke badly about his ex and then ended the conversation when I called him out on it. This was Tuesday. So he left a message saying he owed me "a debt of gratitude", he had felt extremely uncomfortable after our conversation because he realised how he had come across and that's not who he really is - he wasn't feeling well and he was stressed and he totally agreed with everything I said. "You nailed it" were his words - "I agree with everything you said" - which was pretty much that you can't talk about other people they way he talked about his ex and there's two sides to every story and how could I know he's not the crazy one?! So thank you and sorry, basically, from him, and it would be lovely if I wanted to carry on chatting, but if I don't he understands and wishes me well. The message was quite chilled, not creepy, and he's still got a cold so his voice was quite sexy...

So I've decided to downgrade his red flag to amber. I would like to meet him but will watch his behaviour like a hawk, and if he says or does anything that makes me feel even slightly uncomfortable I'm out - my boundaries are pretty strong, which may be why I don't go on many dates. But I know I have behaved or spoken out of character in the past so I do think he's allowed one error of judgement. I will call him tomorrow, as I have a social engagement tonight and a walk tomorrow so I am uncharacteristically busy!

@Slothmomma happy birthday!! Hope you have a wonderful day!

How's everyone's weekend looking. I'm still bunged up. Was meant to go for dinner but my friend is feeling low so doesn't want to go anywhere mildly dressed up (she's always a real glamour puss) even to the supermarket, which is a shame as I really wanted to go for dinner. Tomorrow I'm going to beautify myself and go for dinner with Mr Retro (also Italian btw!) but I'm just conscious I'm so unsecured with my cold! Waaaaaaah....! Its not so terrible that I can't go out but certainly not a staying overnight thing. Sniff.

unsecured = unsexy I mean

@Slothmomma happy birthday!! Have av great day.. your guy sounds lovely.

@Eesha sorry your friend doesn't want to go out... its disappointing when you got yourself excited for a night out.

Good luck all of those with dates this weekend.

@Eesha my friend cancelled our meal tonight too. I know I was watching the pennies but it would have been nice to go out and have a catch up. I've got no plans this weekend, have a boxing class tomorrow, can't go for my usual Sunday morning walk as the park is closed as its Deer Rutting season. So my weekend is looking really quiet.

Well. 4 offers of date zero's this weekend but I have limited child free time so the winner is ... MrActor from Feeld. He's only in my part of the world til mid December so even if we go beyond one date that's all we are going to have together. Perfect. Let's me have a break and concentrate on the kids and my parents over Christmas.

Crossing fingers I fancy him because I'm totally up for a short fling.

I'll have to do a loo update when I go to meet him 😜

@Isitreallyme177 You and me both! It's a bit silly as she wants to come to mine and grab something cheap but I have even said I will pay. She just doesn't want to leave my house. I could have easily met someone else but now stuck at home on a child free house! ARGHHH. Hopefully I'll change her mind!

Thank you all for the lovely birthday messages 😍

I'm out tonight for a meal with the kids and then have a meal booked tomorrow night with Mr Mason 😊

@BelladiMamma looking forward to your loo update

@BelladiMamma exciting, hope he’s cute!

Good luck changing her mind @Eesha I'm stuck at home on my own as she can't change her mind as the lady she looks after is unwell. May have to drink beer on my tod. Shame Mr Cricket hasn't moved yet🤣(although he is working tomorrow so wouldn't be able to join me anyway).

Thanks all
@WeWantTheFinestWines, yes ‘slim pickings’, indeed, (sounds like an anorexic C&W singer), here in the sticks.

@Eesha
I think its a city thing as I'm in London and could probably have a date every day if i wasn't fussed. In fact both my best friend and ex went on between 1 to 3 dates per week for 5 years!

I think I’ve barely had 5 dates in the last 5 years, let alone in the last week, what have I doing with my life recently 😂😂

I read about all you ladies have nights of passionate sex and it makes me dead jealous, oh well will just have to buy a new Ducati instead 🏍

But,
I think I do procrastinate too much and should really strike while the iron(s) are at least Luke warm.

@Isitreallyme177

Good luck changing her mind *@Eesha* I'm stuck at home on my own as she can't change her mind as the lady she looks after is unwell. May have to drink beer on my tod. Shame Mr Cricket hasn't moved yet🤣(although he is working tomorrow so wouldn't be able to join me anyway).

Drinking 🍺 , now that’s my kinda girl, where can I find one of those?

@JustAnother0ldMan

I think if you are after more meets, the trick is to get in there quite quickly (not saying this actually is something you WANT to do if your emotions and schedule can't sustain it!).

So rather than wait till you feel you've "built a virtual connection" just check out the basics, no red flags, and then say something like "would be great to discuss this over a coffee some time". Think of it as meeting a new person, not asking on a "date".

I'm normally a fast meeter, but my feeling is if someone is stringing out chats for ages they are never going to intend to seriously meet, or just aren't into your profile and want a penpal.

@JustAnother0ldMan you can find her out in the sticks too 😆

@Slothmomma happy birthday, I hope you have had a lovely day

My first week back at work after my holiday couldnt have gone any worse. Hardly any of my colleagues looked after the work I had asked them to and rose who had half arsed the work and left it in such a mess that it took 2 days to figure out. This week I have had to do 2 weeks of work for a client in 2 days and attend to important queries from other clients.
There were many tears yesterday from being so frustrated and overwhelmed.
@SortingItOut has been lovely reading all my moaning text this week and offering words of advice plus getting annoyed at colleagues on my behalf

@Dancerinthemoonlight

Other people are hell sometimes!

Happy birthday @Slothmomma

Argh, I am literally sitting on my hands not to contact Mr Scot... 😩

@Misty9

Thanks all. I honestly don't think he's having sex with anyone else - yet - and he's being so up front about everything that I do believe he'd tell me. He definitely isn't telling me about the dates to boast or get me to step up either - he's hurting and raw and just on a hedonistic autopilot I think. He said he didn't expect to meet someone he likes so much straight away and it scares him. There's so much I like about him, not least his honesty! But I'm a bit of an anxious mess and it's affecting the rest of my life. That said, I'm also like this at the start of anything as it triggers all my childhood buttons... I'll step back a bit I think.

@Misty9 I think he has told you where he's at and if he's fresh out of a not great relationship I can understand his reluctance to stop playing the field.

It sounds like he's still feeling very raw, and just doesn't have the bandwidth to be exclusive.

Sounds like a case of right person, wrong time. So frustrating!

I would step back, but only you know whether you can be OK with this.