Dating thread 214 - the no rules one!

[BelladiMamma]

Here are the only rules what matter!

As for anything else OLD not listed here - make your own ❤️

Yy to the "quiet days" @BelladiMamma

It's so easy to get addicted to the rush of the swipe (writing for myself first here)

And after I've sobered up from the drink and the good date zero, am reminding myself to "stick to my original plan" when back on the apps.

Ie ONLY go for guys I feel I really really want to date and not just fill up my calendar for the sake of it.

And just go for "nice guys" who have good manners and aren't too looks and money orientated and clearly pushing for "what they can get". Sounds old-fashioned but "similar values and lifestyle" seems important if I'm looking for someone steady.

So MrHedgehog is good, he knows I'm up for a 2nd and is in Berlin so I'll let that settle through a bit.

No other contacts I'm really excited about, have a nice creative designer guy on contact who has just done the "happy to show you around the new city" thing so will keep him on too.

I’ve still not gone back on tinder! Just can’t bring myself to despite reading everyone’s good little updates lately.

@VanGoghsDog I had completely forgotten about periods and how they can really get in the way of fun. Oh the joys of being post-menopausal. Or menopausal. Don't really know when it goes from one to the other.

Either way, I'm really glad you get on so well with Mr Cricket @Isitreallyme177, it does sound like a lovely easy friendship and who knows what could happen down the line. I'm going to stop giving you grief about investing in him and instead just be happy for you as you seem to enjoy his company a lot and it sounds like the feeling is mutual.

@Shayelle2009

Yes, there's often that sense of something a bit weird around the corner?

I wouldn't say the apps have improved (eg: surgeon and banker = pushy desperate slaggy guys straight away, and loads of great looking matches but no chat) but I'm just feeling "brave enough" to have a go.

Eg MrHedgehog seemed nice last night, but also mindful it was only a date zero and there could be pitfalls later on (or just fizzle out).

There "may" have been a messy break-up recently so I'm mindful of what happened there and if he's still enmeshed with an ex as he mentioned a joint house etc.

haha @Naimee87 you'll have to interpret for me!

at being bilingual, we have a talented lot on this thread.

@WeWantTheFinestWines advice is always taken on board. He thanked me for going to the cinema with him last night, like who would say no to a bit of James Bond. He's also been put on spider catcher alert when he moves, I warned him last night 🤣.

[quote Naimee87]@woah your life is like a film!... you must have the most amazing ' juggling/multi-tasking ability'
@SpringlikeBunk i didn't realise you were meeting the Deutscher! Sounds like it went really well. Tell him you have the 'schmetterling' feeling! Which is butterfly's! And maybe 'Freue mich sehr auf das nächstes mal mit dir' (und würde sehr gerne mit dir kuscheln und vielleicht eventuell landen wir zusammen in deinem oder in meinem Bett, wer weiss!) [/quote]
That's such a cute message auf Deutsch

@SpringlikeBunk

haha *@Naimee87* you'll have to interpret for me!

at being bilingual, we have a talented lot on this thread.

Can I please polish my halo and collect my model European award? Trilingual & working knowledge of 3 other European languages 😇 one French passport too 🤪

However I love my little corner of the world in SE England however over populated and expensive it is 😎

Quiet day: one phone call from MrItaly. I think he's serious about me. Let's see ...

Oooh and MrSardinia just checking in to organise meet number 2 😎🇮🇹😎

Haha @BelladiMamma we have an EU of irons going on here!

@SpringlikeBunk I'd be finding it hard not to feel excited about Mr Hedgehog too. He sounds very lovely.

I'm going to go totally against the grain of the thread and admit I actually quite like spiders and having them around my flat. I do however have a huge phobia of mice, and when I lived in a rather decrepit houseshare in Brixton used to frequently decamp to my then boyfriend's flat if I thought I could hear one.

Glad you had a good night with Mr Cricket @Isitreallyme177 and it sounds like you are on the same page with how you feel about eachother. Enjoy it!

@BelladiMamma once again I am impressed by your incredible dating stamina You have definitely earned a few days off! Hope you're enjoying some pampering me time.

@Misty9

Argh, keep my head from running away... Mr Scot and I have spoken everyday since we matched, but tonight I haven't heard and he hasn't read the message I sent an hour ago. I know he hasn't got his kids so I'm now jumping to the conclusion that he's on a date with someone else... Last night went so well... But I can't help it I know I need to be fine regardless...but am finding it a bit hard this evening and sleep deprivation probably isn't helping.

@Misty9 yes to this! I hope you're feeling a bit better today?

Sleep deprivation totally scrambles your brain ime. Logically, you had a great night together and it's all going to be fine. However, if he is on a date with someone else, you will also be fine.

If it helps to know this: when I walked home from Mr Breadcrumb's place I was saying in my head repeatedly "you cannot be abandoned, you are 49 years old, you have a child, a job and a home, you cannot be abandoned" and it sort of made me feel better?

Feeling vulnerable is shit. I try and let the feelings pass through me rather than resist them or deny them. Sometimes I even say "I feel vulnerable" and it seems to break it down a bit. Then it passes

@Languidleopard

Oh aye I am excited - I think as I’ve been on a real downer about the apps I was dreading getting back on?

So a good first date zero with someone I liked was just the right thing to get my confidence back up.

Of course realistically it may fizzle out so just fingers crossed for a nice second date.

We met at a horrible “city centre pub” for convenience, and have tentatively agreed it would be much nicer to meet somewhere a bit more chilled out and datey for dinner!

I have a video date tonight !
And I was willing my overseas obsession to text me and he did

As he is right now the ONLY person I fancy I take this short texts over nothing !

Ad for spiders
Not a night passes without me having to Hoover them up as my DC are phobic

Sorry spiders

@Thisisworsethananticpated My hoover hasn't been put away since August😔 and is constantly being used.

@Languidleopard we were talking about dinner in the car on the way back and he seems pretty keen (I just hope my cooking doesn't disappoint). If I can keep my anxiety in check then I'll be alright. It's when I start over thinking or get carried away that I start getting anxious, I then start getting clingy and needy.

Now if my insomnia could do one I would be ever so grateful. Another 3am wake up, by the time I had my pt session at 8am it felt like lunchtime.

@SpringlikeBunk I said 'i'm really looking forward to the next time we can meet and would can' wait to 'kiss & cuddle with you and maybe eventually end up in your bed or in mine, let's see' perhaps a bit toooo forward but further down the line if you get along with him you can send that and see his reaction.
All the talk about EU irons makes me want to go see magnet-man even more!

can't wait too sorry typed too fast !

@Languidleopard thank you for your lovely post. It's nice to know I'm not the only one! Rather embarrassingly, I do all that managing emotions stuff for a living but when it comes to applying it to myself...well! He did reply and said he had a great time too. I'm still feeling anxious today though and am annoyed with myself for doing so - but allowing it rather than rejecting it is a good idea (and one I recommend all the time!). Hormones plus sleep deprivation probably really aren't helping either. I almost considered messaging him to say I'm feeling a bit rubbish, but decided against it as it could veer into seeking reassurance too easily, and that doesn't work anyway. I really thought I'd have gotten better at some of this by now - I've had enough practice!

@Languidleopard your post was lovely.

Afternoon all. I'm after some advice from those in the know.

I've been single for about 4 years. Done old on and off. More as a distraction than anything else. I'm not looking for anything full on. Just someone to date. Spend time with etc. All very relaxed but I do expect exclusivity.

On that point I've been seeing someone for a few weeks now. So early days I'm very much aware of that. On the same page about dating not looking to blend families etc. Makes plans for future dates. Keeps in touch day to day. All very lovely.

Now this is where I'm feeling a bit meh. He is still on old and I fully appreciate he is free to do as he wishes. It's early days etc. So when should I broach this? Or don't I? Just looking for other peoples experiences/thoughts.

Apparently it's World CP day today ❤️

Tinder is horrendous at the moment. Mind you, Bumble isn't any better. Started a nice chat with someone last week and now it looks like it's fizzled.

So much for being friends with Mr Gambit. I haven't spoken to him since I wished him a happy birthday (it was his birthday last Friday) It's obvious he doesn't care for me as a friend, either.

Oh well ❤️

@unicornsarereal72 you broach it whenever you want to - better to know earlier whether or not you're on the same page as someone. It doesn't have to be a heavy chat or an argument. It's simply something you want to discuss.

'Hey I'm not that keen on coffee but I do love tea. Are you into tea? Cos I'd like us to have tea.' Stupid example but you get the drift.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards have a good one ❤️

@Languidleopard great post. None of us can be abandoned. We are all enough ❤️

[quote BelladiMamma]@unicornsarereal72 you broach it whenever you want to - better to know earlier whether or not you're on the same page as someone. It doesn't have to be a heavy chat or an argument. It's simply something you want to discuss.

'Hey I'm not that keen on coffee but I do love tea. Are you into tea? Cos I'd like us to have tea.' Stupid example but you get the drift.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards have a good one ❤️

@Languidleopard great post. None of us can be abandoned. We are all enough ❤️ [/quote]
@BelladiMamma ❤️😘