Dating thread 214 - the no rules one!

[BelladiMamma]

Here are the only rules what matter!

As for anything else OLD not listed here - make your own ❤️

Interesting to read what you think of Bumble, I was on for a little while (didn’t really give it much of a go ), but I did find it both terrifying have to wait for messages and at the same time oddly empowering that I didn’t have to be the person “making the 1st move “

I have done my Bumble duty for the day grin and worked through all the potatoes.

Hmm, not sure if I’m boiled, mashed or roasted 🤷🏼‍♂️

Morning no update from me, I get the feeling he is working today as WhatsApp says he was last online at some stupid hour. I'm still not sleeping well and was awake at 3am again 😴 so maybe him working today is a good thing as it means I can get an early night. If I could just stop worryin, I might be able to sleep okay.

@Eesha well done on the job 🍾

On the topic of red flags i really ignored a lot of them at the beginning with MrE and it did me no favours what so ever. I think if the 'glimmer' of a good side is just that and you keep hoping to see more of it then it's definitely best to move on. I think i've done this with MrE and with a previous iron who turned out to be a really nasty piece of work. I've run a couple of the 'amber/red' flags on here and always get good replies on how others view them which really helps. It's a fine line between accepting, tolerating and just plain old making excuses for clearly awful behaviour.

@Isitreallyme177 are you not sleeping because you're waiting on a message to come through? This is extremely unhealthy. Are you off the apps? I think it would really benefit you to join some social meet-up groups to get you out there. MrCricket is stealing a lot of your headspace/time and giving you very little in return. I hope not to sound mean but is the happiness you're getting from being in this situation out-weighing the 'worry/wondering' if so then you can totally ignore my post, just wanting to make sure he isn't bringing you down because you really do sound so sweet and someone out there would be lucky to have you!!!

@Isitreallyme177...i think he's being rude not replying.

I know exactly how it feels to be waiting on a message and it's not good.
Maybe message again and just say so you still want to go cinema or not??

@Isitreallyme177 thank you for the wishes.

I hope you take this with the good intentions here but could Mr Cricket have been online late chatting to others and looking for a better offer. He seems to have you where he wants you, ie massaging his ego a lot whereas actually doesn't realise that it's affecting you day to day as you like him a lot. It takes seconds to reply and he could have easily done so whereas you sound like you are making excuses for him rather than looking at all the reasons.

[quote Sugaspunsista]@Isitreallyme177...i think he's being rude not replying.

I know exactly how it feels to be waiting on a message and it's not good.
Maybe message again and just say so you still want to go cinema or not??[/quote]
I would maybe go further now and say 'as I haven't heard from you I've made other plans' or even just go ahead, make the other plans and then if he messages you asking for the same evening as the plans then he knows that you have boundaries and he'll have to up his game. Guys like to take desirable women off the market and he hasn't done that yet so I'd be making my own plans if I were you ❤️

Sorry I meant, women they find desirable

Does he normally reply quickly? Seems a bit rude doesn't it.

Bumble chats livening up which is fine, again no worries if I don't end up even meeting anyone!

@JustAnother0ldMan

In my demographic it seems like a lot of guys don't respond to women's first contact, so I just send a "wave" or a "hi" to see if they want to reply.

I think things are better for me emotionally right now as I'm genuinely busy/out there meeting OTHER new people and the apps aren't "my sole social contact".

Whereas before I was overthinking every iron and almost resenting them for being out there in the world whilst I was stuck wfh!

@Naimee87 I quite like German guys and the language.

We randomly chatted about socks and sandals and his (lack of) humour and he's in a similar field to me so will be worth a coffee if we can make it. he has promised flip flops with socks if we meet, although he's away in Berlin for a week.

Congrats on job news @Eesha

Thanks for all the job well wishes. I had taken a few years out to raise my children so was a bit worried going back into the city again but has worked out!

@Naimee87 no offence taken. I'm not sleeping because I've never slept very well(it goes back to childhood). It just seems worse at the moment, it's spider season and my arachnophobia is through the roof this year, it makes me so stressed and there was a big spider in the bathroom last night which I had to get rid of. I suffer panic attacks when I have to get rid of them too. I'm constantly checking and looking for them and it seems never ending this year.

I've got stuff planned for the end of the month and I've booked on a boxing class on Saturday afternoon. So I'm keeping busy and socialising. I just need spider season over with.

@Sugaspunsista I did send one yesterday but will wait until tomorrow now.

@Eesha he said he wasn't but who knows he could be a good liar I guess.

@BelladiMamma I'm going to get back to my friend today and suggest an evening now anyway. I'm busy Saturday afternoon now too.

@TwatInTinFoil no he doesn't always reply quickly so it isn't unusual to not get a reply straight away.

@Isitreallyme177 yuck spiders, I feel for you! I just think having had date zeros with some quite charismatic men, they tend to know that you are decent and nice so know exactly how to charm. They would continue texting stuff about their lives but looking for someone a bit more exciting I guess! I would get annoyed as I was good enough to chat with but not enough to date. That said, Mr Cricket was the one who asked you to the movie so you never really know. But I would keep my wits about you, he's never going to openly say he's chatting to others as it will put you off/upset you. Let him come to you and make an effort.

Has mr cricket ever back tracked from not being romantically interested a few threads ago?
if he’s never backtracked, he could still be thinking friendship only and see nothing wrong in his behaviour.
I personally think his behaviour is awful. Mixed messages, keeping you hanging knowing you want more and he’s not arsed.

All bumble chats apart from dirty surgeon seem quite civilised

so the theory of probability means there's going to be a random "do you like anal?/can i see a bikini photo?" comment in between all the general chitchat.

brace yourself bunk....

@Isitreallyme177 oh i hear you! I HATE them too! Totally petrified. Had to get the old man across the road to rescue me one day as couldn't go anywhere near the eight-legged bastard. Vile things! And honestly how many flies do they actually eat really, because there seem to be a ton of them around too.

@Naimee87

Yeh I'm glad it's not just me who has noticed the "fly issue" this summer, I'm not going mad here?

Ecosystems seem to be f*ked - I mean not just outside or in the country but one can hardly sleep without five of them in the room.

@Naimee87 I once called my brother to come and get rid of one. It's really bad and i feel like a nervous wreck. I keep thinking I can see one out the corner of my eye and I look around and there isn't anything there. Oh and the flies this year have been awful so the spiders aren't doing their job.

@isitreallyme177 have you considered hypnosis or even CBT for your spider issue? A friend did it and managed to hold one in her hand as well as a snake.

Personally i hate the things but as im a single parent, the buck stops with me so i get a tissue and pick it up and throw it outside. I've read on these threads that the spider catcher tool from Lakeland is good too.

I'd be lost without my spider catcher...

I once left my flat in Islington at gone midnight and caught a night bus over to Hackney to my boyfriends
because there was a spider in my room

Wow we're all so similar... i'd have done the bus thing too. I actually moved due to some humoungous spiders that decided to take over the one flat i tried to live in. I sneakily moved back to my parents, took them ages to realise. haha! How exactly does a 'spider' catcher work? Because as soon as they move i freeze! Can't even go close to them.

So update I'm going to the cinema tonight 😃. Doesn't give me much time as I'm in the office today.

@Eesha I want to do the spider course at London zoo but they stopped it due to covid. I'm also on a Facebook group set up by a guy from my town about bugs and spiders and it has helped a bit.

@Heartbeats0708 Thanks for asking, I did see Mr K last night.
It was a really nice night, we always have a great time together its hard to reconcile that with last weeks issue.
We didn't discuss the issue again, I told him about how the party went and that was it.
I think he thinks we're all ok now whereas I'm still 1 leg out until I see my Counsellor.

I saw my best friend for lunch today and she thinks he's just being a man and her husband is similar and they've been together 16yrs and have 2 kids. He books stuff in without considering the rest of the family (or prior plans) and he's honestly a great guy who loves his family so much.
Mr K definitely sees his weekends as all seperate and not having consequences on other weekends so in his mind his 4 day fishing trip affected that weekend and that was all (plus my brother and family thought it was great he went along so why wouldn't I) when actually it impacted the next weekend.

Roll on counselling this Friday to talk it through.

I have held a tarantula ... but i can't beat the thought of being within 100 feet of a house spider!!