I'm never going to shack up with another man

[barbedwired]

I don't need any more children, wedding rings or domestic drudgery.
Twenty five years, 14 hardcore marriage then widowed ( as I was about to divorce him) 11 years ( this one I knew and he wheedled his way into my house during the trauma of the husband suddenly dying ) .
First was a troubled marriage, second looked like something it was not - the penny dropped last month after he assaulted me. I got him out of the house immediately.

I am free!!!!!!!

I've decided that after the healing as this is not easy, I shall find company ( I'm quite happy home alone ) go out for lunches, dinners, maybe a hotel room if we feel like it, travel if it's fun and then live happily ever after seeing my children and living alone with a cat or two.

Anyone want to join this club, is in this club and loves it?

Me neither.
Nev. Urrr.

@ManifestingJoy judging by this relationship board I'm not surprised.

I am doing pretty much the same. I have cats, dogs, financial independence, career, hobbies, children...never living with a man again, as don't need to for any reason. Hated living with my former husband. Having your own place is a joy to the introvert. I have a boyfriend and we have brilliant weekends away, holidays and keep in touch daily. I love him. I won't marry him, live with him or be told what to do by him...we are on the same page of the same book around these issues. Good luck, its fun!!

@scoobydoo1971 blissful! I look forward to selling up and buying just my own house - this is joint and for various reasons has to be sold next summer.

Oh I adore my independence, I wouldn't swap it for any man.

I have my home, my career, my son (dog, cat and fish tank)

I am completely financially independent as a lone parent. I don't have a ex to argue with over anything.

I date and what not, but no never another relationship and I am 100% never sharing my home with anyone else. I can decorate as I like, watch what I want on TV, cook what I want to cook for tea. Me and my son go for Welly walks, and swimming together , to the fun fair, cinema.

I love my life.

I'm 36. Decided at 30 I was done with men. Actually found a cracking one since who hasn't once disappointed in nearly 5 years but I will still never live with him. Not for me, thanks! Good luck on your healing journey.

@Callcat

I'm 36. Decided at 30 I was done with men. Actually found a cracking one since who hasn't once disappointed in nearly 5 years but I will still never live with him. Not for me, thanks! Good luck on your healing journey.

callcat I'm 31 must be a 30's epiphany or something haha

Same. I vowed at 30 I was done with men. Actually found a cracking one since who hasn't disappointed once in 5 years, but I won't marry him, live with him, or take any shit. Luckily he respects that, and feels the same. Its great! Good luck on your healing journey.

I have a girlfriend who's just about to do the same as well.

The peace since I got him out is exquisite

@Callcat

I hope you've told him twice.

@Callcat 😂

Haha it didn't post the first time 😂

I will never live with another man. I just cannot do it. I love people but I also love shutting my door and keeping them out.

I've been single for 8 years since hitting late 30s. That was his decision at the time, but since then I've realised I'm much happier living alone and just having friends with benefits, who don't get sulky about the amount of time I spend doing my own thing or supporting my adult son to live independently.

Never have to share my bed and have my sleep impacted, never have to compromise on food choices, never have to put up with tv/music I'm not interested in, never have to clear up mess I haven't made myself.

I live with DD and DDog and have a lovely OH of 2 years. He has slept over in my house no more than a handful of times and we both hate it! He doesn’t want to live with me and I don’t want anyone else living here. Happy with this arrangement for good. No room in my bed, the dog takes up the other half!

Had a massive wobble a month ago where we worked out how much we'd save on council tax and utilities if we moved in together

Had a panic the day after and i think we're back on track to stay apart [heart emoticon]

I said that when I divorced at 37. Own house, car, job I loved and then ten years later I met someone who changed everything. Didn't want it, wasn't expecting it but I fell deeply in love with someone who felt was the same and felt the same way.

We still live separately for other reasons but one day, hopefully that will change.

The big difference for both of us is we know that we can happily live alone and independently, so it takes someone very very special to change that. Neither of us rely on the the other financially. We can walk away at any time. Neither of us were vulnerable or feared being alone. At nearly 52 I can honestly say that I loved single life 😉 but I love him even more.

Enjoy your single life.

I totally get where you’re coming from.

I'm in. One marriage, together 25 years, the last 5 of which were hell due to his alcohol addiction. He died 12 days before the nisi was pronounced. Now I'm single, I've taken on a third child through fostering and all three are at uni, and I have two cats. I have a home, a job, interests - and other than my foster son and my boy cat, no man is going to live here with me again.

Love this club. I want to be part of it.
I love my own company
I love my house
My daughter and I are so happy.
Why would I let a bloke ruin all of this.
Why would I want to share finances..

I will never live with a man while my DS is at home at the very least. If I'm still with DP then we will have been together for over a decade so if he's going to develop any gross habits I'd know by then!!
Even if we do, he'll keep his place and we will certainly still spend nights apart.

Been single for 3 years now, I'm 43. Totally with you

My ex is quite possibly the worst subhuman known to existent. To think I could potentially experience another abusive relationship puts me off no end. I will stay single to protect my own safety and my daughters.

When I was in a relationship with a man I did not realise or notice how much emotional energy I invested in him/it.

Only since I have been out of it, once I had finished panicking about being alone, and then grieving the loss of him/it (it being the relationship) did I realise that I am now free of it all.

I don't think I ever want it back.

What I mean is, the worrying about him.... will he cheat on me? will he leave me? how will I live without him? what did he mean by that? why is he suddenly more/less attentive? why didn't he want to see me on so and so day? are we ever going to move this forward? does he really love me? does he really like me? is he secretly watching porn? is he secretly on dating sites trying to replace me? how will I live without him? what if he gets killed on his motorbike, how will I live without him? did I upset him by doing XYZ? was he flirting with that woman... is he going to pursue her? he's always name dropping that new colleague... will he go off with her? how will I live without him?

Finally I found out that I can indeed live without him, and now I have wonderful peace, contentment, no more worries, no stress, no paranoia. Bliss.