Where do they hide the normal men?

[Ihaveroyallyscrewedup]

Is there some island they all live on, some secret place only a few know of?
The most recent seemed like a safe bet, known each other for many years, well enough to know a fair amount of detail about each other’s lives. In that time he’s always seemed stable, good job, own house, two children he has three days a week, wise enough to have asked my advice before he has taken action because he has recognised he may be unreasonable and being a dick. For reasons which are irrelevant we have never dated but there has always been chemistry so we found ourselves in a place where we think ok let’s date and suddenly he’s turned in to this unreliable, non communicative man who treats a suggestion of lunch as if you had just proposed marriage, buying a house and having triplets all at the same time!
So time to throw this one back which is a shame as we have been friends a long time.

[quote onlychildhamster]@Kittenlittlen its a lot easier to be an average looking lady than a short man in the dating market, that is what I am saying. I don't know many women who would date a man shorter than her, none of the men I know are dating or married to models. Most women with boyfriends are not particularly beautiful or attractive.[/quote]
Really. Many men have a preference of youth . So you think it’s easier for older women ?

I don’t believe it’s easier for older women or women who don’t conform to the preferences

You made a claim can you show the evidence that supports it

@Kittenlittlen porn is different cos it's a cold commercial transaction. Kinda of like ordering in.

Relationships are different. They are based on emotion as well as sexual chemistry. If you asked my DH to pick a girl out of a catalogue, he probably wouldn't have picked a short 152 cm tall Chinese girl like myself who can't run and have very small boobs. His ex girlfriend was much more well endowed. But we are still married and he tells me I am beautiful. Cos I guess sexual attraction is more than a checklist.

Also you say most women with bfs are not beautiful or models but are most men with gfs models or beautiful - no I don’t think so

[quote Eesha]@BillMasen apologies, I literally wrote that too quickly. I definitely don't think divorced people are abnormal in any way. I do think we all need to be more open minded that people all have their baggage, especially later on[/quote]
No worries, and that I agree with. You don’t get to 40s without some history

@Kittenlittlen exactly average looking man + average looking woman. Go to the supermarket and see all the average couples buying their groceries together.

[quote onlychildhamster]@Kittenlittlen porn is different cos it's a cold commercial transaction. Kinda of like ordering in.

Relationships are different. They are based on emotion as well as sexual chemistry. If you asked my DH to pick a girl out of a catalogue, he probably wouldn't have picked a short 152 cm tall Chinese girl like myself who can't run and have very small boobs. His ex girlfriend was much more well endowed. But we are still married and he tells me I am beautiful. Cos I guess sexual attraction is more than a checklist.[/quote]
So by your logic that would be good advice for short men complaining that some women like taller men

@Kittenlittlen no cos many women wouldn't even date a man who is shorter. I think most men wouldn't rule out a short girl or at least I haven't met many as a very short girl.

[quote onlychildhamster]@Kittenlittlen exactly average looking man + average looking woman. Go to the supermarket and see all the average couples buying their groceries together.[/quote]
My point wasn’t about average looking people not getting dates it’s easier about the fact that ken have been having physical preferences in women that go on and on
Yet they complain about some women having just one physical preference - tall
Why do men feel women are not allowed to have physical prefer a when it’s fine for them to do so

[quote onlychildhamster]@Kittenlittlen no cos many women wouldn't even date a man who is shorter. I think most men wouldn't rule out a short girl or at least I haven't met many as a very short girl.[/quote]
I’ve dated shorter men , my father is married to a much taller woman my sons partner is taller
That’s just wrong
Many men won’t date a women ten years older but happily date one ten years or even twenty years younger
Many men won’t date a woman who doesn’t have the body parts in the size or shape he likes whether you believe it or not . Or he’ll date her and sleep with her till another woman who fits his ideal comes along

@onlychildhamster

You seem to have a real double standard for example , using a very simple comparison

Why do you think women not wanting to date a man shorter than them would be an issue anyway
But men not dating women their own age and only dating younger women not an issue ?

Sounds like in your eyes, mens pretences - good , womens preferences - bad

@Kittenlittlen height is something you can't change and I don't know many age gap relationships either! Older men might hope to get a lovely 25 year old but sad to say, unless he is rich, 25 year old is generally not interested!

I just think that it's often women who have far more preferences than men. It is their right but it does narrow the dating pool for them.

[quote onlychildhamster]@Kittenlittlen its a lot easier to be an average looking lady than a short man in the dating market, that is what I am saying. I don't know many women who would date a man shorter than her, none of the men I know are dating or married to models. Most women with boyfriends are not particularly beautiful or attractive.[/quote]
Interesting as with very few exceptions in couples I know, all the women are considerably more 'beautiful or attractive' than their partners, and make a lot more effort with their appearance too. Seems to me that women have to jump through hoops, while all men have to do is turn up, not be too much of a twat, and for some (but by no means all women), not be short.

[quote onlychildhamster]@Kittenlittlen height is something you can't change and I don't know many age gap relationships either! Older men might hope to get a lovely 25 year old but sad to say, unless he is rich, 25 year old is generally not interested!

I just think that it's often women who have far more preferences than men. It is their right but it does narrow the dating pool for them.[/quote]
That’s literally the strangest thing I ever heard . That men women have far more preferences than men
Wheb it comes to physical prefernces you don’t have a leg to stand on to be honest
I’ve listed for you a fraction of the physical preferences men have yet yet your complaining about height
Other than height please list for me all these other ‘ far more ‘ preferences ‘ women have when it comes to men’s looks
Considering women are the ones who are expected to attract themselves up who spend all the money on cosmetics and cosmetic procedures men seem to have an extremely easy time getting ready considering all these preferences you claim
I’m looking forward to hearing all the physical preference you claim. Women put on men

@5128gap
Same here , nearly every couple I know the woman is far more attractive and spends a lot more time on her appearance
Also Every woman I know spends a load more time getting ready , money on cosmetics, and on looks
Society and men are much harsher on women’s looks much much harsher

@onlychildhamster

‘
@Kittenlittlen height is something you can't change and I don't know many age gap relationships either! Older men might hope to get a lovely 25 year old but sad to say, unless he is rich, 25 year old is generally not interested!’

And age is something a woman can change ?

Same for women they might want a teller man and have to settle for a shorter one .
Exactly my point
Mare you even reading what you are writing ? You are confirming every single stereotype and highlighting how nonsensical argument is
There are plenty of things women can’t change that men want them to have !

@Kittenlittlen I am currently putting on makeup. It is so easy to look pretty as a woman. I wish other problems in lives were so easily solved as applying some lotions and potions. if you have a face that looks nice in makeup, thats like 90% of the problem solved. I get that a lot of women think its a bother but hey its stuff that you can do if you want to. Lots of women in the UK are chubby so I honestly think that isn't a huge issue unless you want to be on Love Island!

For a man, if you have an ugly face and are short, what can you do short of surgery/invasive procedures. Get a good haircut and nice jumper, but if you are ugly/short, you are ugly.

Both men and women want partners who are at least average looking, but a lady can at least easily do stuff to mitigate a not so pretty face.

None of us are normal. The trick is to find someone who’s faults line up with your own enough to coexist happily

[quote onlychildhamster]@Kittenlittlen I am currently putting on makeup. It is so easy to look pretty as a woman. I wish other problems in lives were so easily solved as applying some lotions and potions. if you have a face that looks nice in makeup, thats like 90% of the problem solved. I get that a lot of women think its a bother but hey its stuff that you can do if you want to. Lots of women in the UK are chubby so I honestly think that isn't a huge issue unless you want to be on Love Island!

For a man, if you have an ugly face and are short, what can you do short of surgery/invasive procedures. Get a good haircut and nice jumper, but if you are ugly/short, you are ugly.

Both men and women want partners who are at least average looking, but a lady can at least easily do stuff to mitigate a not so pretty face.[/quote]
You obviously can’t provide a list of all the expectations you claim are on men
You sound incredibly sexist and like you have no concept of Gender inequality
The fact women are expected to wear makeup to ‘ look pretty ‘ is a joke
And the fact that you can’t see that men are given a free pass to do the bare minimum with their appearance whilst women are expected to do so much is concerning
I honestly can’t have further discussion with someone who says things like all a woman needs to do is put in some makeup and it’s so easy to look pretty
My god that’s sounds so pick me and sad and hugely mysogynistic
Good luck with your makeup and good luck as you grow up / older .

[quote onlychildhamster]@Kittenlittlen I am currently putting on makeup. It is so easy to look pretty as a woman. I wish other problems in lives were so easily solved as applying some lotions and potions. if you have a face that looks nice in makeup, thats like 90% of the problem solved. I get that a lot of women think its a bother but hey its stuff that you can do if you want to. Lots of women in the UK are chubby so I honestly think that isn't a huge issue unless you want to be on Love Island!

For a man, if you have an ugly face and are short, what can you do short of surgery/invasive procedures. Get a good haircut and nice jumper, but if you are ugly/short, you are ugly.

Both men and women want partners who are at least average looking, but a lady can at least easily do stuff to mitigate a not so pretty face.[/quote]
What can you do if you're a man who is short?
Work on other aspects of yourself, go to the gym, buy great clothes, have cool hair, spend a fraction of the time the average woman does on her appearance to make the most of yourself.
Make sure you have a great personality, as women are far more likely than men to prioritise this over looks.
Accept that not every women will find you attractive, so you may not get ones you would otherwise think you were entitled to.

@5128gap

‘ What can you do if you're a man who is short?
Work on other aspects of yourself, go to the gym, buy great clothes, have cool hair, spend a fraction of the time the average woman does on her appearance to make the most of yourself.
Make sure you have a great personality, as women are far more likely than men to prioritise this over looks.
Accept that not every women will find you attractive, so you may not get ones you would otherwise think you were entitled to.

YES but she talks like it’s never occurred to her that men are not entitled to women being attracted to them
No one is
And you just need a pretty face that looks good with makeup lol
Omg I guess she thinks women are going under the knife for cosmetic surgery constantly

She say oh poor menz what can they do short of surgery …. So why is the percentage of women to men getting surgery so heavily skewed towards women like 80/20

Plenty of women don’t look good in makeup , plenty don’t have ‘ pretty faces ‘ plenty just get on with stuff and accept that they are not owed attraction

Poor poor menz

@Kittenlittlen there are so many gorgeous older ladies who look much better than their younger counterparts. And yes older men are attracted to them. The definition of misogynistic is strongly prejudiced against women. I just think that while women might suffer from lower pay, overwhelming burden of childcare responsibilities, health inequalities, we do have it easier in the looks department. At least in the UK, it is much more easily accessible for a woman to elevate her look if she wants to attract more potential mates. Its a biological fact that we are attracted to pretty/healthy looking people to procreate with.

I read that in Korea, a lot of men are wearing makeup to advance in the workplace but we are not like that in the UK! as for gyym going, I am sorry but I know men who work out regularly and sad to say, they are still below average in the looks department and women are still not interested. Meanwhile so many chubby women who are friendly and have a nice face get no end of admirers.

You are simply not getting the point of HOW a much work many women have to put into looking pretty and your assuming it’s so easy
Many many women are undergoing dangerous surgeries. Spending thousands upon thousands in skincare and cosmetics huge pressure on women
Once again everything you say about women having options just highlights that women feel the need to use things to make them LOOK good
Me. Also have options , nothing stopping then getting lasers plastic surgeries but they don’t . At least not in the numbers women do
Why is that ????? Because they simply are not under the same pressures to look attractive and especially to look young as women are

A few posts back you dodged my question. About why can’t women have a preference for a taller man if many men prefer younger women
You dodged it with some lame excuse about ‘ not knowing about age gap relationships when it had nothing to do with that. It’s about PREFErENCEs and yes many older women do look great
Do you know the most popular older women ? Those who look youthful and that costs a hell of a look unless you are incredibly genetically blessed
Why do you think so many women are spending money on skincare ??????
Why are men spending much much less ????

Let me ask you ? How much education do yoh have in the field of women’s equality and gender issues ?
Please please get daycares on this especially if you have or are planning to have daughter
I shudder to think a mother could tell a child ‘ oh darling you have it so easy in life just make sure you have your lotions and potions to make you look pretty ‘

@Kittenlittlen
Wow you obviously don’t realise that there are plenty of men with presences for large breast and also those with preference for small
Simply not true that all men like all breasts

That's the point that was being made. There are men for every type of woman.
I've never heard a woman express a preference for shirt men.
I have heard express preferences for pretty much every type of women. I once knew of a guy who was specifically attracted to women who were slightly cross-eyed.
The criteria for being attractive as a man does seem narrower.

[quote BreadPita]@Kittenlittlen
Wow you obviously don’t realise that there are plenty of men with presences for large breast and also those with preference for small
Simply not true that all men like all breasts

That's the point that was being made. There are men for every type of woman.
I've never heard a woman express a preference for shirt men.
I have heard express preferences for pretty much every type of women. I once knew of a guy who was specifically attracted to women who were slightly cross-eyed.
The criteria for being attractive as a man does seem narrower.[/quote]
It’s generally one physical thing height - for some women
And be a decent person

Just a thought on some pp's saying they know good men who cant find a woman.

A friend's brother is 42, looking for a partner. Hes good looking, charming, quite sporty so fit looking. Polite and Ive always found him a good laugh. His sister always wonders why he can't find anybody despite having been dating on and off for years.

She set him up on a date with another single friend of ours as she thought they'd suit. This fucker took her out, paid for pre-dinner drinks, they ordered their meals, ate then he asked her to pay for both meals🙄. Which she did. Drinks total £18. Meals total £45+

End of night he dropped her home then had the nerve to insist she should let him in. Which of course she didnt and he spent the next week calling her wanting to 'come round', and whinging when she told him no way.

So a man appearing entirely normal and a good catch to his sister and female friends who no doubt he is very nice to, may actually be one that any woman with sense should chuck back into the sea.

& thats not the only story I know about these 'nice normal men' who 'inexplicably', despite appearing to have much going for them, cant find a woman to settle down with🙂

Probably amongst men chatting shit about women online. There are normal men out there but alas far too many dickheads keep being given chances then again dickishness can be well hidden so its a needle in a haystack/numbers game thing