Dating thread 213 - falling into Autumn leaves

[BelladiMamma]

New thread 🧵 with the rules as a screenshot 🍂

@SpringlikeBunk well done for actually going, it's a shame they were disorganised though, would you go again?

@Thisisworsethananticpated what is the concept of completion? Is it something along the lines of having a clear ending rather than doubt? Sorry, my brain is feeling foggy today!

Yes , it’s just getting to the end
Acknowledging it’s the end
And saying that
What worked , and what didn’t
It’s a really good concept

It’s a shame all the men we meet on this thread don’t realise that !
Ghosting twats

@SpringlikeBunk it definitely takes guts to rock up to something like that on your own so to be all messed about when you get there would for sure be disheartening. Handy for you though if it’s nearby. How are you liking your new city so far?

Hey @Eesha how you doing? How did your haircut go?? Did you ever hear from MrLawyer?

Out for ‘single lady’ drinks with my pal tomorrow, should be really fun! I’m wondering what to wear as it’s sunny but gone quite chilly! Want to get the legs out as I’ve still got a bit of a tan. Maybe a knit mini skirt… can’t wait to do my hair and make up properly 💃🏻

@Earlgrey19 I've used Feeld before and quite liked it although it is definitely more for hook ups (not specifically threesomes though!) - I didn't meet anyone from there but it was part of my 'ffs all the normal apps are so tedious' journey through them and I might download it again. You can be very specific without judgment about what it is you're looking for - a bit like Fabswingers but with far fewer cock shots - whether that be kink, casual, ongoing, ONS, etc and I think getting that out in the open is actually very refreshing.

I hate the way on Tinder etc so many men bleat on about how they are most definitely NOT looking for hook ups, and I always wonder why they are so insistent on this, almost as though there are hundreds of women's profiles saying 'hook ups only over here!' (I don't think so sunshine). I think it all plays into the 'tell the lady what she wants to hear, let's assume all women want relationships and all men are trying to prove they are trustworthy and not actually just after sex' stereotype.

I opened a Fab account again the other day - not sure I'm brave enough for it! Absolute deluge as of course it is for every woman but..... yikes

ibelieveinmirrorballs

YY re tinder ! Very astute 😂
It plays into the men want sex women want relationships trope

I just want sex 😂

I might pick your brains on fab
I’m reluctantly thinking this might be the option for horny old me

Thanks for the advice guys. Had a chat with mrworkingaway. Now we’re doing an overnight closer to me and not the whole weekend. He was fine about it. Understood where I was coming from. My problem now is, my fwb. This has been ongoing for around 6 months. Great setup but he’s not the relationship type. So I’ve been dating. But the dates I’ve had in this time have not progressed to the stage of mrworkingaway. I’m starting to feel a bit guilty/cheaterish. Wibu to carry on with both until any sort of exclusive convo happens with my current iron

Also I forgot the posters name with MrE, but my god do not meet him. I’ve had a similar situ in the past, that turned nasty very quickly. Bloke and avoid would be my advice

@SpringlikeBunk well done you for going speed dating. Such a shame it didn't work out though!! Very frustrating for those who turned up.

So no word from my guy...i haven't messaged him . I have no idea what to write without sounding needy.
I know he has stuff on... but it takes a second to write a short message... so i feel out of sight out of mind. In trying to get through each day not thinking about him as otherwise i get very down.
The strange thing is i have male friends who are very keen to wine and dine me... why couldn't i fancy one of them instead???

@Dropdeadfred2, did your guy give you any reason to think this might happen? Was he evasive about how things might be once he was back home ? Are you sure he’s definitely single? Sorry to be blunt.

[quote Onesmallstep67]@Dropdeadfred2, did your guy give you any reason to think this might happen? Was he evasive about how things might be once he was back home ? Are you sure he’s definitely single? Sorry to be blunt.[/quote]
I know he's single.. I've stayed at his place three times. In the early days we used to be on the phone for hours at a time too.
He's never been great at replying straight away whilst he's home. But i really thought he would have messaged me or called at least once.
I would be very suprised if he ghosted me. But this lack of communicating is hurtful

Its really hard @Dropdeadfred2. Thing is if you put him on the spot he’s only going to tell you some shit anyway. I would let his silence do the talking and see if he pops up over the weekend. I wouldnt be happy with it though. 🌸 for you x

@Dropdeadfred2, I’m glad to hear that he’s not been covering anything up about another partner etc as I think that would make things extra difficult to deal with. Hopefully this isn’t a ghosting then and he will be in touch. I guess it’s a case of how it’s been making you feel if he’s someone who has lapses in contact.

On the one hand, silence does speak volumes, but I'd be tempted to send a breezy check in @Dropdeadfred2 and just see if/how he responds.
Well done for going @SpringlikeBunk it sounds nerve wracking at the best of times but the double booking isn't ideal!!
Thank you @Earlgrey19 I'll pm you

Oh and a few of us have a bit of fab experience @Thisisworsethananticpated if you have any questions!

Drop dead
You have my sympathies
It’s hard to go from this intensive feeling to almost nothing
It’s really shit and sad
I’m not saying this is right , but I’d tend to complete it first for the basic reason it’s not making me happy
I was checking my phone all the time and it did my head in totally

As when you clear them out you create space for new , and you have a decision
But really easy to say and not easy to do when besotted

Heartbeats0708
I’ll be in touch ! I’ve got a month left on the nee one and then I’ll have another mid term review

New site I meant

@Shayelle2009 Quick update: Not seen MrE yet. Said he would have time yesterday heard nothing. Then he sent me a photo of a pink truck asking me if i like it. I replied with 'I don't want to text back and forth, just pick a time/date to talk. I'd really like to move on. You have till the weekend.' He's said i'll text tomorrow after work.' I won't be hanging around waiting for messages from him though and if anything comes up for me tomorrow he can fit in around my plans. It's a tough situation because if he genuinely feels like he did nothing wrong then i can see why he'd be so confused/upset but at the end of the day i'm not changing my decision and they way i feel he treated me is just a no-go.

Now to catch up on some of everyone's news.

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Drop dead You have my sympathies It’s hard to go from this intensive feeling to almost nothing It’s really shit and sad I’m not saying this is right , but I’d tend to complete it first for the basic reason it’s not making me happy I was checking my phone all the time and it did my head in totally

As when you clear them out you create space for new , and you have a decision
But really easy to say and not easy to do when besotted

Thank you. My heart hurts that he hasn't messaged but my head keeps saying its only been 5 days since you were with him..... for me that's ages.. maybe it's not for him. I realky do like him but i like myself too... and i can't have this pain and distraction . I will have to end things i guess

@Naimee87 sorry haven’t commented before but I think you are being far too generous with your time with MrE. Your decision is not more or less acceptable based on whether he did “something wrong” but it is in his favour to continue to press upon you his confusion. He has realised that you are the kind of person to feel bad about potentially being confusing. All of us could claim to be confused by irons’ behaviour but what he means here is he doesn’t like or agree with your decision and wants to gaslight you into feeling responsible.

Hey lovely @Naimee87 what is there to talk about though? Its done isn't it? You don't want to be with him do you? I honestly don’t think you should meet up with him and just firmly tell him you don’t want any more contact and you wont be responding to any more of his contact. He's just using this all as an excuse to drag it out with you and he's pathetically trying to keep control here by dicking you about. Sad twat move along and get on with your life!

@Thisisworsethananticpated I have the same problem as you - have young kids (very young!) and work. I’ve got chatting to some nice guys who are single and say they don’t mind dating someone with kids, but they do want long-term relationships, someone who can give them lots of time at the weekend and potentially move in. It’s really sad but I don’t think I can give them that realistically. I also need a single dad who doesn’t want something too intense - but hard to find that!

@Shayelle2009, enjoy your single lady drinks, I would still go jeans and a sexy top if I were out. It does feel cold though.

All fine here, job is great and I'm getting to 'shine' a bit whilst annoying indirect boss is away. Mr Lawyer did get in touch but only to say his dad was really unwell and too many things going on that made it a bit unworkable at the moment so I was nice and deleted him. I have a date zero on Saturday with Mr Vintage as in deeply into retro stuff so I'm half expecting Willy Wonka to turn up. He's not English which is putting me off given he's not a bantering type which I find great with English men however he's super keen and friendly so I think we will have a fun night. Plus he lives about 10min away!

Hey @Eesha ahh that’s lovely glad you’re enjoying the new job, it’s great you waited and went for the one you knew would be right for you! Have fun with MrVintage at least you’ve got common ground and will have things to talk about! 💗

Thanks @Shayelle2009, are you venturing onto the apps again?

This morning I started thinking about Mr Cricket, I really like him but do I like him enough or am I getting carried away with the idea. When I see him I'm all excited, when he messages I get all excited and I do fancy him but this week I haven't heard from him and I'm not actually upset about it. I know he is on holiday so that might have something to do with it. But what's happened to me?🤨😂

@Shayelle2009 It's cold in the evenings now so I would go in jeans or tights and a skirt. Enjoy your drinks too.