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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Things you hate about Online Dating....

403 replies

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 13/09/2021 02:50

Just for a laugh, I thought I'd start a thread about the bad and the ugly of OLD...

Here's mine:

  1. When men have a picture of a then holding a child on their profile, and then say 'oh, by the way, it's not mine, I promise.' Why include it if it's someone else's?
  1. When men say 'if you want to know anything, just ask.' I'm sorry, ask what? You haven't given me anything to ask about!
  1. When men just write their social media details on their profile with the words 'add me' and nothing else. No thank you. I'm not a love island contestant.

Looking forward to hearing everyone else's Smile

OP posts:
greasyshoes · 04/02/2022 21:14

I've No idea what that means.

It was a fairly straightforward joke.

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 04/02/2022 21:37

@greasyshoes

I've No idea what that means.

It was a fairly straightforward joke.

Well, I don't get it.

It's fairly obvious you don't like this thread, so why are you still on it? Hmm

OP posts:
FooFooFloofyFoof · 06/02/2022 13:02

@greasyshoes

Sorry, but do any of you women realise that almost every single thing mentioned in this thread is equally applicable to women?

Just one example... a few people have mentioned they hate pouting. Have you any idea how many women upload pouting photos of themselves?

"You women" wow!
OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 06/02/2022 14:48

@FooFooFloofyFoof my feelings exactly!

OP posts:
EarthSight · 06/02/2022 14:59

The increasing presence of men on this forum will become a real problem eventually, and unfortunately not something that Mumsnet can do anything about. They may not want to even.

I've noticed more men posting, recently. Why would this be seen as a issue, some might ask? It's because, unfortunately, you will eventually end up with more and more comments on women's post that you would typically see o Twitter, Youtube and Reddit....which is not good.

Some men seem to be incredibly resentful that women actually have place where they can come to talk freely. They come on here to learn more about the female folk or find out about the way they think (since most posters are women)....... but when they see something that they don't like or hurts their ego, they proceed to remind all the women (on a website designed for women), of #NOTALLMEN or WOMEN DO THAT TOO!!! We have to reminded that women put silly filters on, or that many women pout in their photos. Well fucking DUH. WE WOULD NEVER HAVE NOTICED THAT IF YOU HADN'T GENEROUSLY EDUCATED US.

They have to remind us that men are victims too don't you know (because they don't want women to get too much of the sympathy pie). The point of this is to silence women so we feel we have no corner in which we are able to vent without a man wading in to correct us or defend mankind.

I don't agree with everything that's posted on Mumsnet, but it's important that women are able to talk without some plonker coming on here with a 'you women' or 'women do this too' comment.

EarthSight · 06/02/2022 15:05

@Ceriane

OMG I have just come across one that listed masturbation as one of his hobbies along with a list of other things such as visiting museums! And stated his hobbies “in no particular order l” he also listed heterosexual as one of his requirements! Are these people for real.
I totally support this kind of profile - they are making it blatantly obvious who they are so it's much easier to avoid them.

They might as well have shinning hazard lights above their heads.

EarthSight · 06/02/2022 15:10

@welliesarefuntowear

Non vanilla please? Yes some guys just tried to match with me with that statement. I mean I'm lost for words? What does that mean? Am I am assuming he only wants to meet women who conform with his idea of what sex should be? Is it me?
Haha. Brillaint @welliesarefuntowear

That means he either has a fetish or is really into BDSM. Wouldn't surprise me if he's mad about anal as well.

EarthSight · 06/02/2022 15:22

@Aurory At first, I was wondering what's wrong with an Instagram handle? Maybe some of them just want you to see a profile that's more fleshed out that what they can portray on dating apps.

Then I thought.....hold on.....are these men going to be the type that have hundreds or more women following them and him following them back on Instagram as a result of this.........and is he going to stop interacting with them once he's actually in a relationship?

Keeping them all as Insta contacts like this would be a handy way for a guy to 'collect' attractive women for a rainy day. He could keep them there to avoid having a dating app downloaded onto his phone which would make his intentions more obvious to a girlfriend.

There seems to be a problem these days, especially with young people, with relationship boundaries and a lot of it has been made worse by social media and the easy connectivity that comes with it.

Knutface · 06/02/2022 15:26

Totally agree that more and more men are frequenting this site. They are mostly found in the relationship and sex topics! As for online dating, I avoid men clutching a child/dog/fish, anyone stating ‘outgoing, looking for the same’ and anyone with the tag ‘does anyone actually chat here?’ or ‘ Is there anyone normal here?’.

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 06/02/2022 15:55

I'm all for men on the site. I've seen some great posts from men all across here.

But what I dislike is men who come on here and state the obvious. It's unnecessary. 😳

OP posts:
OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 06/02/2022 15:57

Glad that people still like the thread. ❤️

OP posts:
Ceriane · 06/02/2022 19:25

@EarthSight I agree. I’d much rather the red flags were waving for all to see so you can filter them out.

MrsBerthaRochester · 06/02/2022 19:29

I think about 99% of posts on the sex forum are men. Its blatantly obvious. Its also one of the reasons I wont post on the long running dating thread on here. Too many creepy guys on it trying to white knight. Plus there was an occasion a few years back of a guy shagging his way through the thread. Piss of to dadsnet and stop encroaching on womens safe places!

lambchop81 · 06/02/2022 19:54

Men! 🤪

FooFooFloofyFoof · 08/02/2022 13:28

"Piss off to Dadsnet lads" - exactly.

gothisdilemma · 08/02/2022 13:32

@EarthSight

The increasing presence of men on this forum will become a real problem eventually, and unfortunately not something that Mumsnet can do anything about. They may not want to even.

I've noticed more men posting, recently. Why would this be seen as a issue, some might ask? It's because, unfortunately, you will eventually end up with more and more comments on women's post that you would typically see o Twitter, Youtube and Reddit....which is not good.

Some men seem to be incredibly resentful that women actually have place where they can come to talk freely. They come on here to learn more about the female folk or find out about the way they think (since most posters are women)....... but when they see something that they don't like or hurts their ego, they proceed to remind all the women (on a website designed for women), of #NOTALLMEN or WOMEN DO THAT TOO!!! We have to reminded that women put silly filters on, or that many women pout in their photos. Well fucking DUH. WE WOULD NEVER HAVE NOTICED THAT IF YOU HADN'T GENEROUSLY EDUCATED US.

They have to remind us that men are victims too don't you know (because they don't want women to get too much of the sympathy pie). The point of this is to silence women so we feel we have no corner in which we are able to vent without a man wading in to correct us or defend mankind.

I don't agree with everything that's posted on Mumsnet, but it's important that women are able to talk without some plonker coming on here with a 'you women' or 'women do this too' comment.

This is so true. They seem mostly on the relationships and the sex boards. I haven't noticed them on the SEN or other 'parenting' bits. Presumably just are here to try and boss us about. I wish they would fuck off.
Apothe · 08/02/2022 13:34

Is there a Dadsnet?

I think it can be a bit derailing and stating of the obvious, on all these threads, to say 'well some women are just as bad'.

EarthSight · 08/02/2022 23:11

@Apothe

Is there a Dadsnet?

I think it can be a bit derailing and stating of the obvious, on all these threads, to say 'well some women are just as bad'.

It wouldn't matter even if there was @Apothe . The reason why a lot of them are here is to observe the femaley kind in their own habitat. If we get a bit loud though, they're quite to jump out of the bushes to tell us to behave ourselves with WOMEN DO IT TOO.
EarthSight · 08/02/2022 23:12

they're quick*

Apothe · 08/02/2022 23:45

That makes sense. I started reading the relationship section a while ago and I think I've seen more men posting here than anywhere else, especially with some version of that 'women do that too' thing.

Genuinely wondered if there was a Dadsnet. I know there used to be a Dadsnet section on the boards here so wondered if a 'proper' site had since been created.

shouldhavewouldhave · 09/02/2022 22:25

It's the way they can't resist announcing that 'they are a man' therefore us 'ladies' are all to listen and pipe down our clucking.

Haven't they got 99.99999% of the internet, cant we just have one tiny corner?

iwishu · 11/02/2022 10:57

Things I hate about online dating- I'm looking in the mid 30s -40s age range vast majority of men still want a young care free life, I have a family and work full time, they have a lot of free time, they want something casual, don't take life seriously, want spontaneous travel, they like dogs, when I don't, it's just frustrating that guys don't want to commit, not that I can find.

If they do have children they declare the child is their world and they will come first.
It's very difficult to find someone as you get older and already have children, I'm open minded to finding someone but I have big doubts it'll ever happen.

Mermaidwaves · 11/02/2022 11:08

Why do they all proclaim their child "is their world"? The offenders of this banal sentence all use those exact words Hmm can they really not think of anything original? When I see it I grit my teeth, it's so overused and probably not even true when you hear about all the crap blokes on here.

VenusMantrap · 14/02/2022 01:50

The thread is literally “things you hate about online dating.”

Why make it women hating?

🤔 🙄

VenusMantrap · 14/02/2022 01:53

That was to greasy shoes it was the last message on my notifications