So last night me and my husband got into an argument, it's sort of an argument that's been going on for a while but every so often it becomes quite a big argument. Yesterday it was our daughters birthday and after school we took her to the cinema ( my daughter told us 3 weeks ago that on her birthday she wanted to go to the cinema and McDonald's, my husband has known about this for weeks and still decided to come home late from work ( he's self. Employed and his own boss) I called him to see where he was as it was half an hour before the movie we wanted to see was due to start and just kept saying " we will see" and at that point I got quite upset about this as both the kids were already to go and I wasn't prepared to let my daughter down ( as my husband works 5 days a week he's hardly ever home and always says he will do things with us which don't happen) he came home and when he told our daughter it was to late to go he would try and take her somewhere else she started crying and he lost it at me telling me that I should control "my" children and make them understand if you can't do something you can't do something. I replied to this " it's her birthday, she told you weeks ago this is what she wanted us to do, and now your blaming me because your probably feeling bad about letting her down again" he walked off in a strop. Later that night he was trying to talk to our daughter and she got upset and pushed her away and he shouted at her and made her cry calling her stupid. I told him this needs to stop that he needs to stop upsetting us like this expecially the children and name calling. He told me that I should teach my kids " to respect their father" and that if it wasn't for "him" we would see wha kind of life we would have had.
After a rather horrible end to her birthday I put the kids to bed and went in to tell him that if he talks to me or the kids like that again he should just go, this is a recurring things for years now. Every day when he comes home from work he is always snapping at us, name calling, expecially me apparently I am " good for nothing" and have an " English brain" ( he's Pakistani) an I got fed up with him and lost it, I told him that if his daughter doesn't respect him it's nothing to do with me ( as he insists I am brainwashing them against him which is absolutely not true I've never spoke bad about him infront of them and I never would) I told him it's down to him if they don't respect him bevause the way he treats them. I also told him that I was fed up of him making me cry and feel sad all the time, that even when we sleep together I get fed up and don't want anything bevause I just remember 5he names hes called me and he only ever treats me nice when we sleep together. He told me he doesn't want to be with me anymore and that me and the kids should go and have a happy life and see how far we get without him. I tried telling him I didn't mean it in that way and that I just want things to change, work life balance, him not being On the phone all the time, him coming home and not making someone cry because he's had a stressful day. He wouldn't let me touch him and I started crying and he punched me in the face and slapped me on my hands, I have a bruise on my face now. I've tried telling him I'm sorry and that I didn't mean it how he thinks, he's gone to work today and I've tried calling him to say sorry and he is just ignoring my calls and won't answer me. Was Ibu with what I said to him? Was it to harsh? I keep trying to think what I've said that's really wrong to justify him hurting me like that but alls I've basically said is tha he needs to sort himself and his behaviour out.