The phone..

[trickmetwice]

I got some great advice yesterday then admin removed the thread! I actually didn't screen shot the information I needed so I'd like anyone with good tech skills to message me. I found a phone, I won't go into details in case the same person comes back to bash me again. I need to see what's on the phone. Last active Monday am and been in use since Feb 2021 (friend has found out that part) I'm pretty certain and have that guy sinking feeling but I need evidence for my own mental state! Don't bash me, all I want is tips/tricks to get into this phone. It's locked and I don't know the password. Was on airplane mode but isn't now, no notifications have come through. H is panicking about it for sure.. not that I care! He's done stuff before so has a history of being a very cleaver cheating B

@SnatchCassidy you’re not bringing anything to this thread.

OP hope you’re doing well. Any ideas of next steps? It must be difficult with him under one roof so hopefully try and get some time to take a breath.

@trickmetwice

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Your abuse has been reported. Such a delightful bunch on here xx

[quote Whateverisaid21]@SnatchCassidy you’re not bringing anything to this thread.

OP hope you’re doing well. Any ideas of next steps? It must be difficult with him under one roof so hopefully try and get some time to take a breath.[/quote]
Strangely neither are the people swearing at me who you choose not to say the same to.

But you’re on this just looking to antagonise people including the OP. You offered your opinion but have then decided to prod. Move on unless you have something else you’ve not already added that’s constructive.

Anyway, will wait for the OP to update on next steps, would like to offer her support at a horrible time.

@Whateverisaid21

But you’re on this just looking to antagonise people including the OP. You offered your opinion but have then decided to prod. Move on unless you have something else you’ve not already added that’s constructive.

Anyway, will wait for the OP to update on next steps, would like to offer her support at a horrible time.

I'm not on here to antagonise anyone. I have however repeatedly been flamed, stalked and verbally abused by some other delightful 'ladies' who can't stay away from the thread themselves. Why the hell shouldn't I defend myself? I'm also waiting for the OP to update but I was accused of being overly invested' for doing so.

I have no intention coming back to update you snatch just so you can bark more nasty comments my way about what I should of done and how useless I am. I've spent far too much time this weekend doubting myself, double thinking my actions and questioning who I am because of your words. The good news is I've woken up this morning and had a strong coffee and a quite word with myself. The majority of people here have been fab, offering support and generally being nice. You haven't, this speaks more about you than it does me.. I'm off to face the real world, see a legal advisor and look for a new home for me and the kids. Maybe open the curtains, let some fresh air in through a window and step away from the keyboard Snatch! Have a fabulous day all x

@trickmetwice

I have no intention coming back to update you snatch just so you can bark more nasty comments my way about what I should of done and how useless I am. I've spent far too much time this weekend doubting myself, double thinking my actions and questioning who I am because of your words. The good news is I've woken up this morning and had a strong coffee and a quite word with myself. The majority of people here have been fab, offering support and generally being nice. You haven't, this speaks more about you than it does me.. I'm off to face the real world, see a legal advisor and look for a new home for me and the kids. Maybe open the curtains, let some fresh air in through a window and step away from the keyboard Snatch! Have a fabulous day all x

I have not made any comments about how useless you are. Please don't tell lies.

I don’t really think the OP at such a terrible time needs the continued bad attitude from you. It’s fine to have different viewpoints of course but you’ve been really judgmental in how you have written your posts and patronising so it’s of no surprise the OP feels like that.

@trickmetwice you sound you’ve come to a determined place which is great and good on you. It’ll be a rollercoaster so if you have a wobble remember you’ll get back to how you feel today. I know it’ll be emotional but doing some of the practical things will really help get your head together. I’ll try and find that previous thread where an OP was preparing the leave. Basically she got together all the finance documents, she got a storage unit and filled it with useful things. Also whilst ‘still together’ she bought things such as school uniform for the future, paid any club fees upfront. Sort of managed upcoming family expenses as much as possible so she wouldn’t be lumped with it. I think doing that really spurred her on as she could focus on what she could do in the situation and what she couldn’t control. I suppose you might have some things to think about in your business too so maybe that’s a start as well. Break it all down so it doesn’t seem as overwhelming.

@whateverisaid21 offers some really good advice, even if you can't find the original thread she mentioned.
Hope you have a better day today, but don't feel that you have to sort it all today. Take a breath, have a good look round for the best advice, from people you feel comfortable working with, and even if you only manage to do a couple of small things, it's a positive start.
There will always be people who think that their view is the only view, you're savvy enough to pick out the right advice at the right time :)

His name doesn't begin with G does it

OP- I totally understand the wanting to know. It’s natural to want to know what you are dealing with. I know I turned into 007 at various points and I still check the router log every day (not a pretty read due to all the porn shit) . My internet as much as his and I pay for it - so I don’t give a stuff what anyone thinks. That way any sniff of dating sites, hook up apps, gambling, phones I don’t recognise etc - I’m first to know. Having given a chance after an emotional affair I am much harder. You know enough to know he’s up to no good and it isn’t his first rodeo-it might be that will have to be enough sadly. Don’t torture yourself, protect yourself, get a handle on the money, assets and in a timescale to suit you.

@Crikeyalmighty

OP- I totally understand the wanting to know. It’s natural to want to know what you are dealing with. I know I turned into 007 at various points and I still check the router log every day (not a pretty read due to all the porn shit) . My internet as much as his and I pay for it - so I don’t give a stuff what anyone thinks. That way any sniff of dating sites, hook up apps, gambling, phones I don’t recognise etc - I’m first to know. Having given a chance after an emotional affair I am much harder. You know enough to know he’s up to no good and it isn’t his first rodeo-it might be that will have to be enough sadly. Don’t torture yourself, protect yourself, get a handle on the money, assets and in a timescale to suit you.

OMG how naive am I?! I never knew or considered that you could check history this way. Thank you, very useful to know!

@Crikeyalmighty wow I didn’t know this. So presumedly someone could check for another phone if it’s connected to WiFi. It might not be. Interesting about the website history, not sure if all do that but it’s worth people knowing if they wanted to gather some evidence.

Hi, Op. I’ve been thinking about you over the last couple of days. Such terrible feelings when you believe your partner has betrayed you. You know you deserve to be in a relationship with someone you trust completely. I’m rooting for you💐

Whateverisaid21
I think you may be remembering this thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3257939-Dh-sent-me-a-photo-by-mistake?msgid=78757310#78757310

Hi Op. Do you have an ipad? The ipad and phone sync so you download WhatsApp etc onto the ipad you can see the messages from the phone on the ipad if that makes sense?
A friend found out about another woman when she was using the ipad for online shopping and a message came through from the OW to her husband but as his phone and ipad were linked she could read everything....

@OMGisthisforreal yes that’s the one. She was incredible with it all. Really stuck with me as it must of been so hard for her but she was quite inspiring to see her strength in those horrible times.

@Loveabitofrain @Whateverisaid21. Cisco umbrella or open DNS is your friend here with regards to the router. Perfectly legal - although you need access to your router and to understand how dns works, not everything you see has been looked at- but you soon get the gist of what’s going on- it works like the child monitors you can get to keep an eye on kids viewing habits and security , except you don’t block anything. You don’t need to be mega techie — some routers actually log stats too but harder to interpret. Another good thing is the app net analyser which shows the devices on your network at any time. — if your house is all Apple for instance and a Samsung device keeps showing up
Or the reverse— someone has a device you don’t know about. (Unless your TV etc is a Samsung) — I absolutely realise that if you are looking at this kind of stuff your marriage has issues, but sometimes people know deep down something ‘not good’ is going on and need to actually have proof before they disrupt lives.

[quote OMGisthisforreal]Whateverisaid21
I think you may be remembering this thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3257939-Dh-sent-me-a-photo-by-mistake?msgid=78757310#78757310[/quote]
I've just read through the thread and found it fascinating! Is there a follow up thread of what happened when she confronted him???

@OMGisthisforreal holy heck that thread was 2018?! I remember it really clearly I thought it was last summer! I hope everything turned out ok for her.

I’ve just read that! Would love to know if she succeeded! She seemed very determined!

@trickmetwice how has this week gone OP?

Morning @trickmetwice. How are things?

Don't think we are going to get an update somehow