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Original poster

Dating thread 212 - more milk tray, less flakes

992 replies

Shayelle2009 · 04/09/2021 09:15

The Rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. Know your worth.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Isitreallyme177 · 05/09/2021 17:22

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Computer Geek was completely different, I fancied him straight away no shit Grin

Did you fancy his online persona or his actual real life persona immediately

I’m trying to be more open , and simultaneously more picky Confused

@Thisisworsethananticpated his real life persona, he was exactly what I would go for. His online and real life persona were actually very similar though.
Isitreallyme177 · 05/09/2021 17:25

@Naimee87 sorry to hear about Mr E and your son. Would your son lie about whatever occurred though?

BelladiMamma · 05/09/2021 17:59

[quote SortingItOut]@Naimee87 I'm sorry to hear an incident occurred, it doesnt sound great regardless of who is telling the truth.
Why is Mr E arguing with your son? That's a huge red flag.

How cone Mr E has met your son so early on? Do you think your son has picked up on anything between you and him and your thoughts?

I think its usually 3 months into a relationship before their true colours show, how far along are you?[/quote]
This 💯

BelladiMamma · 05/09/2021 18:14

[quote Isitreallyme177]@Naimee87 sorry to hear about Mr E and your son. Would your son lie about whatever occurred though?[/quote]
Thing is, it doesn't really matter what the rights and wrongs are. It's how MrE had handled it. Which is pretty badly by the sounds of it.

BelladiMamma · 05/09/2021 18:16

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Thankfully my DD doesn't want to deal with my ex and his poison so in some ways I'm lucky

You know I was thinking , I encourage my children to love their dad
He seems to encourage them to hate me
Twat 🦠

But life and parenting after divorce ain’t for the faint hearted is it

It's hard isn't it. That's the standpoint I started from as well with my ex then I realised that all the covert abuse I'd been getting was just being transferred onto my DD. It's just so negative and no one needs that in their life, let alone a young teen. He's a nightmare. A very wealthy and successful nightmare but ... god I'm so pleased to be out of it. I feel bad for my two though.
Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 05/09/2021 18:37

@SpringlikeBunk I cant stop giggling at this.. “we keep on engaging with the apps and clicking, like one of those “pick up a cuddly toy machines” where you never win anything”
It’s really tickled me 😆

@Naimee87 even though I’m not a parent it feels more than a bit wrong that after this short amount of time you have this situation. Doesn’t sound good. Take care of yourself 💗

OP posts:
Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 05/09/2021 18:40

I also had a huge crush on an iron I never met.. MrJD… we were chatting for months and I knew so much about him. He was gorgeous. I was gutted when he twice disappeared ☹️

OP posts:
Iamclearlyamug · 05/09/2021 18:50

Quick update from me

So some of you might remember I talked about date zero with Mr Polish a couple of weeks ago - well that went so well that we’ve both deleted the apps and have spent loads of time together whenever my daughter has been with her dad.

Thinks are going awesome and I’m super happy but determined to take things super slow after what happened with Mr Fencing

Like @Naimee87 said upthread, we really don’t know these men for a long time!

MayEye · 05/09/2021 19:27

New thread and 160 posts already!
Update from me- not long back from my weekend away with Mr Lumberjack and it was amazing! He picked me up en route, he had booked a fab hotel, we had dinner and drinks Friday night, spent all day Saturday on a hike around a gorgeous coastal walk, went to the city last night and had a lovely meal and lunch today beside the sea and a walk around the harbour. He planned all of it, picked the places we went to because he knew I would like them because he actually listened to stuff I told him!

When I matched with him I was not sure I would fancy’s him but I liked what he had written on his profile and he had a lovely dog so I went the first date assuming I wouldn’t be seeing him again. But he is funny, kind, generous, asks questions, listens to the answers, has a stable home life, close family, loads of friends - no red flags yet!
He knows I can’t see him often, it doesn’t seem to phase him, he already has asked to see me on my next child free weekend and has made suggestions about what we can do again.
Heading for smitten Smile

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 05/09/2021 19:32

Omfg @MayEye he sounds like a dream… that’s so cute, congratulations 💘💘

OP posts:
Walkingalot · 05/09/2021 19:47

MayEye - What a perfect date - sounds like you've found an elusive Truffle!
Naimee87 - Without more context and I totally get why you don't want to say, it's difficult to comment. Trust your gut on this one. If either are lying, why? Could it be a mis-understanding? Has he got kids? Unfortuntely, it may have changed the dynamics of the relationship now anyway.
Thisisworsethananticpated - Sorry to hear what you are going through. My ex moved abroad, for which I'm thankful apart from his last extended visit which nearly broke me.

FireandBrimstone · 05/09/2021 19:48

Lovely updates @MayEye and @Iamclearlyamug!!

Dropdeadfred2 · 05/09/2021 20:05

[quote SortingItOut]@Dropdeadfred2 I assume you've not had any chats about exclusivity or coming off the apps with the original guy?
You say you are needy and you've got a date with someone else - seeking validation from men to meet your needs isn't healthy.
Apologies if you've already said but whats your relationship history? Bad relationships can lead to self-esteem issues.[/quote]
You are right of course...i dunt know why i keep trying the apps when he's the one i want. He hadn't answered his phone weekend though.. it drives me crazy Sad. I want to ask him about things but how can i if he's not picking up??

I had lunch today... pleasant meal.. okay conversation... no spark at all .. which i expected

SpringlikeBunk · 05/09/2021 20:07

@MayEye and @Iamclearlyamug

👌 great updates Flowers

Languidleopard · 05/09/2021 20:13

Evening all, a quick update from my zero date with Mr Slow Texter.

He was surprisingly nice! No huge chemistry and not my usual type physically. He looked exactly like his pictures, but a bit more attractive, which was an unexpected bonus 😁

We got on well and had plenty on common. We stopped our walk for a cuppa and I got the impression from his body language and levrlel of eye contact that he fancied me.

I tried to flirt a couple of times but didn't get much response. I'm quite tactile, he seems more reserved, he was also really nervous initially.

He has a very kind, gentle energy, asked me questions about myself and was interested in what I had to say.

The only caveat to all this positivity is that I'm the very first person he matched with on Bumble and he hasn't met anyone else yet. So I feel that he may want to keep his options open.

He gave me a very chaste kiss on the cheek when we went our separate ways. Not sure if that's a good or a bad sign?

I would see him again if he asked, but I'm not overly attached to any particular outcome. He was nice, but he didn't blow me away iyswim. What will be will be.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 05/09/2021 20:15

Yes good to hear good news ! We need good men news
Ah I’m happy for both

Thisisworsethananticpated · 05/09/2021 20:16

Walkingalot
When you say extended visit , I hope not with you in your house ?
The very thought even gives me hives
Lord 🙈

Thisisworsethananticpated · 05/09/2021 20:18

Shayelle2009L
I know ! If my obsession totally disappeared I’d be gutted 😞 but realistically he probably will

Thisisworsethananticpated · 05/09/2021 20:20

BelladiMamma
Your ex sounds sociopathic ?
Mine actually had a good summer with their dad
But maybe because I was on the verge of a breakdown when they left , and not the funnest mum
A year of school refusal does break a woman
Somewhat !!!

Dropdeadfred2 · 05/09/2021 20:22

@Languidleopard... that doesn't sound a bad date to be fair... do you think you could fancy him??

Heartbeats0708 · 05/09/2021 20:23

Great update, sounds like a perfect weekend @MayEye I'm so glad!
I'd feel cautiously optimistic if I were you @Languidleopard and it's a good thing that you're a bit on the fence, better than total overinvestment?
Doesn't sound good at all @Naimee87 I think it'd time to let Mr Elf go for me. I think it was Bella that said it doesn't really matter what the issue was and the rights or wrongs of it are, it's the way he handled the situation.
Really good and timely food for thought on the 3 month thing and true colours starting to show as that's the point I'm at with Mr D and as we settle in to this things are becoming clearer. Not red flags, or even amber ones really, just differences that I need to be mindful of and adapt to as our histories are both a bit complex. Happy for now,and continuing to take things slowly!

RunningRain · 05/09/2021 20:32

Hi
Wonder if could join this thread. I'm new to dating

well over 40 and need advice/tips badly or at least ppl to talk to in same boat. Had a few dates (3) with Mr Lobster. He seems ok so far he's chatty. He's been away this wknd and told me he's looking forward to seeing me and my moist pie Hmm ( he sent me a photo of a steak pie, I told him it looked dry)
He then said he prefers moist ones too!! And said about my moist pie.
Not even sure what to say or reply with. Part of me thinks ewww... in fact I don't think there isn't a part of me that doesn't think ewww...it's not exactly the most turn me on phraseConfused

This this normal dating talk, I am just naive Blush

Heartbeats0708 · 05/09/2021 20:33

Wtf @RunningRain 😂😂 is he referring to your juicy cooking or what I think he's talking about?!!

RunningRain · 05/09/2021 20:38

That's a good point! I could make a joke out it about cooking!! But I do think he's taking about 'the something else'

Walkingalot · 05/09/2021 20:39

@Thisisworsethananticpated - Oh yeah! Three months this time! Due to Brexit, he can only return every 3 mths to the country he's in. Once he got a job here, he arranged to stay with a mate but even they couldn't hack him and told him to leave! We jointly own the house, which means I can't kick him out. It was awful. He always has been a useless DF. He doesn't do anything with our DS, buy him b'day or Xmas presents, pleading poverty (while he lives the life of Riley abroad). My DS loves him though and I try not to let my anger and resentment overflow to him.
@Languidleopard - If he likes you it wont matter if you're the 1st or 101st. I like your attitude though. Have you sent or received a follow up msg?