Dating thread 212 - more milk tray, less flakes

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Getbehindme

I do wonder how many end up like that on a Sunday morning. Wake up, raging boner/horn, start on the nice lady/man in your phone...

Yes. Such a shame as profile and chat was really nice

@Getbehindme

POF question, do you use the message function? I spotted a nice chap. It's confusing but I guess there's likes and also matches? I do like the functionality of it over the others. Being able to browse who's nearby, see who you've liked etc.

That's all I'm using and have hidden my profile as usual story of 100's of random likes

@Getbehindme

I do wonder how many end up like that on a Sunday morning. Wake up, raging boner/horn, start on the nice lady/man in your phone...

To be fair I can be the same but I don't sext I just get in touch and flirt a bit! Well I have been known to sext but that's only after weeks of contact!!! Not straightaway

So can you still browse and message when you're hidden? Game changer!

The Fuck wit who sexted me this morning has two profiles with 2 names 🤨 his photos were so good he's probably a cat fisher

@Getbehindme

So can you still browse and message when you're hidden? Game changer!

I think so! I'm going to delete it later. It's all a bit full on for me and annoyingly I don't have my burner phone yet so I can't have the chats off line ... I'll just grab a couple of numbers and then leave that crazy gin joint 😁

Enjoying reading all your updates. I’ve met someone on Bumble now - let’s call him Mrsingledad. We had a chat for an hour and a half on the phone last night and have a lot in common. Kids similar ages and I like that he sees his regularly. He has some health issues but that doesn’t put me off. Going to try meeting him in real life next weekend, feeling dead nervous about it but also excited! Will be my first date in over 15 years.

I WhatsApped Mr Gambit yesterday about meeting up (even though I'm still scared) and he hasn't replied, even though he's read my message, and been online since then.

I'm feeling a bit angry with him. I want to ask him what the point of getting back in touch with me was! What's fucking me off is he suggested going for coffee so I don't see why he can't just write a short message back just saying yes or no. We used to talk all the time when we were first taking so I don't get it.

Of course, he might of met someone else, but he's always mentioned when he's been talking to other girls to me. We last talked yesterday morning, and he didn't mention anything like that.

I asked my mum for advice and she told me not to message him for a few days, or call him. I want to call him and shout at him, to be honest. I thought he wanted to start afresh with me but I was clearly wrong about that.

You can all say 'I told you so' if you like

I am not downloading POF again

I am not

No

It's a ball ache to actually delete a profile

@cravingthelook

I am not downloading POF again

I am not

No

It's a ball ache to actually delete a profile

Oh god is it? Drat. I've hidden mine. Do they do that awful thing that bumble does and out it live again after you've hidden it, I think bumble do it after 21 days even if you haven't been active

Go @BelladiMamma loving the list of chats there!! 😎😎

Have a great party @Naimee87! 🥳🥳

@Shayelle2009

Go *@BelladiMamma* loving the list of chats there!! 😎😎

Other than one they're all from bumble...! Which I used in April then again in July ...

POF chats are staying in POF for now...!!

I will not join tinder again, I will not join tinder again, I will not join tinder again...

@Stayingstrongish

Enjoying reading all your updates. I’ve met someone on Bumble now - let’s call him Mrsingledad. We had a chat for an hour and a half on the phone last night and have a lot in common. Kids similar ages and I like that he sees his regularly. He has some health issues but that doesn’t put me off. Going to try meeting him in real life next weekend, feeling dead nervous about it but also excited! Will be my first date in over 15 years.

Date zero! No stress, no expectations... just a coffee ☕️

And well done 👏🏿... I think it's hard for everyone but I know what it's like after a LTR ...

@Misty9

I will not join tinder again, I will not join tinder again, I will not join tinder again...

How bad is it 😬 ... you're doing research for the thread 🤪

You can all say 'I told you so' if you like wink
Fail to understand what is with the passive aggressive spitefulness @onwardseverstridingonwards

You really would do well to look into transactional analysis therapy.

Sad thing is all I had wanted to do was congratulate you for asking MrGambit to meet for a coffee but your last line ruined your post. He could have just got back in touch for an ego boost, regardless of what he told you.

Have you thought about trying a site for others with illnesses? Then cp becomes less of an issue as any dates will be familiar with the impact an illness can have.

Genuinely wish you well.

Oh blimey I feel so inadequate compared to you ladies and your multiple dates, how on earth do you keep up with it all 😵‍💫

All chats are colder than last nights takeaway
But have met someone who seems nice and had few a promising dates

@JustAnother0ldMan

Oh blimey I feel so inadequate compared to you ladies and your multiple dates, how on earth do you keep up with it all 😵‍💫

All chats are colder than last nights takeaway
But have met someone who seems nice and had few a promising dates

I sincerely hope you don't feel inadequate ... my ridiculous amount of chats is down to:

Apparently there are more men than women on apps
I have effectively been in isolation since 17 July so have had a lot of time on my hands!
I write for a living so sending a quick hi how are you message is relatively easy for me; I just think of them as words and a conversation opener
Whilst I'm no supermodel I have some nice photos

I'm also getting much better are filtering out the crap so the chats often don't last long once I get a strange feeling about any of the interactions or if there's something that makes me think we are not relationship material I'm out of there (after a polite unmatching message)

HTH as I know that the reality of my situation is quite different from the amount of chats 😊

@Orangelady32

You can all say 'I told you so' if you like wink Fail to understand what is with the passive aggressive spitefulness *@onwardseverstridingonwards*

You really would do well to look into transactional analysis therapy.

Sad thing is all I had wanted to do was congratulate you for asking MrGambit to meet for a coffee but your last line ruined your post. He could have just got back in touch for an ego boost, regardless of what he told you.

Have you thought about trying a site for others with illnesses? Then cp becomes less of an issue as any dates will be familiar with the impact an illness can have.

Genuinely wish you well.

@Orangelady32 you seem to have a problem with me, judging by your last couple of posts. I wasn't being 'passive aggressive' or 'spiteful' to anyone. I meant it seriously.

Whatever therapy or steps I want to take is my decision.

Shame as I was actually feeling quite calm and happy this morning.

He hasn't told me why he's got back in touch with me, that's why I'm wondering.

And my CP will always be an issue. And it's not an illness, it's regarded as a medical condition.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards none of the posters have a problem with you - everyone is being honest and giving honest feedback.

I think that could be a good suggestion to see if there are other people in the same situation as you and trying to date? You could start a thread here on Mumsnet and stick with us too? That way you'd get the whole gamut of experience from all of the many wise and supportive posters here and on your new thread 🧵

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards @Orangelady32 I see that actually the suggestion was to join a dating site with other people with medical conditions. Also a good idea, it could prevent the expectations management around energy and pain levels?

'He probably got back in touch for a ego boost, regardless of what he told you.'

Wow, @Orangelady32! You sound absolutely lovely. (!)

@BelladiMamma don't worry, I know you all don't have a problem with me. I was referring specifically to OrangeLady.

Oh, do you mean like a newbie dating thread or a dating with health conditions thread? That's a cool idea. I'll look into that ❤️