Dating thread 212 - more milk tray, less flakes

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Getbehindme I was thinking exactly the same thing, so many more wanting to do the non monogamous thing now. I had one who didn't tell me till we were on the phone that he had one main one, then three others he sleeps with. I could have been one of the lucky ones in waiting. Go me!

@Getbehindme

All these profiles of men claiming to be in non monogamous marraiges/relationships.... can someone tell me if this is reflected in the female profiles too?

I saw 2/3 on bumble, usually women looking for 3some partners 🤢just not my kind of thing. Gives me the ick but they must find someone... 🤷🏻‍♀️

The Dreamer and the Fantasy... https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1492832529?ref=ppxpoppmobappshare

I've been dipping in and out of this book again as I got sooo lonely last night I messaged BeardFlake. Thank god he didn't answer and I thought I needed to give myself a good talking to so read another chapter of this. The whole dreamer thing is so me at times, I just don't know how much I can be bothered with a full on relationship so hiding in these virtual ones where everything feels perfect and lovely and we future fake together is very comforting

Thanks @Dancerinthemoonlight that sounds like a nightmare!!

Also find it grim about couples on there looking to bring in more lovers. Eww…

@Shayelle2009

Also find it grim about couples on there looking to bring in more lovers. Eww…

I got on my high horse and messaged once when one lot liked me and I was like ... there's an app for 3somes now piss off!

@BelladiMamma I often find dreams and fantasies so much better than real life 😂 how sad! 😕

[quote Shayelle2009]@BelladiMamma I often find dreams and fantasies so much better than real life 😂 how sad! 😕[/quote]
That's cos they are 😂

But with restrictions easing and with everyone able to leave the house again it should put paid to a lot of the dreaming 💭

With POF I'm not going to pay to see my likes, as usual there are loads of them. I'm just scrolling through local matches.

How are you using it?

@BelladiMamma they sure are. Occasionally dreams do come true though which is nice, and it’s always good to have hope 😬😂

I can’t see likes either and I don’t send any, I can just read and send messages, think if a guy is interested he’ll drop a message. If I don’t want to chat I just delete it or block them. You can limit who messages you too - so you don’t get 18 or 80 yr olds trying their luck! Think it’s in ‘preferences’.

I’ve also got it set too that only guys with photos can message me.

@Shayelle2009

I’ve also got it set too that only guys with photos can message me.

Yes so when I did preferences I could only set the distances to 75kms. I guess that's the only thing you can do unless you pay?

[quote Eesha]@Getbehindme I was thinking exactly the same thing, so many more wanting to do the non monogamous thing now. I had one who didn't tell me till we were on the phone that he had one main one, then three others he sleeps with. I could have been one of the lucky ones in waiting. Go me![/quote]
A harem!

If it's agreed on all sides, fabulous, but I'd need a shed load of convincing that it is.

@Getbehindme @Eesha and who knows what's been discussed IRL ... is this the kind of guy who says 'I have a high sex drive' like it's an excuse for poor behaviour?!

What's also wierd to me is how they find the time to match and date and meet enough women to keep them busy? Even if I'd have been free this summer without all my challenges there are so few meets that would actually have materialised between all the flakes and people who turned out to be not so great after a couple of days chatting ...

@BelladiMamma yeah I’m not sure how it differs to be fair, I would never pay money to them, they should be paying me to be on there if anything 😬😬

Pof is my favourite‘I’m bored and I want to chat to someone and maybe flirt’ app which I then delete😀
I had a great chat going with a guy who lives 200km away, loads of flirting, laughs, he always asking when I was visiting him, I always telling him I was on my way, neither of us expecting it to happen …was fun while I was waiting to meet a real prospect 😀

@Shayelle2009 😅 they should pay us to put up with the dross - would make it a little more tolerable

I agree @MayEye I like the format of it. I prefer it to the swiping ones. I’ve met two really good irons off there in the past.
This army guy is hot. I find it highly attractive how he’s served his country for nearly two decades. What a man!! 😍😍

Fucking right @MayEye. Hundred pounds an hour to go on there 😬😬 hehehe.

My story is pretty straight forward

Dh and I met on Bumble. Contrary to a PP saying women have to do all the work on Bumble, I don't agree. My opening line to any man on there was always 'Hi (name)` and let the conversation develop from there, or not as the case may be! In my view if men are interested you'll know about it.

I had a fair idea of the type of man I was looking for and stayed focused on that. Dh is the kindest, funniest, smartest man I could have ever imagined meeting and our lives just naturally came together. Of course we have our disagreements but as sucky as it sounds I could never have imagined meeting someone so good for me.

@Orangelady32

My story is pretty straight forward

Dh and I met on Bumble. Contrary to a PP saying women have to do all the work on Bumble, I don't agree. My opening line to any man on there was always 'Hi (name)` and let the conversation develop from there, or not as the case may be! In my view if men are interested you'll know about it.

I had a fair idea of the type of man I was looking for and stayed focused on that. Dh is the kindest, funniest, smartest man I could have ever imagined meeting and our lives just naturally came together. Of course we have our disagreements but as sucky as it sounds I could never have imagined meeting someone so good for me.

Bloody hell. Good for you.

I think it does help if you know what you're looking for. I just want someone who's kind and let's me be myself. Has very few expectations of me in terms of the whole classic 'wifey' role ....

I meant to say that the rules really are valuable. I would only add that you should make people earn the right to know you. Normal photos on the app, not your best ones, wear clothes you are comfortable in on your dates and don't reveal too much at once.

@Getbehindme

All these profiles of men claiming to be in non monogamous marraiges/relationships.... can someone tell me if this is reflected in the female profiles too?

Nope, there are not many claiming that. But there are one or two

What a lovely story orange that gives us all hope!

No update from me, zilch, nada irons!

I think we should be paid to go on pof! Can I claim back the months of chats wasted too 😄

There was me pondering on whether to give POF a go. That’ll be a no then 🤣