Dating thread 212 - more milk tray, less flakes

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@BelladiMamma i hope your daughter is okay?
I'm feeling so much more chilled today.

Also picked up my first HRT prescription so hopefully that might stop these anxiety spells

Also @isitreallyme177 if I got into a relatively serious dating relationship with someone I wouldn't feel great about being told that my new partner 'hadn't got round to it' and all for the sake of £250 each. I'd feel quite low down on their priorities if I'm honest as £250 is probably 10 meals out or dates...?!

[quote Dropdeadfred2]@BelladiMamma i hope your daughter is okay?
I'm feeling so much more chilled today.

Also picked up my first HRT prescription so hopefully that might stop these anxiety spells[/quote]
She's groggy and needs to sleep and her temperature is all over the place.

Her df hasn't even bothered calling to ask how she is 🤨 he's a total empathy bypass

@BelladiMamma that's terrible about her DF.. why are some men such tossers???

@Belladi hoping your daughter recovers, fingers crossed for negative tests for everyone else and that all of you stay well. So frustrating about DF.

On the divorce/separation thing - not sure if this applies elsewhere in the UK but in Scotland, divorce is more complicated and costly if there are children under 16. Even money and parental access have been agreed, or there's a separation agreement of some sort in place. That's another 3.5 years for me and as long as things are amicable in the meantime there is no sense at all in pushing for a divorce now that will cost £40 in three years time. Right now any dating I might do is for me first and foremost, not to get involved in what happens between XH and children. Hoping that if I need to explain that to any iron, they will understand it - but appreciate maybe I'm being too optimistic/ simplistic and/or that the situation elsewhere in the UK isn't that easy.

Sorry @BelladiMamma I missed it was your dd with covid 🤦‍♀️ 2 of my 3 got it when I did but luckily weren't too bad. Hope she's on mend soon x

Sorry about your DD Belladi
And you too , last thing you need xxx

Also sorry to hear about your daughter Bella, what a worry I hope you feel ok? X

@Slothmomma

Oh no *@belladimamma* - are you feeling ill with it or just random testing?

@isitreallyme177 I usually avoid ones not ready divorced because I know how draining/messy/complicated it can be and just don't want to go through it again - even as just an observing party. Worse with mr tall though as he mentioned when we met that his ex had said he can say if he's seeing anyone. He said that she thinks that's the reason he ended the marriage but it isn't. However I didn't want to get involved where an ex thinks someone else was the reason for the marriage ending and maybe file for adultery and name me! Having been cheated on its nothing something I want to be dragged into.

I think adultery has to be while they were together for it to be the reason for the divorce, or at most within 6m or something. Do people still get named? My dad was named in my mum's divorce from her first husband, but I thought that practice had ended.

I also swipe left on anyone who says separate on their profile, I’d be too worried about them going back.. however I know that can happen between any two people..

‘Separated’ sorry

Sorry to hear @BelladiMamma wishing her a speedy recovery!
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards lovely to hear from you! You're course will be great once you get into it. I knew nothing about mine then by the end was doing presentations on it to the 'class' of overweight-middle aged (sexy) trucker-men! Glad to hear MrGambits on the scene too!

So not text MrE at all today nor have i heard anything from him either. Not sure if i'm supposed to be texting him to arrange to meet. I had thought as he'd told me he was off with friends in another city today he'd tell me when he was home. Hmmm the way i'm feeling i can't really be bothered texting him to find out? What exactly is the correct thing to do here? Not helping that Magnet-man's been popping up again. Such a strange turn of events in my little world right now!

And just as I was on the phone to my dad, who'd called to see how DD was, exh's number comes up on my phone. I cut dad off thinking exh is worried about Dd and wants to know how she is.

Oh no. Silly me. Cue a tirade about track and trace, me wanting him to go to prison, did I not know how busy and important he was, I'm trying to ruin his life, his career and why did I buy that bed in the January sales and why did I engage a lawyer to run my divorce and ... and .... all of this from a man who is one of the top earners in the country and sits on the board of approximately 8 companies and couldn't be arsed to actually read the track and trace email which asked him to take a pcr test as he was double jabbed.

🤦🏻‍♀️

I actually think he's lost it, but I really don't care anymore. I tried to help him for 23 years and now I'm outta there.

He's completely off his rocker.

Have spoken to DD and DS and pre warned them in case he gets angry with them, and explained the facts.

Never ever think that someone who is successful in their career and has all the trappings is in any way a healthy or balanced person. In all likelihood they're not. I'm sad for my DC that I chose this utter dick to the their father. But I'm not scared of him anymore.

@Naimee87

Sorry to hear *@BelladiMamma* wishing her a speedy recovery! *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* lovely to hear from you! You're course will be great once you get into it. I knew nothing about mine then by the end was doing presentations on it to the 'class' of overweight-middle aged (sexy) trucker-men! Glad to hear MrGambits on the scene too!

So not text MrE at all today nor have i heard anything from him either. Not sure if i'm supposed to be texting him to arrange to meet. I had thought as he'd told me he was off with friends in another city today he'd tell me when he was home. Hmmm the way i'm feeling i can't really be bothered texting him to find out? What exactly is the correct thing to do here? Not helping that Magnet-man's been popping up again. Such a strange turn of events in my little world right now!

I would ignore MrE until he gets in touch.

However with my previous experience I'd just say, don't let him in if he turns up unexpectedly.

@VanGoghsDog I'm not really clear on it as my ex admitted to his adultery for our divorce but my understanding was she could file on those grounds within 6 months of finding out about the adultery which I assume dating someone else would be classified as whilst still married in eyes of law. Just not something I want to be dragged into

[quote Slothmomma]@VanGoghsDog I'm not really clear on it as my ex admitted to his adultery for our divorce but my understanding was she could file on those grounds within 6 months of finding out about the adultery which I assume dating someone else would be classified as whilst still married in eyes of law. Just not something I want to be dragged into[/quote]
Dating itself isn't adultery, only shagging is :)

But I do agree, I'd rather not date someone still married.

[quote Slothmomma]@VanGoghsDog I'm not really clear on it as my ex admitted to his adultery for our divorce but my understanding was she could file on those grounds within 6 months of finding out about the adultery which I assume dating someone else would be classified as whilst still married in eyes of law. Just not something I want to be dragged into[/quote]
Is that in England?

Tbh I'm not clear on it either but I think my lawyer told me that we could file on grounds of adultery but that it wasn't worth it given my ex's personality. We could have named 2 lucky ladies! Frankly I was delighted that someone else wanted to take him on ...

i agree with @Shayelle2009 about getting involved someone 'separated.' Depends on how the family dynamics are i suppose but would be hard to shake the feeling that they could reconcile?

@BelladiMamma god your ex sounds like a massive headache! I'm giving MrE half an hour then calling it a day been in meetings and am so zoomed out, need a good walk with the dog to calm my head!

@BelladiMamma

And just as I was on the phone to my dad, who'd called to see how DD was, exh's number comes up on my phone. I cut dad off thinking exh is worried about Dd and wants to know how she is.

Oh no. Silly me. Cue a tirade about track and trace, me wanting him to go to prison, did I not know how busy and important he was, I'm trying to ruin his life, his career and why did I buy that bed in the January sales and why did I engage a lawyer to run my divorce and ... and .... all of this from a man who is one of the top earners in the country and sits on the board of approximately 8 companies and couldn't be arsed to actually read the track and trace email which asked him to take a pcr test as he was double jabbed.

🤦🏻‍♀️

I actually think he's lost it, but I really don't care anymore. I tried to help him for 23 years and now I'm outta there.

He's completely off his rocker.

Have spoken to DD and DS and pre warned them in case he gets angry with them, and explained the facts.

Never ever think that someone who is successful in their career and has all the trappings is in any way a healthy or balanced person. In all likelihood they're not. I'm sad for my DC that I chose this utter dick to the their father. But I'm not scared of him anymore.

@BelladiMamma be thankful that you had the strength to leave this toxic person and that you only have to maintain limited contact with him. His response is off the scale insensitive and self-obsessed!

I hope your Dd isn't feeling too rubbish and that you and the rest of your family stay symptom free 🤞

[quote Naimee87]@BelladiMamma god your ex sounds like a massive headache! I'm giving MrE half an hour then calling it a day been in meetings and am so zoomed out, need a good walk with the dog to calm my head![/quote]
That sounds like a much better plan!

And yes he's a headache but thank god I'm out of it

Thanks @Languidleopard

No wonder I was such a mess when I finally brought it to an end

Onwards and upwards and positivity only now ❤️ in my life

@Naimee87

Sorry to hear *@BelladiMamma* wishing her a speedy recovery! *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* lovely to hear from you! You're course will be great once you get into it. I knew nothing about mine then by the end was doing presentations on it to the 'class' of overweight-middle aged (sexy) trucker-men! Glad to hear MrGambits on the scene too!

So not text MrE at all today nor have i heard anything from him either. Not sure if i'm supposed to be texting him to arrange to meet. I had thought as he'd told me he was off with friends in another city today he'd tell me when he was home. Hmmm the way i'm feeling i can't really be bothered texting him to find out? What exactly is the correct thing to do here? Not helping that Magnet-man's been popping up again. Such a strange turn of events in my little world right now!

@Naimee87 thank you 😊 your comments have made me feel a lot better.

I'm really glad that me and Mr Gambit are back on again. We mainly talk on weekends because he can't use his mobile phone very much at work. I'm still a bit nervous about what might happen in the future, but I do really like him and he makes me feel really happy ❤️

@BelladiMamma - hope your DD has a speedy recovery and you don't get it!

Nothing to report here. My b'day tomorrow and nothing planned! Might take myself off to the cinema.

[quote Walkingalot]@BelladiMamma - hope your DD has a speedy recovery and you don't get it!

Nothing to report here. My b'day tomorrow and nothing planned! Might take myself off to the cinema.[/quote]
Happy Birthday for tomorrow!! it's mine on Friday... enjoy the cinema. I love watching films on my own