Dating thread 212 - more milk tray, less flakes

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I've actually changed BeardFlakeTwirlMagnetSexGod's contact details to 'DO NOT TEXT THIS MAN'

😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

@BelladiMamma

I've actually changed BeardFlakeTwirlMagnetSexGod's contact details to 'DO NOT TEXT THIS MAN'

😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Love it !! Will it last though???

@Naimee87 I am so much happier and more calm now you are right. No mood sucking lodger and no court case hanging over me(and to be proved I was right in a court of law). It's so nice having breakfast without her constantly moaning about something. I sit in my study and just enjoy the peace and quiet now when I'm working. This morning I'm listening to the birds in the garden and the planes in the sky (wondering if Mr Cricket is flying one of them🤦‍♀️🤣). I think I'm going back to the office soon, that's why Mr Cricket and I fitted time in to see each other for coffee and a catch up. As much as I like working from home, Mr Cricket is right, a bit of normality will be good for me. I think this might be a new start for me and I'm looking forward to seeing what comes my way.

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Get behind At least he is real life ! So what was his last encounter with you exactly ?

Ooohh encounter! What I'd give for an encounter. We were attempting to organise a meet/walk before the holidays, then all the kids were sent home to isolate. I texted a few times in the holidays, hinted we might both be free at some point in the holidays but no dice. Last text exhlchange was a few weeks ago and he let that one drift. Ran into him last week had a nice quick chat and now we're back into the routine of seeing each other on the school runs.

If he is interested, then the ball is squarly in his court to initiate something. I thought maybe I'd gone mad and made it up, but there's definitely a vibe between us. Sorry for the use of the word vibe. It's the only way to describe it!

@BelladiMamma

I've actually changed BeardFlakeTwirlMagnetSexGod's contact details to 'DO NOT TEXT THIS MAN'

😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Good idea!

Well I guess you have to sit on your hands , wear your sexiest school run outfit and smoulder
I’m doing that and don’t fancy a single school dad

Let him make a move
It’s exciting though !

I can’t do that Belladi
I’m so pathetic , the minute obsession texts me I text back

We were doing great and then our Friday night Sexting was a dud and we haven’t spoken since

This is so fucking pathetic I know 🙈

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Well I guess you have to sit on your hands , wear your sexiest school run outfit and smoulder I’m doing that and don’t fancy a single school dad

Let him make a move
It’s exciting though !

I can’t do that Belladi
I’m so pathetic , the minute obsession texts me I text back

We were doing great and then our Friday night Sexting was a dud and we haven’t spoken since

This is so fucking pathetic I know 🙈

Can i ask. Hope was the sexting a dud?? Had you done it before??

@BelladiMamma i have uncoded magnet-man and he's back to his original name. But thought numerous times to do the same. I was much like you @Thisisworsethananticpated jumped at every text. Luckily i'm able to let them sit a while before replying.

I've text MrE and said we need to talk and suggested tomorrow night in town. Hard to know whether he realises what this means. Haven't given him any idication i'm ending things but he knew how upset i was yesterday when he left and since then we've exchanged hardly any messages.

@Isitreallyme177 that sounds lovely. My friend reminded me this morning that when i met MrE i wasn't fully over magnet-man but i was in a good place. My relationship with my son was great, he'd had far fewer problems in school than ever before, i'd passed my truck tests and (hopefully i can type this without jinxing it) my managers seem to be content with my work. I was getting back out 'socialising' again. And then he walked in and everything just got so complicated. He really took over and i think in the past i'd have let him as i so desired a partner but for some reason i can look in on this relationship from the outside and see it's not want i want at all. Did you say in your post that you and MrCricket are on for a coffee soon? Hope that's enjoyable for you both. I'm still in home-office and admittedly the thought of 'office-life' scared the beejeeezus out of me. But we've no guidance yet on when to return and apparently numbers here are increasing. So i'm thinking it'll still be quite some time before we are expected to be there. Always love chatting with you! Love the whole thread! The last few months/weeks would have been mighty tough without it! [heart]

Can i ask. Hope was the sexting a dud?? Had you done it before??

On and off and it’s gone well 🙈 but since kids are back I am less horny , and I didn’t respond like I usually would
Then he said something I didn’t like and I called
Him on it

Ah the joy 🤩 of being a FT mum
I’m literally so anxious today , not dating but work and house and school refusal that I can’t function

So not feeling flirty

@Thisisworsethananticpated FT mum is 'all-consuming' isn't it! Filtering in dating and you've so many emotions thrown at you and have to try to keep DCs safe too. I feel like a failure at the minute with mine! Poor little man! I'm hoping a good session with our Family Therapist will help us navigate back to the even-keel we had before all this kicked off. It's not easy! But this 'sexting' stuff has got me curious i've never been keen on this. Other than with magnet-man but i'm so sure this was very very light! Don't think i could be doing it with somone i wasn't actually sleeping with!

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Can i ask. Hope was the sexting a dud?? Had you done it before??

On and off and it’s gone well 🙈 but since kids are back I am less horny , and I didn’t respond like I usually would
Then he said something I didn’t like and I called
Him on it

Ah the joy 🤩 of being a FT mum
I’m literally so anxious today , not dating but work and house and school refusal that I can’t function

So not feeling flirty

Aww is hard when you're sitting at home with the kids there surrounded by domesticity etc.. I think sexting is great when it works but it can be so awkward... watching them type replies etc an bbc as you say it only takes one thing said that you dont like to kill the mood

@Mynameisbetter

Hi all, first-time poster in this thread. Split with my DW of 10 years earlier this year, trying to get back out there. I'm finding it really hard. The online dating scene is trciky to navigate at the best of times but I have 2 kids and am feeling like nobody is interested in getting to know a guy with children.

Tempted to remove the fact I have kids in my profile, just so I have the opportunity to meet people. Any advice?

Most of my boyfriends have had kids (I don't), not sure it bothers people but if it does then they self deselect, don't they? I think it's best to be clear that you have kids

@BelladiMamma

I've actually changed BeardFlakeTwirlMagnetSexGod's contact details to 'DO NOT TEXT THIS MAN'

😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Why not just block him? Then you can't text without consciously unblocking.

@VanGoghsDog I've done that too. This reminder to myself is, I hope, going to be more useful as it tells me to pause before sending.

MrBuilder just called me out of the blue to try to get a date set up (nothing yet).

He has a lovely voice. Which is just as well because he spoke for 40 minutes non stop. I'm not sure I said more than 2 sentences?!

@BelladiMamma

He’s not a prospect and never was - whatever he’s said on chat and over the phone could all be (and probably was) all total fantasy - he may be married or have a long term partner, or not have the “dashing sex god persona” he presented virtually and over chat. Meeting for coffee would have blown that cover.

Look at his actions, not his typed out lines.

@Mynameisbetter I’m looking for dads on the apps as I have kids myself. I’ve already had one guy say he’s not looking for someone with kids as young as mine. I’ll just keep trying I guess, I can’t hide that I have them for long.

Being plagued by idiotic sex pests on Tinder currently, this is one from last night. I'd only exchanged two messages with him. Obviously I unmatched after that last message.

@Mynameisbetter

I think if you don’t say upfront, you’ll get childfree matches agreeing to meet or chatting for a bit but then flaking when they find out? I’m sure some women are actually looking for someone who has kids themselves?

@VanGoghsDog

Being plagued by idiotic sex pests on Tinder currently, this is one from last night. I'd only exchanged two messages with him. Obviously I unmatched after that last message.

Strong communication 😂😁 skills

You're more patient than me. I just unmatch

@BelladiMamma 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️😂😂

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@BelladiMamma

He’s not a prospect and never was - whatever he’s said on chat and over the phone could all be (and probably was) all total fantasy - he may be married or have a long term partner, or not have the “dashing sex god persona” he presented virtually and over chat. Meeting for coffee would have blown that cover.

Look at his actions, not his typed out lines.[/quote]
This is so true, and is the only thing that makes sense.

MrBuilder and MrTattoo are now texting loads trying to arrange more meets and chats ... BeardFlake had this incredible series of weekends away planned then just flaked like a crumbly piece of confectionery ... now I've been downgraded from 'hot' to 'a lovely kind woman' in his texts ... a bit like his Mum I suppose 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Naimee87 I love chatting to you your posts are always positive and helpful. I think you just know if something isn't right, if you have your life sorted and something comes and disrupts it and it doesn't make you happy then you have to do something about it. My problem is I'm set in my ways so to speak and would hate for a man to come in and mess it up. Maybe why friend zoning Mr Cricket was a good thing.

I just had a consultation with my personal trainer and I can see we'll get on well. He seems a lot of fun. This girl is going to get that confidence back lol.

Yes I'm seeing Mr Cricket for coffee, I suggested doing something and he suggested the date(he is flying and has training this week). It will be nice to have a catch up. I may plant the seed about a joint birthday night out too .

BeardFlake had this incredible series of weekends away planned then just flaked like a crumbly piece of confectionery

But as you had not met, that behavior was a red flag itself, surely? I mean you don't plan an incredible series of weekends away with someone you've never met.

It's a combination of love bombing and future faking. But it's generally, in my not very humble opinion, just weird.

@VanGoghsDog

BeardFlake had this incredible series of weekends away planned then just flaked like a crumbly piece of confectionery

But as you had not met, that behavior was a red flag itself, surely? I mean you don't plan an incredible series of weekends away with someone you've never met.

It's a combination of love bombing and future faking. But it's generally, in my not very humble opinion, just weird.

I agree!