Be honest. If a man expected you...

[AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit]

to split the bill on a first date would it put you off?

Not sure where I read it, it there was a great piece about how women used to need a man because they were not supposed to work, so to raise a family and have a roof over their heads they had to put up with a bad relationship.
That Now woman have choice a man needs to work at being dateable, and the men don't like that.

I care what he thinks if I like him.

The only thing about women that wear makeup every day is that they look no different when go out out.

@HateJudgmentalPeople

I care what he thinks if I like him.

The only thing about women that wear makeup every day is that they look no different when go out out.

Another assumption there. There isn't just one way to do make up for day and going out.

You need a man to like you for who you are. Not to worry about what he thinks if you like him.

I did say most men like a made up woman but they don’t admit it. They also don’t really know what makeup looks like. When they say they don’t like makeup they’re imagining the heavy drag queen type stuff. You also get the school of men that purposely tell their wives and gf they look better ai natural. Very convenient because it keeps other men away and means they don’t have to fo as much to keep their wife of girlfriend.

It depends.

If we both ate the same amount , both had a drink then I’d happily throw in £20 to a £37 bill knowing I’d given enough to cover my share of the tip too.

If he ate three courses, drank a full bottle of wine and four beers and I had a main only and two gins, and he said “let’s go Dutch” I’d feel put out.

If the bill was £42.70 and he got out a calculator to work out that I owed £21.35 or worse still

“you had the sea bass at £14. a gin at£4.30 and a glass of Pinot at £7.50 so you owe £25.80 “ I’d have him pencilled in as tight.

There’s no fun to be had from dating a tight person.

So context isn’t everything.

I have dumped guys for paying the bill to the exact Penny.

context is everything

You also get the school of men that purposely tell their wives and gf they look better ai natural. Very convenient because it keeps other men away and means they don’t have to fo as much to keep their wife of girlfriend.

It’s not possible they actually do prefer their partner without make up?

When I’ve been out wearing make up/not it hasn’t made any difference to whether I’ve been hit on or not.

You also get the school of men that purposely tell their wives and gf they look better ai natural. Very convenient because it keeps other men away

Some definitely look better natural.. and I’m not ever a man with interests in these women I talk of. They’re just family/friends.

Most men who say they prefer the natural look are talking bollocks and don't realise that even the natural look probably involves some make up! I've had a man tell me that he liked I wasn't wearing any make up on our first date...I had a full face of make up on!

@Comedycook

Most men who say they prefer the natural look are talking bollocks and don't realise that even the natural look probably involves some make up! I've had a man tell me that he liked I wasn't wearing any make up on our first date...I had a full face of make up on!

So true.

@PurpleDaisies

You also get the school of men that purposely tell their wives and gf they look better ai natural. Very convenient because it keeps other men away and means they don’t have to fo as much to keep their wife of girlfriend.

It’s not possible they actually do prefer their partner without make up?

When I’ve been out wearing make up/not it hasn’t made any difference to whether I’ve been hit on or not.

You must be a rare beauty then. Congratulations

I’m not a “rare beauty”. Whether you’re attractive to others is about far more than whether you’ve got eyeliner on, have long hair and are wearing a dress. Being confident and funny has always worked well for me.

Yep if he liked me. Something called romance

@PurpleDaisies

I’m not a “rare beauty”. Whether you’re attractive to others is about far more than whether you’ve got eyeliner on, have long hair and are wearing a dress. Being confident and funny has always worked well for me.

The problem is that people often make statements that ought to be true rather than ones that actually are.

One of my best male friends is a relationship counsellor and we discuss this topic quite frequently. And he has told me this:
Based on his experience of talking to 100’s of man and women about this.

1. Men like a feminine woman. Dolled up, slim and agreeable.
2. Men will tell women to tone it down when they are in a relationship, to make them less attractive to other men. Like my friend calls it there is no longer a need for advertisement.
3. If you are pretty enough in a mans eyes he will go to the lengths of the earth for you. See this as the “insert pretty actress/singer” complex. If a man had a chance to date her he would never ask her to split/ not be chivalrous or generous even though she makes a million times more money then him.
4. Men don’t care about the money you make. Because deep down he believes it’s his job to provide. And if you are point number 1. He will try his best to give you the best in his ability.
5. A man will date you to have an easy life till the woman he truly wants comes along.

I keep this in the back of my mind when dating.
And when a man doesn’t show traits of chivalry/ generosity and I would have to chase him. He is just not that into me.

Oow yes and I forgot this one:
For men dating is a numbers game. With the goal of having regular sex. A man knows (most men) that the women are gatekeepers of sex. And men are the gatekeepers of marriage. And he will do as little as possible (when he doesn’t truly fancy you) to get his goal.
In the early dating stages men are just weighing up how much do I need to spend to get into her knickers.

@Dweetfidilove

It's always amazing how the supposed feminist sneer at women who prefer a traditional set up. Whatever happened to feminism being about choice.

Yes, feminism partly involved women having more choices. It’s principally about equality between the sexes, though.

But not every choice made by a woman is a feminist choice (loads of mine aren’t) and it’s fine to question some of those choices and the potential impact on both the individual and society.

Just like opinions, not all choices are equally deserving of respect, though I will (generally - there are limits) strongly defend your right to make or hold them even if I question whether or not they’re bonkers.

That’s an interestingly self-selecting sample he’s working off there @NLisa.

Does your relationship counsellor only take on knuckledraggers as clients, @NLisa? Interesting practice.

@JassyRadlett
I can’t say, he is the one who studied psychology and works with people in this capacity. The only thing I can say is that as a woman living in two countries. I see what he says happening in real life. I am sure it’s NAMLT. But on average it’s true.

@NLisa

One of my best male friends is a relationship counsellor and we discuss this topic quite frequently. And he has told me this: Based on his experience of talking to 100’s of man and women about this.

1. Men like a feminine woman. Dolled up, slim and agreeable.
2. Men will tell women to tone it down when they are in a relationship, to make them less attractive to other men. Like my friend calls it there is no longer a need for advertisement.
3. If you are pretty enough in a mans eyes he will go to the lengths of the earth for you. See this as the “insert pretty actress/singer” complex. If a man had a chance to date her he would never ask her to split/ not be chivalrous or generous even though she makes a million times more money then him.
4. Men don’t care about the money you make. Because deep down he believes it’s his job to provide. And if you are point number 1. He will try his best to give you the best in his ability.
5. A man will date you to have an easy life till the woman he truly wants comes along.

I keep this in the back of my mind when dating.
And when a man doesn’t show traits of chivalry/ generosity and I would have to chase him. He is just not that into me.

As unpleasant as all of this is. It's unfortunate that it's true.

And that's why I continually argue that there currently is no equality between men and women.

@LargeBouquet

Does your relationship counsellor only take on knuckledraggers as clients, *@NLisa*? Interesting practice.

I think that list is broadly true...a lot of men talk a good game of equality but it's often a veneer disguising their true feelings

The Rules works on exactly the same theories of male desire. It’s distasteful in this day and age but it’s absolutely true for the vast majority of men

@chocolateorangeinhaler

Why would you even be expecting a man to pay for food for you on a first date?

Do you not work, are you a princess ??

Women work hard for equality don't slip into the worn out crap that a man has to pay for the lady because it suits your purse. You pay 50/50.

Foodie calls 😆

www.insider.com/women-go-on-dates-for-free-food-narcissism-psychopathy-2019-6

At the end of the day, we're still just mammals and the rules of biology still apply. Men like attractive, women and women like strong men...having an attractive, healthy mate to procreate with is nature's way of increasing our chances of continuing the species