Be honest. If a man expected you...

[AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit]

to split the bill on a first date would it put you off?

Maybe natural femininity = makep goes from full to panto dame?

It's always amazing how the supposed feminist sneer at women who prefer a traditional set up.
Whatever happened to feminism being about choice.

It's not that I worry they'd have any expectation if they paid, it's that I'm another adult person and wouldn't want a man to pay for me.

We may earn less than them but can usually afford a meal or drink if we choose the right venue.

And I'm not even earning due to disability.

I am intrigued what is meant by natural femininity and how it increases

@NiceGerbil I'm imaging simpering and pandering to men's egoes. Or maybe that's just me.

@Dweetfidilove

It's always amazing how the supposed feminist sneer at women who prefer a traditional set up. Whatever happened to feminism being about choice.

How do you know whether whichever posters you were thinking of would describe themselves as feminists?

Do I need to find that one and report back

^ reply to me4real

Just thought. A traditional set up means different things to different people. Here and elsewhere in the world!

I'm English background for years.

Is a traditional set up like my great aunt who had to give up work when she got pregnant?

My great gran who had 12 children and was widowed and lived in poverty?

Moving to now. My neighbours up the road who are v Christian of a branch that means they do man head of household. Wife and daughters respect that. They dress modestly I believe the term is. Long skirts etc. I asked her to sign a thing to say photo was me. No no that's his sort of thing. She doesn't leave the house much.

Which tradition and at what point in time and in which societal group?

Yeah. I mean, I'd decline bc I fear 'owing' them anything but it's nice to be asked.

Out of interest. I've always had first dates in the pub. Relaxed and casual. If get on can stay if not can get out.

Simple decisions. I mean it's natural to take turns at the bar. A convention. No worries about where to go. Wine? Sniff? Pay? Expectation or not good? Easy to get far too pissed. Restaurants Atmos also massively affects whole experience.

I would never choose a restaurant for a first date.

For those who do this often or as standard. Why do you like that venue? Properly interested!

Even my friends who think the man should chase ask pay etc do a drink for first date.

What sort of restaurants?

I basically don't want a man who believes we currently hold equal advantage. Because I don't believe we do.And I want a man who is generous, because I am - to a fault, and I don't want to be abused for that again.

Quite 👏

Men who insist on paying aren't doing it to make a profound feminist statement though are they.

I just don’t understand this whole I’m not equal, society disadvantages me, so I should be bought dinner to make up for it mentality

If it's a first date then I'd be put off if he tried to pay. I'd expect (and want) to split it.

It's many, many years since I've been on a date, but do people ask each other to dinner? I'd sort of assumed a first date was a mutually agreed thing, rather than a formal "can I take you out to dinner?" . If it's mutually agreed then I'd absolutely expect to pay.

I don't like the mindset of anyone expecting to be paid for. Women or men.

I also don't like the mindset of many men where they think women are gold diggers because some expect them to foot the bill for a date they asked for and think everyone wants a piece of their heavily mortgaged property (if they even have one).

I baffled they think they have anything worth taking as the majority don't and I do better than many of them in terms of wage. I don't need anyone to support me and it makes me ill that men think women are after their money. Its an ego thing maybe.

Of he chose the venue and chose somewhere expensive I'd be totally pissed off if he expected me to go 50/50. If where to meet was a joint decision then I would expect to go 50:50, as long as our costs were roughly similar.

We split the bill and I prefer it. We both work, we both should contribute.

Why would you even be expecting a man to pay for food for you on a first date?

Do you not work, are you a princess ??

Women work hard for equality don't slip into the worn out crap that a man has to pay for the lady because it suits your purse. You pay 50/50.

Most men do like women to look pretty and feminine. Dress, makeup, longer hair… They also do behave more chivalrous around those types of women. It’s doesn’t make them monsters. Why is them desiring those things a problem? It’s only a problem for those who can’t be arsed making themselves up and think they should still have men queuing up to date them 😂

It’s only a problem for those who can’t be arsed making themselves up and think they should still have men queuing up to date them

Choosing not keep your hair long, or to wear trousers, or not to wear make up isn’t “not being arsed”. Who needs men queuing up to date you anyway?

This thread is so depressing.

I only wear makeup on special occasions and every time I’ve met a man in the past then I’ve never had makeup on, not all men like makeup.

Same @HateJudgmentalPeople

Dh prefers my hair shorter and no make up. He’s probably lying though.

Not dated in years but I think I'd feel more comfortable and less pressure if we split.
Having said that, in First Dates whenever the guy splits the bill it goes down like a sack of 💩 so maybe you need to have actually been in the situation to know!

@HateJudgmentalPeople

I only wear makeup on special occasions and every time I’ve met a man in the past then I’ve never had makeup on, not all men like makeup.

And if they don't like make up they shouldn't have an issue with women who do.

Who cares what they think