Be honest. If a man expected you...

[AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit]

to split the bill on a first date would it put you off?

A relationship expert on TikTok from Aussie, Jake Maddox, thinks that men should pay first, he says it’s just the way it is.

@PatriciaBateman - if you filter out the “we are equal” men, I think you will be left with the “traditional” (ie men pay for women, women are worth less and have a particular role, etc).

Ultimately it’s a first date we are talking about here. Not property sharing after a long marriage with different roles. A first date. And if you wouldn’t even consider a second date with someone because they didn’t offer to pay for you in 2021, that’s pretty off imo.

What if the woman has a more dominant wooing type of personality and the man is more than happy to follow the lead and get told how handsome he looks etc?

@Itsbeen84yearss

Isn’t it ok though that some women do not want the process of dating someone new to be so lacking in traditional chivalry? I mean I look back on when Dh and I first met as one of the most exciting times of my life and I know he feels the same because he still talks about it and even recreates dates we had five years on. He loved surprising me with gifts, trips away and nice restaurants he’d researched. He wanted to impress and I was happy to be impressed. Both parties happy. Of course these things would have been useless without an actual spark and good conversation but they were still nice. It’s not necessarily about money but I knew he was really serious because of the time and effort he consistently put into planning dates and surprises he thought I’d enjoy. Knowing he was serious meant I felt more at ease and was probably more open and receptive to him than I would have been if he hadn’t been as generous.

I don't think that anyone, anywhere in the last 21 pages has said that couples shouldn't treat each other? Just that, on a first date where you would be getting to know each other better (and if online dating, meeting each other for the first time), the fairest thing to do is to split it.

Oh oops.

Plenty of men would be more than happy to avoid this whole minefield by the woman saying let's split the bill when it comes...

I think anyway.

@HateJudgmentalPeople

A relationship expert on TikTok from Aussie, Jake Maddox, thinks that men should pay first, he says it’s just the way it is.

Well, you can't argue with such compelling logic.

@CayrolBaaaskin - I am entirely incompatible with both those types, so I would like to imagine there are men with more nuanced views (as there are women).

I will strike off a second date if they have a pimple I don't like joke, really, god, it's a joke , our dating choices don't have to agree, if anything - more choice for you, right!

I've planned surprise breaks for DH including fancy restaurants etc.

Was that all wrong then? He was extremely surprised happy wow etc...!

I also sometimes buy him flowers. And I often tell him he's looking very handsome

Horses for courses surely.

I would expect to split the bill but depends how I was asked if I'd assume he'd offer. Like if he says can I take you out for dinner some time then I'd assume he thinks he's paying. Just as if I asked that of someone I'd mean I'm taking them out and paying for it.

But it's been a long time since I had to bother with this. When I met my husband he didn't even have a job so I was paying anyway but that started as casual teen dating. 23 years later he has more than made up for it and makes triple what I do so pays for most things these days.

@HateJudgmentalPeople

A relationship expert on TikTok from Aussie, Jake Maddox, thinks that men should pay first, he says it’s just the way it is.

A career advisor on Forbes suggests that’s a bad idea and contributes to the gender gap.

www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2020/02/12/who-should-pay-for-dates-how-chivalry-contributes-to-the-gender-pay-gap

I have never been out for a meal as a first date.

Why not a drink see how it goes?

At Mac Donald's or a cafe? Yes. Even though I wouldn't say anything, it's just nice to offer to pay, for first impressions

At a sit down restaurant, I'd assume it was split anyway. Would still appreciate the gesture though

On a first date?
I've only been on OLDates to coffee shops or pubs as a first date (they are mostly not experiences I wanted to repeat and so I don't want to pay fir an expensive meal with someone I'm not interested in) so I don't who pays the bill......unless I'm interested in the guy, then I hope he pays and I will get the next one because I'm hoping to see them again.
I'm always happy to split the bill when I'm dating, but I also want to see the guys isn't mean or insolvent - those things are very important to me as I wouldn't ever be happy with a guy who couldn't hold his own financially

First date I would pay half. And probably on subsequent dates I would too. I think you need to have some kind of knowledge of each other and where things might be going just a little bit before anyone gets into paying for dates.

I once had a flatmate who was actually quite a nice person, but he would go on lots of dates and take women to fancy restaurants on the first date and then was always angry and annoyed and pissed off afterwards that He had paid out all this money and got nothing back for it. Yeah he was a Prince! .

I have plenty female friends who see getting drinks bought as some kind of win or ego boost or something.

And would and do 100% expect the man to 'treat them' on dates.

Not my cup of tea and don't really get it. But they're perfectly nice people.

Well apart from when it comes to that I suppose!

It's a whole complicated thing around social norms and roles, how men and women are valued and loads of other stuff.

@HateJudgmentalPeople

A relationship expert on TikTok from Aussie, Jake Maddox, thinks that men should pay first, he says it’s just the way it is.

Oh well in that case...

I'm bored so looked up Jake. Not on tiktok but yay! That doesn't matter.

Laydees here's the man himself:

www.tiktok.com/tag/jakemaddock

Clicked on one at random-

Do you think when women meet their perfect (I think it was) other half their natural feminity increases because they feel safe?

Jake gives a firm YES to this but I admit I didn't listen further.

I am intrigued what is meant by natural femininity and how it increases...

No... especially if it was a bad date I'd more than happily split to avoid any mixed messages

Depends on the circumstances and the date. When I was younger it wouldn’t have bothered me at all but now I’d certainly wonder why the asked me…

@NiceGerbil

I am intrigued what is meant by natural femininity and how it increases...

We flick our hair and push out our boobs??

@NiceGerbil

I am intrigued what is meant by natural femininity and how it increases...

In inverse proportion to one's willingness to pay for one's own food, apparently.

I dunno this is the Australian fella.

I took a sqiz at one where he said that men who say they are more than fine with women being no makep and loads of fun are LYING!

All men want a done up made up woman. End of story.

Heed those words of wisdom laydees :D