We are just talking about dinner jassy It is okay for a man, even an unmanly one whatever that is, to pay.
Yes, we’re talking about a specific dinner in fact - a first date, and not whether it’s okay for a man to pay but whether he should be expected to pay lest he be considered unmanly, ungenerous or the many other epithets used on this thread.
I can't stand mean spirited behaviour in anyone, it does not have to be a date, but I drop friends that are penny pinchers.^
Me too. But I don’t think that analogous to expecting a man to fully pay on a first date rather than halving the bill.
I can't stand it unless there are struggling financially. I am a kind, generous and warm person, and I like to be surrounded by other warm, kind and generous people.
Me too. I’d hate any man I’d gone out to dinner with to think I wasn’t kind and generous and willing to share the costs.
If I didn't have boundaries around penny pinchers then they would in time take advantage of my generosity. So yes I definitely look for someone who shares me values.
We have a similar approach, just a fundamentally different attitude to whether men should be expected to pay on the first date to demonstrate they have those values. I’m not treating a first date as a test of whether he’s ‘generous enough’ - why wouldn’t he be doing the same to me, in that case?
Honestly, my sole argument here is that it’s bonkers and archaic to assume a man is unkind, ungenerous, unmanly, ungentlemanly or whatever if he’d prefer to halve the bill on the first date.