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Original poster

Is my Gf being fair with finances?

165 replies

jones88 · 31/08/2021 14:36

ive recently moved in with my gf. She has two dc from a previous relationship. I will be contributing enough money to cover her bills and rent (we have already agreed to this, she would not have let me move in otherwise and hers is cheaper than when I was renting alone) but she now wants me to pay the weekly grocery shop too. This leaves her with more or less her full wage + money from ex for children. When ive said to take the money out of what I give her, she says that I eat a lot more than her and her kids and that its only 'fair'. She said she will save her wage for holidays for all of us so that I dont need to contribute when we go away. Is she taking the piss out of me or is this fair

OP posts:
PositiveLife · 31/08/2021 15:26

Want to move in with me? I wouldn't mind having everything paid for me Hmm

She's taking the piss. If she's losing out on some benefits by you moving in, then I can understand you paying the shortfall as she shouldn't end up worse off but you shouldn't be paying everything. I doubt your using more groceries than 1 adult plus 2 kids either. How old are the kids - I reckon mine cost way more than my food.

Bonheurdupasse · 31/08/2021 15:34

She’s completely taking advantage of you.

Move out, better, break up.

AdmiralCain · 31/08/2021 15:36

It seems your Cheeky f*cker girlfriend played Skivvy Bingo and she believes she won and she won you, to be be her skivvy for the rest of time. Please don't be a muggins!!

Original poster
jones88 · 31/08/2021 15:39

she doesn't get benefits so its not that. Her children are still young (under 7). I agreed to pay the rent and bills as its still cheaper than my 1 bed flat when I was living alone. So the way I saw it was that I was saving money. Plus I am no longer spending money on fuel to get to her etc. She says that even by me paying groceries ill still be saving money as when I was living alone I was living off takeouts (true). what she said made sense initially but now that I think of it, she is getting to save her entire wage and plus money from the ex.

she doesn't have debts

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 31/08/2021 15:39

That's madness. Heads up, your girlfriend is an ice queen bitch from hell who is fleesing you.

Ruuuuun.

ExConstance · 31/08/2021 15:40

I've just ahd a look at our other threads about this relationship. None of this behaviour is normal, you are being taken for a ride.

Pinkbonbon · 31/08/2021 15:41

Yeh op even if it is cheaper for you she should at least be paying some stuff for her own home and kids.

Out of interest,how long have you been dating?

RedMarauder · 31/08/2021 15:45

@Mintjulia

I've always done rent & bills straight down the middle, and man pays 60% grocery bill, woman pays 40% grocery bill.

However, she and her two dcs probably eat equal to what you eat, so in your case I'd just split everything 50:50.

Doesn't work if the kids are teenagers of either sex.

As teenagers have the gannet stage....

Poshishchap · 31/08/2021 15:48

You need to head for those hills

Elieza · 31/08/2021 15:48

She seems to think that you were prepared to shell out X amount on your own pad and travel to hers (which seems bizarre too btw as that should have been turns each or costs split) so you should be happy paying less to live with her. Eh!?

So she’s ‘giving you’ the opportunity to save. Tut tut.

She forgets that you’re giving up your freedom and surrounding yourself with someone else’s weans is a sacrifice you’re making for her. What’s she sacrificing for you. Nothing. A pound a week on the holiday fund you’ll never see. Great.

Don’t do it. This will just be the first of many things.

You will be on here like other guys before you in a few years time complaining that she’s had your two babies (you thought she was on the pill) and is demanding maintenance of xxxxx amount or she won’t let you see them etc etc.

She is thoughtless and selfish. Or perhaps just young and silly.

You sound like a decent person. You deserve better than her attitude.

PS use condoms if you stay with her.

Wallywobbles · 31/08/2021 15:53

Well depending who you are you can do maths for this.

For eg

Adult (over 18) = 1 (Adult male maybe 1.25 for food)
Teen girl = 0.75
Teen boy = 1 (or more)
Under12 = 0.5

Then work out how many days etc they are in the house. Then do the calculations from there.

No way on earth should you be paying more as 1 to her 2. And in time her 2 will be 3.25.

Surely you can see her request is nonsense and quite shit.

FloGiven · 31/08/2021 15:53

@jones88

she doesn't get benefits so its not that. Her children are still young (under 7). I agreed to pay the rent and bills as its still cheaper than my 1 bed flat when I was living alone. So the way I saw it was that I was saving money. Plus I am no longer spending money on fuel to get to her etc. She says that even by me paying groceries ill still be saving money as when I was living alone I was living off takeouts (true). what she said made sense initially but now that I think of it, she is getting to save her entire wage and plus money from the ex.

she doesn't have debts

The audacity!
Eviethyme · 31/08/2021 15:54

It should be 1/4 the rent, 1/4 bills and then 1/4 of the groceries and nothing more.

Because she should pay her half and then 1/4 for the kids as they arnt yours.

Eviethyme · 31/08/2021 15:55

She should pay 3 /4 of everything because there's 3 of them..

Poshishchap · 31/08/2021 15:56

I've just read one of your earlier posts. Do you have close friends in real life to talk this all through with? This relationship doesn't look right, can you imagine another 40-50 years of this?? Nothing will get better and people don't change.

Original poster
jones88 · 31/08/2021 15:57

she thinks she's doing me a favour by letting me stay with her. She has calculated how much it cost me to run my flat but will add comments like 'your flat was a shit hole though, at least you get to live in a nice area etc'. her house is very modern and she has a lot of gadgets, 3 tvs etc and she makes comments such as I get to make use of all of this, which I didn't have in my flat.

also the reason she thinks I should pay the grocery bill is that her children eat 3 days out of 7 at her exes (they are with him fri -sun)

OP posts:
TheAverageUser · 31/08/2021 15:58

It doesn't really matter if it's more or less than where you were, she should be paying half at least of all the bills. She expects you to pay for everything and I'd run away from that before you move in.

MsMarple · 31/08/2021 15:59

It doesn’t seem fair for you to pay for everything - whatever you were paying before shouldn’t come into it!

I’d start from the assumption that you paid for 1/3 of the rent, bills and groceries (on the very unscientific assumption that 2 small people add up to one big one!). You’d then both be able to save/spend your surplus as you wanted.

bigbaggyeyes · 31/08/2021 15:59

I think she's taking the piss, even without the food. Why are you paying all the rent and bills? Ok it's less than your flat but that's not the point. You should be sharing it, actually she should pay more as she's supporting her dc.

thanksforyourcommentrandomman · 31/08/2021 16:02

She's taking you for a mug, so you pay everything and she pays nothing and she thinks she's doing you a favour as it will still be cheaper? Your place can't have been that much of a shithole if it's cheaper for you to pay rent, bills and food at hers.

Fuck her off

1forAll74 · 31/08/2021 16:02

I would move out, as money issues like this will always cause problems and resentment. Your GF seems unfair, and a rule maker.

thanksforyourcommentrandomman · 31/08/2021 16:05

@1forAll74

I would move out, as money issues like this will always cause problems and resentment. Your GF seems unfair, and a rule maker.
Judging by the previous threads OP will do nothing about this either and just let it happen
Mortgagestress · 31/08/2021 16:05

I just read your other posts too, and less than a month ago things weren't right, so why have you moved in with her?!
She sounds very controlling, very jealous, and a bit like you'll do anything she says and look after her kids if she doesn't fell like it!
Is she being fair? No.
Is she taking you for a ride? Yes.
Is she taking the piss? Yes.
Will you leave? No.

Mortgagestress · 31/08/2021 16:06
  • feel
Pinkbonbon · 31/08/2021 16:06

I'd rather live in a shithole by myself than at the snow queens palace.

She is trying to bamboozle you with the gadgets.

I wonder which poor unsuspecting sap she rinsed before you into buying her those.