Dating Thread 211 - heading into to Autumn fueled by possibilities

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Naimee87

So the messages are a selfie of us from when i last saw him… a comment about ‘despite everything he still thinks about me’ and he asked why i ignored his happy birthday messages? and if i passed my truck test… so i’ve opened them but not replied! He’ll know i’ve seen them though. I’ll archive them! I do feel relieved! But Oh boy do i want to tell him i passed my truck test. We did a lot of ‘studying’ together and he helped with theory questions, he was there at the start of it all.

That's quite a hook of a message! Do you think he wants to provoke a reaction? Seems like it from the outside.

So hard to let go, but if you were only ever 'an option' or a 'fallback girl' just let this one go xx

Sorry you're having a bad time @Misty9

@Naimee87 so what’s brought this on? Has someone just dumped him? I don't mean that harshly in any way to you but bizarre how he's just popped up out of nowhere after all this time.

@Misty9

I'm feeling very stupid and could do with a handhold... I'm having what I think is a very early miscarriage. It'd be less than 2 weeks but I'm pretty sure that's what I'm experiencing. Feeling crap and have the kids, plus have to self isolate for a hospital trip later this week. Yes, it was very stupid to have sex without protection, even the day after my period finished. I know :( and I've already sent off a sexual health kit too. I've messaged Mr runner but his phone is off and I doubt he'd be much help anyway. I'm a bloody idiot.

Goodness I missed that. So sorry. Virtual hand hold here. You're not an idiot.

I really hope you're OK 💐

Sorry to hear that @Misty9 😞 Virtual hand holding, hope you feel better very soon x

I have an update:

Mr Metal and I are properly official! So I guess he's upgraded to Mr M now? 😁

Thanks again all. Spoke to gp and they're not too bothered. Test was negative but probably too early, so I'll never know I guess. Filled with anxiety every time I think about never hearing from Mr runner again... Even though that would likely be for the best. Just can't stand not knowing. I've deleted tinder, suffice to say...

@troobleflooble congrats!
@Naimee87 how are you feeling? Those messages do seem designed to hook you into a conversation...

@Naimee87

Id have to reply but that's me. I'd actually tell him why I didn't reply to his birthday messages and ask him what he wants.

I fell into this trap last time though before my truck test i hadn’t heard much then a few texts on the day and i was hooked again, couldn’t believe he’d remembered the date and saw him that night. Was so unexpected. @Shayelle2009 this time sounds more suspicious like he has probably been dumped or whoever he was pursuing is showing him no signs of being interested in him. So he’s trying his luck with me. Won’t write back (for now that is) i’ll see how the week goes and what MrE has to say about coming back. Still wondering how keen i am, i’ve really felt different yesterday and today. Can’t shake it, like i’m not feeling as excited about him coming back as i was last week… not that he’s told me when he’s back.
@troobleflooble yay! congratulations 🎊🍾
Thanks for all your comments! Really love this thread!

Woop woop @troobleflooble - just shows us all! keep going and cut out the deadwood and the options start to appear!

@Misty9

@Naimee87

Agree there's a lot going on, you always seem very mindful.
Maybe take some time for yourself to do your own thing and just "forget about the situation" for a bit? What will be will be and all that. You don't need to make any big declarations or choices.

There's no right or wrong decisions here, it's early days with MrElf and no-ones declared a partnership so don't "angst" too much about it.

Update from my date yesterday with MrMud:
I had a nightmare getting to his hometown due to cancelled public transport, but got to his station eventually an hour later than planned. His station has 2 exits - he had found out what platform I was getting in at his station and had his car waiting for me at the correct one 🥰. He had roses and wine waiting for me and he cooked me an amazing meal - i helped in the kitchen and we had such a lovely chat together while we prepared and ate the meal together.

Things progressed pretty rapidly, with some very honest and open conversation, we both talked about wanting a relationship rather than a hookup, we are both very much on the same page and I think we are both pretty smitten with each other 🥰.

I stayed the night and into the afternoon, this feels so much different than other irons, like there is a genuine connection with no red flags for once! 😍

@Misty9

So I opened Mr Cricket's message, he actually asked how I was not just a hope you are okay so I did reply but my brother was down (he moves to Dubai in a couple of weeks) and he popped over to drop some stuff off so wasn't for a good few hours. He is already trying to convince me to go over for holidays, all I'd have to pay for is flights and spending money and if I book quite far in advance the flights are fairly cheap. Now if only it had worked out with the pilot I could have had cheap flights too.🤣

@Misty9 sending you hugs

Hi all, thought i'd join the thread as i have got back into OLD after being single for ages (talking years here!).
Question for you all, if there are 2 or 3 potential irons that you may be interested in when you're browsing the apps do you like/message them all at the same time or do you like/message one first see how it goes then try the other? Reason i ask is i'm wondering if it would be a bit of a pain trying juggle different conversations at once? Or is it better to just grab the bull by the horns and message all at once?
Jesus i am so out of my depth here! haha

@TheWanderingTeaDrinker

Personal choice but I think the rule of thumb is to "keep them all panning out initially"

as you don't know how they are going to turn out/if you get round to meeting at all/if you like them when you meet or if they like you.

@Naimee87

Is it lorries you're just qualified to drive? Really good time to get into the industry according to the news - you're gonna be minted!

yay @Dirtyduck

@TheWanderingTeaDrinker message them all. One won’t reply, one will go down the overtly sex talk route or some other weirdness and One might be normal if you’re lucky

Had a lovely call with Mr Lumberjack this evening. We are going to spend next weekend together- the whole weekend. No one has ever wanted to spend the whole weekend with me before - I’m very excited 😊

Naimee87 - He's really trying to wind you back in isn't he! I also think he may have been dumped, hence why he is trying his luck with you again. Or some weird ego trip. No offense to you. You don't want to be treated like that whatever his reason. Block.
Misty9 .
Dirtyduck - that sounds really positive, yay!

MrBE sent me a joke, which he'd obviously sent to everyone on his contact list. I will heed my own advice and block. He's not even making an effort to draw me back in .
I've got a couple of irons from FB Dating.

1. MrNoKids - convo a bit dull from both of us tbh. Sure it'll fizzle out.
2. MrPilot - I joked about being up for anything except jumping out of a plane and he said not to worry as he can fly if the engines stop. What does that even mean? I've asked him and am awaiting a reply! He's probably a lunatic!

Thanks to you all! I feel much better today the ‘wondering’ is gone. But usually first thing i’d do is msg MrE and i’ve no interest in doing so. Doesn’t help that i had a really (sexy) dream with magnet-man in it. I definitely over analyze and don’t want to hurt anyone or get hurt either. I’m going to just focus on me this week and see if i can get into a good clear head-space. I know ignoring magnet-man is for the best. I’ll use all my will-power to do so without game-playing.

@Dirtyduck this sounds like you may have found your new-spud in amongst the ugly/twatty ones! Go You!!!
@SpringlikeBunk yes it’s lorries! Will be shadowing someone friday on their route this week, see whats involved! Can’t wait to get back behind the wheel, my car is so boring and small and low to the ground 🤪

I’ll be able to get back into the thread now! Feel i bit like i’ve took over the last few days! Will catch up on everything by this afternoon hopefully.
Sending you hugs @Misty9

@Walkingalot Doesn't Mr Pilot mean that if the engine fails (and we think we'd evacuate) that he is trained in how to land safely🤷‍♀️
I think your joke was about literally jumping out of a plane with a parachute but he hasn't thought that.

@Naimee87 Do you normally message Mr E first in the mornings?
If you do maybe wait for him to instigate things so you definitely know he's interested.

@Dirtyduck and @MayEye sooo cute you’ve both found good irons!! Glad you are both enjoying your good selves 🥰🥰

@Naimee87 I agree with @SpringlikeBunk it actually really appeals to me! Being on the road, responsible for your own day, sounds like it’s going to be good money-wise… if I was made redundant I would be totally be looking into this! Exciting!

Hope youre doing ok @Misty9

@Isitreallyme177 I’d be asking what flights shall I book on to come over asap 😆 that’s an offer you can’t refuse!

Thanks for you all your comments! Really love them!
Yes well he usually texts good-night as i go to sleep really early, i just love sleep. Then i'm up early and message him but today just didn't feel like sending him any messages at all or entering into a dialogue. I saw my DS off to school and did my skipping now 'working.' I actually feel like texting MrE that there is no rush back. That sounds harsh doesn't it. Hmmm! I'm wondering if this is all to do with magnet-man's reappearence or the fact my energy/excitement is just so low given i've been trying to keep this new 'relationship' alive over text. My friend said what man would wait for a woman he'd only just met who went away who had no clue when she'd be back? He'd never make himself 'exclusive' with her that's for sure. Surprsingly I feel in a really really good mood. Phone is busy playing music!

@Shayelle2009 it really is exciting, sounds so daft and no one in my family/friends circle understands why i'm pursuing trucking. So far i've only made the first license (18ton, baby trucks) but have big goals to one day make the second set of licenses so i can drive the BIG BIG articulated ones. It was a completely new thing i picked up during 'lock-down/COVID/WFH as i had extra time on my hands and a teenyweeny bit more money in my account! (and i love truckers)
And definitely nice to hear the loved up stories too with MrMud and MrMetal. Nice when you can just be yourself and the date is easy and chat flows nicely! Long may these relationships continue
@Misty9 hope you're feeling a little lighter this morning! Here if need me!
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards any update on your date with MrGambit(thinks that's his name) ... was it the weekend just gone you were planning to meet with him?

Checking in too. Longtime lurker but I’ve caught this one early enough.

I’ve been talking to an Albanian builder. I know, I know, but I’ve had terrible luck with men who don’t have certain stereotypes behind them, so…

He’s good looking, easy to talk to, so that’s a start. Should be having a date tomorrow but since my last relationship, which left me scarred beyond belief, I’ve been pretty resistant to seeing things through with anyone, so we’ll see if it happens.

What are the reasons @Naimee87 why you are pursuing it? (Trucking lol.. nothing to do with men). Go into detail and tell me … 🙂🙂

@Naimee87

Thanks for you all your comments! Really love them! Yes well he usually texts good-night as i go to sleep really early, i just love sleep. Then i'm up early and message him but today just didn't feel like sending him any messages at all or entering into a dialogue. I saw my DS off to school and did my skipping now 'working.' I actually feel like texting MrE that there is no rush back. That sounds harsh doesn't it. Hmmm! I'm wondering if this is all to do with magnet-man's reappearence or the fact my energy/excitement is just so low given i've been trying to keep this new 'relationship' alive over text. My friend said what man would wait for a woman he'd only just met who went away who had no clue when she'd be back? He'd never make himself 'exclusive' with her that's for sure. Surprsingly I feel in a really really good mood. Phone is busy playing music! *@Shayelle2009* it really is exciting, sounds so daft and no one in my family/friends circle understands why i'm pursuing trucking. So far i've only made the first license (18ton, baby trucks) but have big goals to one day make the second set of licenses so i can drive the BIG BIG articulated ones. It was a completely new thing i picked up during 'lock-down/COVID/WFH as i had extra time on my hands and a teenyweeny bit more money in my account! (and i love truckers) And definitely nice to hear the loved up stories too with MrMud and MrMetal. Nice when you can just be yourself and the date is easy and chat flows nicely! Long may these relationships continue *@Misty9* hope you're feeling a little lighter this morning! Here if need me! *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* any update on your date with MrGambit(thinks that's his name) ... was it the weekend just gone you were planning to meet with him?

@Naimee87 yeah, that's him. I was planning to talk to him about meeting, but he's been busy planning for the new term at the school he works at.

I don't think I'll see him until October half term now. Ho hum ☹️❤️