Dating thread 210 - thwarted hearts, fresh starts

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Gonna give bumble a try and see if I can meet me a mr lumberjack type 😂

So I’m off for a date today with a new iron I haven’t told you guys about yet - we’ll call him Mr Russian.

Completely geographically undesirable as he’s only on a work contract in the UK (which runs out soon) but he’s got a beautiful voice (the accentttt 🤤🤤) and the most amazing smile I’ve ever seen on a man so he might be good for a few casual dates to get me over the horror of the other night with Mr Fencing

I blocked Mr Fencing after the other night but he messaged last night from another number asking me why I was being so quiet! Wtf did he forget what he did the other night 🤦‍♂️ Blocked that number too obviously. What is the matter with these men?!

So scary @Iamclearlyamug so glad youre ok. Did he give any warning signs at all he would be like that or was it just completely out the blue? That’s exactly the kind of thing that makes me terrified to meet new guys 😞

@Shayelle2009 you are funny! Hopefully Bumble is the app you delete forever because you’ve met a lovely one 😊
Time will tell on Mr Lumberjack - the distance is a lot but I’m only available every second weekend realistically, so maybe if someone was happy only seeing me that often with the odd extra day in between plus holidays, distance wouldn’t matter.
Not going to get carried away (much!) after a good date zero.
My date zero from earlier in the week is still in touch and is so so different but still makes me laugh so much. I feel like he wants an exclusive hook up type situation for now rather than proper dates progressing to something. After Mr TG I was open to that but now I’m not so sure. Will chat to him if date one ever happens.

@Iamclearlyamug did you tell him whatever he did was totally unacceptable to you or just block and delete. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to engage ever again but if he was still contacting you after you spelled it out it makes it even more sinister - hope Mr Russian is a nice one (is he Russian? If so swoon!)

I honestly don't think I'm cut out for the world of swiping,I feel guilty swiping left on people who are probably actually an okay person to speak to in real life but I just don't think are good looking. I feel so bloody shallow.

Mmmm a Russian would be nice! Smooth and intelligent! 😍💘💘

@Iamclearlyamug is this another trucker? i do like accents as well and the text messages i'm getting from MrElf whose from a similar country make me laugh with the way he spells some words/muddles up some phrases. Hope it goes well! Weird that MrFencing would try to get in touch a bit scary as well, how many numbers does he have?

I’ve upped my age limit on bumble and got a match already. Something about men in their fifties that is defo floating my boat at the minute! 😍

Good luck with Bumble @Shayelle2009. I've found it to be a more respectful space although I've unmatched from some of the conversation went off piste.

I'm still going very low contact with all my irons and am getting the same back.

MrDJ - flurry of comms and then midnight messages followed by nothing for 24 hours
MrIrish - same as MrDJ
BeardFlake- one message since Tuesday
MrItaly - one message since Sunday
MrLongShot - one message every 24 hours
MissChelsea - one message every 48 hours
MissOxford - same as MissChelsea

A few other irons but I'm less interested or have friend zoned so not bothered about regular comms

@Shayelle2009 honestly it was totally out of the blue, it was the 6th time I’d seen him and I’d never seen anything to give me any concern 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

@MayEye no I just blocked him as soon as I got home - surely he can’t not understand why I might have done that? When he messaged off this other number I told him that his behaviour terrified me and not to try and contact me again - also blocked this number now so hopefully he can’t, who has more than 2 phones? Yeah today’s iron is Russian and honestly I just drool mostly, we’ve had some video chats and stuff and his English is lovely although heavily accented, and yeah honestly I could just jump on him tbh 😂😂🤦‍♂️

@Naimee87 actually not a trucker this time, works on the ships instead 🤦‍♂️😂 another typically foreign job haha. Hoping Mr Fencing will bugger off pretty quickly now, he’s lucky I didn’t call the police and if he knows what’s good for him he’ll stay well away 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Thanks all for the concern, and I can definitely see everyone's points. @Naimee87 the connection wasn't so much chemistry or sexual - although that turned out to be there too - it felt more like I felt really safe and held by him. Ironic now I know what a mess he is mentally. I felt like I'd met a kindred spirit. And I'm a pretty sensible practical person usually.

He said he wants to change for himself and this predates meeting me. I'm very aware of the waving red flags and also aware that I can struggle to walk away... But, I also know when something isn't good/right for me and I react accordingly. I'm on my guard for now but he wants to keep in contact and I want to as well.

Horrible @Iamclearlyamug really glad youre ok! Are you in the UK, south east?? I dont want to happen across him 😱

MrProperty has reappeared asking for a local meet tomorrow. As my Mum is here and has rightly put me under house arrest I've said in a week or so is better!

Oops I've run out of people on Bumble, once I tell it I don't want people out of my age or distance range.🤦‍♀️🤣

@Shayelle2009 actually I am UK south east - well Hampshire so south central

Quick update as mr Russian gone to the toilet - he’s gorgeous, his voice is amazing and I’m getting married 😂😂

[quote Iamclearlyamug]@Shayelle2009 actually I am UK south east - well Hampshire so south central

Quick update as mr Russian gone to the toilet - he’s gorgeous, his voice is amazing and I’m getting married 😂😂[/quote]
😂😂😂😂😂
Love it 🥰

HI all - thanks for the welcome back earlier and @HairyArsedMan, so sweet that you were batting for Mr G from the sidelines. You sound like a lovely person and he is too so maybe that's why. I met his sister and brother in law this week (a first for me as had previously met none of his people - was beginning to think he was in witness protection - and they were really nice (and nice to me which is weird for me as my in-laws were pretty hostile). One thing his sister said at the end as we were leaving the restaurant stayed with me - she said to me "I hope he looks after you well" and I said, "oh yes, he does", and she said '"yes, he's very gentle". Which is a word I have never thought of in relation to him but it sums him up well. Shame his ex is such a monster.

Sorry to hear some of you are having a hard time - @Iamclearlyamug and @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards and @Slothmomma big hugs to you all.

In other news, Mr Beard got in touch out of the blue this morning. And I love Mr G to bits but it has still knocked me sideways. I haven't replied though. I'd be mental wouldn't I?

Hope all of you planning dates have good ones this weekend. And am very jealous of @Shayelle2009 and the Russian! Love that accent.

@BelladiMamma how long are you keeping up the no/low contact plan for? You are a better person than me!

@UtterSocks it’s me on the date with the Russian, and yeah he’s a bit delicious if completely geographically undesirable 🤦‍♂️😂

Quick update as mr Russian gone to the toilet - he’s gorgeous, his voice is amazing and I’m getting married

🤣 so good to hear a success ! I’m in a less
Low mode so can actually be happy for people
Today !!!!

So I've matched with a guy on Tinder and I clearly didn't look at his profile clearly before I swiped because now it's obvious he has something stuffed down his shorts in 2 photos 😆😆😆

He's messaged and being very flirty, I'm tempted to keep replying just to see how long I last before o ask him about his stuffed pants 😆

Cheering Mr. Russian!!!

Low contact update: Friday seems to be the day the irons come alive!

Have heard from almost everyone except for BeardFlake who is of course my favourite 😞

@UtterSocks that must gave been a bolt out the blue will you reply? Wish it was my Russian! 🤣🤣

@Iamclearlyamug ah I’m sussex so far enough away. Will you report him on the app? Yay for a sexy date zero 😍😍 all these good dates happening lately!!

I’m hoooome guys, it was such a lush date - shame he’s so geographically undesirable, must NOT I repeat must NOT get attached to this one 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️😂