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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help. I'm on a date. I've read a text about me...

384 replies

doesthiscomewithfries · 13/08/2021 21:01

I'm on a forth date with a guy. He's cooking. Left me in charge of his phone for Spotify.

It's not an iPhone. I don't know what I'm doing. I get out of the app. I panic. Hit another button. Whatsapp. It's a chat with a friend of his where he's detailing what we got up to on our last date.

Also scrolling back. I'm half a bottle of wine down. He says he might not see me again as I'm not his type.

Sooooo. What do I do now. I feel like crap.

OP posts:
Thisisworsethananticpated · 14/08/2021 00:52

Ugh
Onwards OP
One day you will sigh about this
But not yet Flowers

jpclarke · 14/08/2021 00:52

I hope you are ok op and that you got home safe whatever you decided was best for you Thanks

OppsUpsSide · 14/08/2021 00:56

Go home, and if you accidentally click onto someone else’s messages on their phone again, just click back out again don’t stick around reading them.
If he has any sense he will have asked you to leave, if you have any sense you will go!

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 14/08/2021 00:58

OP must have resolved this somehow by now but for the sake of it I would have

  • Made sure I got my dinner
  • Made some excuse about a friend or family member who'd texted me meaning that I had to go home, and left
  • Message him tomorrow to say that I didn't think we should go out again as he wasn't my type. He might suspect but would never be able to prove I'd seen the message.
SaharaFlower · 14/08/2021 01:03

Did the poster reply further?

Ophanim · 14/08/2021 01:05

@SaharaFlower

Did the poster reply further?
Go to one of OP’s posts, click on See All and you can see all her posts.
FlatteredFool · 14/08/2021 01:07

Yikes. Hope you're safe.

Boredmotherofone · 14/08/2021 01:08

@doesthiscomewithfries Op I'm really worried. I know you were drunk and have probably fallen asleep but if you read this and it's not already a done deed - please don't sleep with him! He is going to say whatever he needs to in order to get sex then will fuck you off! Don't give him the satisfaction, literally!!

magicalmama · 14/08/2021 01:09

It's a fairly minor comment for him to have made in a text. But if you felt that bad about it then it's reasonable to find a reason to leave straight away anyway.

Once he found out you read his messages though, the possibilities of a trusting relationship developing get slimmer. He did leave you with his phone, so seeing the first message wasn't the issue. It's you reading previous messages.

Best to move on and date someone else - and don't scroll through their messages even if they leave you with their phone and you see the first message!

Doublestar · 14/08/2021 01:11

OP must have resolved this somehow by now but for the sake of it I would have

- Made sure I got my dinner

🤣🤣🤣a girl after my own heart!

SpacePug · 14/08/2021 01:18

Did you get home OP?

Wheresmybiscuit3 · 14/08/2021 01:45

Everything ok OP?

SheilaWilcox · 14/08/2021 01:54

Hope you got home safe OP.

1forAll74 · 14/08/2021 02:33

What is he cooking, he might have put something dodgy in the food, like laxative or something, then you would rush home, and job done for him. !

GiantHaystacks2021 · 14/08/2021 02:37

I hope you went home.
He's only looking to get his hole tonight.

cookiecreampie · 14/08/2021 04:00

@thinkingaboutLangCleg

OP, please let us know you got home safely. I hope you’re all right. I can’t sleep for thinking of you, remembering times when I was young, trusting, drunk and in danger.
Seriously?
milliepop · 14/08/2021 04:02

@DuchessOfDisaster

Just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Ann. Get out of his hair, Claire. Just listen to me. Just get up and go, Zo. Run like hell, Nell. Get up and leave, Eve. And set yourself free.
You've missed a named after 'me' Fee? Lee?
JulesCobb · 14/08/2021 04:50

@MakemeaCake

I'm seriously impressed how the poster doesn't know how to use his phone but within seconds is managing to get onto MNet, posts messages fast, and all the while he's in the kitchen, cooking. Then she goes to the loo with his phone and he s till doesn't notice.

Hope you are okay, @doesthiscomewithfries and close enough to home to get back or ask a friend to pick you up.

Dear God. Im seriously unimpressed that you read the op’s posts and managed to draw the conclusion she was using HIS phone to mumsnet. Confused
PatchworkElmer · 14/08/2021 04:55

Hope you got home okFlowers

MajorNeville · 14/08/2021 05:02

I was texting a guy I'd had a few dates with at the same time I was texting a friend. I said the guy was completely not my normal type and wasn't sure why I was seeing him, except I texted that to the bloke. We still laugh about it 22 years and two children later. It's hardly a hanging offence.

Backtoblack1 · 14/08/2021 05:13

Are you ok? X

Thewinterofdiscontent · 14/08/2021 05:39

milliepop

Intentional.
Fits with the song’s tune ( 50 ways to Leave your Lover - Paul Simon)

MoonahStone · 14/08/2021 06:05

@Wherearemymarbles

Call a taxi and leave and dont drink any more.
I hope you did this and are home now OP.
girlmom21 · 14/08/2021 06:07

I know this was last night but surely this whole issue depends on when the message was sent...

strawberrysummer19 · 14/08/2021 06:12

Hope your ok op x I take it you stayed!