Page 10 | I'm the babysitter, the dads been massively inappropriate

WhiskeyGalore212 · 15/08/2021 09:22

@magicalmama

Don't be a martyr.

Men like this are in positions of power and they know it. It's not in your interests to make a potential enemy out of him by telling his wife.

If you want to do the right thing for society, by all means tell his wife. But if you want to do the safer thing for you, just quit, say there is a particularly difficult unit at uni you need to concentrate on or something, and move on.

I know it's less satisfying and feels like he's getting away with it. But the alternative is making yourself pay the price for his poor behaviour, and you've done nothing to deserve that.

It's ok and sensible to walk away, saying nothing. Most people would.

In this posters world, Harvey weinstein would still be a free man, producing films, and raping young actresses.

Absolutely right - never tell, never challenge, never expose, kerl your mouth shut ... ots the way of the world.

alexa677 · 15/08/2021 09:33

@WhiskeyGalore212
What a ridiculous post.....

Apart from the fact she has now told the wife (you may have missed that update) the husband in this sounds like he's a complete dickhead. However:

He's not a rapist
He's not done anything illegal
What he has done is propositioned a grown 25 year old adult to have consensual sex and she's not interested

Not nice and completely out of order for a married man but hardly puts him up there with Harvey Einstein. For all we know he might be in an open relationship or his wife might be happy to turn a blind eye for the lifestyle she has

RandomMess · 15/08/2021 10:09

I think that was a spot on message. I hope the Mum doesn't cause any backlash on you as you haven't done anything wrong.

evtheria · 15/08/2021 10:38

Perfect message, OP. It doesn’t have anything to do with me, but I’m thankful there are people like you.

OverByYer · 15/08/2021 10:46

@WhyWhyWhyMum

Footballer I'm presuming?

I was thinking the exact same

IndieTara · 15/08/2021 10:56

Great message

Crikeyalmighty · 15/08/2021 10:57

Absolutely right thing OP— if he’s well off and a great lifestyle the lady may do bugger all as she may think him being a sleaze is a trade off for the lifestyle (plenty do) but at least you have shown some self respect. On the other hand the lady may have had no idea at all

FuckingFabulous · 15/08/2021 10:59

Did she reply?

CordeliasPencil · 15/08/2021 11:03

[quote alexa677]@WhiskeyGalore212
What a ridiculous post.....

Apart from the fact she has now told the wife (you may have missed that update) the husband in this sounds like he's a complete dickhead. However:

He's not a rapist
He's not done anything illegal
What he has done is propositioned a grown 25 year old adult to have consensual sex and she's not interested

Not nice and completely out of order for a married man but hardly puts him up there with Harvey Einstein. For all we know he might be in an open relationship or his wife might be happy to turn a blind eye for the lifestyle she has [/quote]
Harvey Einstein 🤣

MazDazzle · 15/08/2021 11:10

Very brave OP and well written.

WhyWhyWhyMum · 15/08/2021 12:41

@MarshmallowsOnToast

Why are people presuming footballer?

Not sure if I've missed something obvious but OP hasn't really posted anything to suggest that?

See screenshot. Great message OP and I agree with PPs, you should get this thread taken down now before you get any backlash

I'm the babysitter, the dads been massively inappropriate

QueenBee52 · 15/08/2021 12:56

Ooft that's a cool screen shot 🤣

WhiskeyGalore212 · 15/08/2021 12:57

[quote alexa677]@WhiskeyGalore212
What a ridiculous post.....

Apart from the fact she has now told the wife (you may have missed that update) the husband in this sounds like he's a complete dickhead. However:

He's not a rapist
He's not done anything illegal
What he has done is propositioned a grown 25 year old adult to have consensual sex and she's not interested

Not nice and completely out of order for a married man but hardly puts him up there with Harvey Einstein. For all we know he might be in an open relationship or his wife might be happy to turn a blind eye for the lifestyle she has [/quote]
You've managed to completely miss my point.

Well done.

No-one should ever be told to keep quiet about sexual harassment because the person who's harassing is "poweful".

Doesbt matter whether its an invite to a hotel room, or a rape. They're all on a spectrum.

QueenBee52 · 15/08/2021 12:58

If it is... as suggested .. A sportsman..

they might be panicking about the Media getting hold of your text messages now..

potentially damaging his 'public' image ..

Keep those texts/screen shots OP. Protect yourself first 🌸

QueenBee52 · 15/08/2021 12:59

@WhiskeyGalore212

I agree

Original poster

babysittingNC · 15/08/2021 13:00

Thanks all, once I realised they weren't married (I just presumed they were) I felt differently. She might not do anything about it but at least now she can make an informed decision.

I'm not worried about getting future work, it wouldn't be in his best interests to make anything public. I've not done anything wrong. There's plenty more lovely families out there for me to work with, and like I said I've got a decade worth of 5* reviews online to back me up.

I'm of course not going to say what he does.

OP posts:

WhiskeyGalore212 · 15/08/2021 13:03

For all we know he might be in an open relationship or his wife might be happy to turn a blind eye for the lifestyle she has

And you call me ridiculous (while not understanding my point)... you know that's as rare as hen's teeth, don't you.

Yet always rolled out here by a certain type of poster when a woman dares to think aboiy telling another woman about her partners attempted infidelity or infidelity.

"Welk she probably knows and turns a blind eye, and doesn't wants you telling her" ...... riiiiiight.

QueenBee52 · 15/08/2021 13:04

@babysittingNC

Thanks all, once I realised they weren't married (I just presumed they were) I felt differently. She might not do anything about it but at least now she can make an informed decision.

I'm not worried about getting future work, it wouldn't be in his best interests to make anything public. I've not done anything wrong. There's plenty more lovely families out there for me to work with, and like I said I've got a decade worth of 5* reviews online to back me up.

I'm of course not going to say what he does.

you did the right thing...

you have integrity ☺️

good luck with your next post 🌸

WhiskeyGalore212 · 15/08/2021 13:24

Incidentally, even if the mum here is among the extreme minority of women who tolerate infidelity; it is op's right to say why she is resigning from working from them. Why she has to give up one her jobs and find another one..

She's been sexually harassed. She has the right to say that's why she's leaving them.

It also has an impact on the kids, chopping and changing sitters. It demonstrates that these mythical infidelity-blind-eye-turning women can do that if they want; but there are still consequences for them and their kids when the men include the family's in-house child carers etc. in their infidelity, or attempted infidelity in this case.

SamiReed1 · 15/08/2021 15:24

Has she read the text message?

SaltySheepdog · 16/08/2021 01:35

Perfect text and I hope she manages

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 16/08/2021 06:19

Well done, that's what I'd have done too.

Parentingdilemmas · 16/08/2021 07:37

I’m with @bevm72yellow - you need to tell the wife so she knows the real reason behind you ceasing to work for them. Otherwise, he could make a hundred different things up about you to cover his own arse and you could come out looking the wrongun x

JulesCobb · 16/08/2021 07:42

@Parentingdilemmas

I’m with *@bevm72yellow* - you need to tell the wife so she knows the real reason behind you ceasing to work for them. Otherwise, he could make a hundred different things up about you to cover his own arse and you could come out looking the wrongun x

10 pages. 10. Did it not occur to you to RTFT?

Polkadots2021 · 16/08/2021 08:04

@babysittingNC

Have NC for this just incase it gets picked up. This is long so I'll summarise incase you're in a rush. The short story is: I babysit for an affluent family, the dad tried to get me to meet him at a hotel. Wtf do I do?

The long story:
I started to babysit for a new family about 3/4 months ago, since things started to open back up. The mum is lovely and so are the kids, it's a really easy sit and I charge them extra because they're far from me and I'm qualified and experienced and they can afford it. Basically it's a nice little job for me around uni. I tend to communicate with the mum, she'll text me to arrange dates and times etc.

The last time I was here the dad gave me his number and asked that I call him so he has my number just incase I can't get hold of the mum for any reason. Makes total sense, I've done the same with other families too, better to be safe etc.

Then this last time I was there, I arrived on time but the mum was still getting ready and the children were already in bed so I was sat just waiting for them to leave really . The dad came and sat down and was chatting with me, initially it felt normal we were just small talking about the place they were going etc. Then he started to ask more personal questions about me, about my work, study, boyfriend, home etc. It wasn't that weird on paper, but I got weird vibes. It felt odd that he cared so much to ask, if you understand?

Anyway, I did the sit and they came home, the mum was drunk and went straight upstairs and I told the dad that the children had been fine, bla bla all normal stuff. Then he went to hand me the cash, but when I went to take it and say thanks he kept hold of it and gave me a LOOK. A really intense look. It's like he thought this was an intense sexual moment like he was on a film or something? I looked at him like 'eh?' And he laughed and handed the money. It was awkward and strange. I left and he said he'd be in touch. Also weird, because only the mum texts me to arrange sits.

Anyway. Next day I get a text from him in the evening saying 'hiya, you ok?' So immediately I show my boyfriend and told him about the weird feeling I got the night before and he laughed and said omg this is the beginning of a porn film!!! He thinks it's funny! So I replied professionally saying 'hi (name), yes I'm well thank you. Is everything ok?' And he responds just casually as if we're friends chatting. I didn't really reply properly, but I didn't ignore him because I babysit for them! I don't want to be rude or make it weird because I need the money. After about 10 messages getting increasingly flirty he outright asked me to meet him at a hotel about 45 mins away. I've just ignored it. I feel sick.

She is such a lovely mummy, she's beautiful, they have gorgeous (young!) children, a lovely home. He's locally quite well known because of his job, if people found out about this it wouldn't only hurt his family but also his career.

Should I just block his number and tell her I'm not available for babysitting anymore? (Think this is my preferred option)

I obviously can't continue to babysit for them.
Do I tell her? I feel like I'll ruin her life and don't really want to be responsible for that. I also don't need the drama.

Send her screenshots of the messages, OP, and say you're really sorry but you can't babysit for them again, although you think she and the kids are lovely. He's clearly done this a lot to be so bold about it, it's such an abuse of power and she deserves to know.