I'm sure I'm going to get a bunch of 'LTB' responses to this but I'm not going to do that just yet so would really appreciate some suggestions of the best way to reply.
Known this guy about 3 months. For context, we are both long-time divorced and haven't dated since our divorces. We were both cheated on. We are both very cautious and he is exceptionally so and very indecisive (this comes out in other parts of his life as well).
During these 3 months we've effectively been dating but we haven't really put a label on it. With the exception of the periods I'm about to describe, we message several times a day, see each other once or twice a week. He is lovely in the vast majority of ways and I have fallen for him. He has always been extremely respectful apart from see below.
The big problem is that his response to any perceived conflict or any difficult feelings is not just to go into his man cave but to disappear. Basically, he blocks me for a few days. Then he comes back and apologises - but obviously it has its effect on me. It happened twice earlier in the year before we actually met (so before the 3 month clock started), then once three weeks ago, and then again just now, but this time is a little different.
When he came back 3 weeks ago he was clearly still very anxious. He said he wasn't ready for a relationship but he wanted to be friends. He also told me I 'should date other people'. I didn't want to lose him so I agreed but we quickly slipped back into effectively dating, so we had a conversation and agreed we 'wouldn't call it dating but we were obviously more than friends'.
Things were going well, we were getting closer, then he clearly got anxious again and started backing off saying he felt pressured (but didn't block me). So in what I can only describe as a fit of pique, I re-registered on the dating site, thinking 'well, he told me to date....'.
About ten minutes later, I get a text saying he has seen me on there and wishes me luck and immediately I'm blocked.
However, this time he didn't block me on Messenger so I got hold of him on there and asked what on earth was going on. It turned out that he thought that after our conversation about being more than friends we would be exclusive. He had suspended his profile but got an email to say I had logged on, so logged on and saw me and he now feels I was deceitful and unfaithful and he doesn't know if he can trust me.
That was Monday. Since then, I remain blocked on everything except Messenger but he is talking to me sporadically on there. He says he is sorry he has made such a fuss but it's a big deal to him and he doesn't know what he wants to do. Most recently, I just asked if he was okay and he replied that he thought he was and asked if I was.
Do I tell him the truth, that I'm not okay? Do I issue some kind of ultimatum? Or do I just give him time?
I'm not going to block him because I don't block people unless they're harassing me repeatedly. And I'm not going to ignore him because I'm not rude.