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Original poster

My partner says my son is the most horrible child he has ever met

307 replies

Owldeb2005 · 11/08/2021 11:59

My ds is 15 and is not an angel but lazy and spoiled as some teenagers seem to be. My partner went mad yesterday because ds had gone to play football with his friend and he is not allowed to go on his PS4 during the day. After work I started cleaning and did not see his calls until later. He wanted a lift home because his frien had hurt his leg. My partner said I should not pick him up when I saw the message because he was just being lazy. In the meantime he had tried everyone else and ended up calling my dad who doesn’t drive but my uncle lives there and he brought them back. My partner went mental saying how disgusting it was to ask like that and how he is a horrible child and a spoiled jumped up little c••t. I don’t think he did anything wrong but when I say that I am a bad parent and am turning him into a horrible person.
I am at my wits end with it because it is ranting a lot of the time when my son is with me. Sad

OP posts:
TheTallOakTrees · 11/08/2021 13:15

@54321nought

do you mean your ex partner?
Indeed.

Gone.

DysmalRadius · 11/08/2021 13:16

Your partner sounds awful and your poor son must be miserable. Please do whatever you can to get the two of you out of this situation and let your son know that you KNOW it's not ok. Is there anyone you can stay with until you find somewhere new?

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 11/08/2021 13:16

Please look after and prioritise your son. These are his key formative years and shouldn't be exposed to this mans behaviour, see you 'treading on eggshells' at home or end up being driven away by this bully.

Mydietstartstomorrow · 11/08/2021 13:16

I had exactly this problem with my EX husband. I highlight the “ex” bit because that’s what he now is. Because of this. My kid will always come first.

TenthGrade · 11/08/2021 13:18

[quote Owldeb2005]@LittleMysSister he has been around for about 3.5 years. He has no kids but is always telling me that all his friends think his behaviour is disgusting and that I am a bad parent.[/quote]
I have a neighbour whose child is "that child". He climbs out of the windows to roam the streets and hits other kids at all of 10 years old.

I have heard one of her partners call the kids names in the name of "disciplining" them and being the "macho" father figure.

A father figure should not be vindictive or a bully.

yeah whatever. I advised her to get rid ASAP as I advise you. Kids first and that nice fuzzy feeling with that "nice" partner who never does anything else wrong, second.

you are being abused.

Kanaloa · 11/08/2021 13:18

Poor boy. Bullied by mum’s new boyfriend, not protected by mum.

Presumably you’ll dump this man with immediate effect and support your child. Although given that you didn’t pick him up and allowed your boyfriend to call him a jumped up little cunt for asking his mum for a lift home I’d guess probably not.

lilyLloy · 11/08/2021 13:18

@Owldeb2005

My ds is 15 and is not an angel but lazy and spoiled as some teenagers seem to be. My partner went mad yesterday because ds had gone to play football with his friend and he is not allowed to go on his PS4 during the day. After work I started cleaning and did not see his calls until later. He wanted a lift home because his frien had hurt his leg. My partner said I should not pick him up when I saw the message because he was just being lazy. In the meantime he had tried everyone else and ended up calling my dad who doesn’t drive but my uncle lives there and he brought them back. My partner went mental saying how disgusting it was to ask like that and how he is a horrible child and a spoiled jumped up little c••t. I don’t think he did anything wrong but when I say that I am a bad parent and am turning him into a horrible person. I am at my wits end with it because it is ranting a lot of the time when my son is with me. Sad
I would leave him! Prioritise your son. He is a teenager and his behaviour is absolutely normal for a boy his age. However your partner is an adult acting like a spoiled child. I would definitely have a discussion with your DP and insist that if he ever makes a bad/ negative remark about my child, he is out! Your child should be priority!
Dogoodfeelgood · 11/08/2021 13:18

Leave this man and choose your son. My mother chose my horrible step dad over me and our relationship had never recovered and she is miserable with him as well because someone who isn’t nice to your child won’t be nice to you for very long either.

Iwonder08 · 11/08/2021 13:20

Surely it is immediately obvious-get rid of the partner. Why do you want someone around how makes you feel down and depressed and uses such language referring to your child?!

SlightlyJaded · 11/08/2021 13:20

Here's something you can do today.

You can make a promise to your DS that you are making plans to separate and reassure him that he comes first.

The only caveat to this would be if you think DS would struggle to keep this to himself and that the outcome of him letting your partner of your plans would be dangerous.

Otherwise, if nothing else please make that promise so you can't back out.

clartymare · 11/08/2021 13:22

Your poor son. I'm sorry OP, if the father of my child spoke about our son like that I'd be having serious words and second thoughts about our relationship. Your priority here is your child, it doesn't sound like your son did anything wrong. What he did was entirely sensible.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 11/08/2021 13:23

Little cunt?

Dearest OP, you have a cunt in the house but it isn’t your son.

I know this is hard. Been there done it (no child though).

But you need to go or get him gone.

It will not get better. Flowers

Plumtree391 · 11/08/2021 13:23

You are not a bad parent and what your son requested, ie a lift from someone, is quite normal for a 15 year old.

I don't know how you can live with a man who uses disgusting language about your child.

I doubt your partner's friends think your boy is bad, no doubt he says things and they nod in agreement because it's easiest.

Ditch the man! You can do better and your child comes first.

nc273 · 11/08/2021 13:24

[quote Owldeb2005]@LittleMysSister he has been around for about 3.5 years. He has no kids but is always telling me that all his friends think his behaviour is disgusting and that I am a bad parent.[/quote]
I don't normally comment on relationships threads as I don't know the whole situation but I think you should leave him. He sounds like a bully, who doesn't understand children, and he is making you feel terrible when you shouldn't. Your son was helping his friend, not being selfish. You and your son deserve better.

GingerBreadTeddy · 11/08/2021 13:25

Any “partner” who dared to call my child the C-word would be gone.

Kanaloa · 11/08/2021 13:25

I would say if you’re planning to stay with this man help and support your son in finding employment/further education as soon as possible so he has options outside of living with an abusive bully.

Hoppinggreen · 11/08/2021 13:25

@clartymare

Your poor son. I'm sorry OP, if the father of my child spoke about our son like that I'd be having serious words and second thoughts about our relationship. Your priority here is your child, it doesn't sound like your son did anything wrong. What he did was entirely sensible.
He’s not his father (thank God)
MorningTeas · 11/08/2021 13:27

The only c* here is your dp, get rid of him

Shallwegoforawalk · 11/08/2021 13:28

Your partner is abusive.

You need to leave/get him to leave ASAP.

Your son doesn't deserve this abuse. Protect him (or lose him, he'll be off and away from that toxic nasty home as soon as he can if you don't).

CurlyhairedAssassin · 11/08/2021 13:33

Your partner sounds like a bellend, I wouldn't put up with the kind of behaviour that you describe.

Also, not the point of the thread I know, but where was the friend's parents/relatives in all of this, if it was him who had injured his leg? If it was my son who was injured I would expect to leave work or whatever I was doing to go and pick him up, not leave it to someone else to have to sort out.

FatCatThinCat · 11/08/2021 13:33

Which is worse, a lazy teen who rings round family to cadge a life home, or a grown adult who calls a child a spoiled jumped up little cunt?

I wouldn't want to be with anyone who spoke about another person in that way, let alone my own child. He's definitely not a keeper.

MzHz · 11/08/2021 13:33

Who has the rights to live at your home address? Is it in joint names? Rented?

He needs to ftfo. Seriously.

Your ds has done fuck all wrong, you know this.

Antwerpen · 11/08/2021 13:33

@dcilovett

Your partner needs to go, no question about it. He sounds awful. Prioritise your son.
This
Noname1999 · 11/08/2021 13:33

Why are you with someone who hates your son?

Monr0e · 11/08/2021 13:34

So this prince among men has been in your sons life since he was around 12?

Does he spend much time at his dad's house? Is that perhaps a better, safer environment for him to be in. You do sound downtrodden however your son has been a victim of this man for 3 years, he did not choose to live with him, you did. Please for both of your sakes find the strength to get him out of your lives.

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