How do I stand up for myself facing my abuser in court

[Queenie6655]

Court case in a few days

I'm so so worried

Yes I have done nothing wrong

He has made it all out to be my fault

He tried to kill me
Hurt my child
Knife to my throat

I'm so used to believing this man and letting him get his way that I have mentally prepared myself for a total and utter shambles ahead of me and to be victim blamed

Why didn't I leave
Why forgive him!!

I caused a lot of these problems by covering up for him

How will I stand up for myself in court and try to tell my story ??!!!?

@ajandjjmum

How did my life come to this *@Queenie6655*

Because you were unlucky enough to meet a bastard. But you're nailing him now for all he put you through. You have the courage and the strength to get through this - as well as having right on your side.

Soon you'll be on the other side, and free to shape your life however you choose.

Lovely words

Thank you

@Moonface123

Be totally honest and keep your eyes focused on the judge. I agree you could ask for a screen. I have had to give evidence in court, l had same concerns as yourself, but on the actual day l didn't feel as nervous because l knew l had nothing to hide.

See this comes over me from time to time

I did nothing wrong

And have the truth to back me up

And 21 very very good pieces of evidence/witnesses

He looks like a fool

I suspect he’s telling “some” truth because there’s a lot more in his past to come out of the woodwork, darling. I don’t think men like this just “snap” because YOU turned them into the monster. You’re not at all responsible for his choices and behaviours. He has somehow gotten away with them - until now.
Why don’t you watch the Wonder Woman movies this weekend? She’s powerful and loving. She will fill you with hope and show you what it means to be a woman who rises above it all.

@Justilou1

I suspect he’s telling “some” truth because there’s a lot more in his past to come out of the woodwork, darling. I don’t think men like this just “snap” because YOU turned them into the monster. You’re not at all responsible for his choices and behaviours. He has somehow gotten away with them - until now. Why don’t you watch the Wonder Woman movies this weekend? She’s powerful and loving. She will fill you with hope and show you what it means to be a woman who rises above it all.

Thanks so much

I know that he is an abuser for sure

Listening to the radio this morning

So many d v cases dismissed as domestics
Police not going ahead to get CPs to charge

Very lucky at least it got this far and we had enough evidence !!!!

He is deliberately making an attempt to appear “genuinely contrite.” I suspect he is incapable of genuine feelings.

@Justilou1

He is deliberately making an attempt to appear “genuinely contrite.” I suspect he is incapable of genuine feelings.

Yes absolutely

Hate this piece of crap
Many thanks to all

This has helped so much xxxx

Will keep you all updated

Have changed some details so as not to be outing

Many thanks again

Don't forget - the truth is yours.

Channel your inner queen - cool and calm on the outside, whatever you might feel underneath.

Remember we're standing behind you in spirit, wishing you all the best.

@charmingthebirds

Don't forget - the truth is yours.

Channel your inner queen - cool and calm on the outside, whatever you might feel underneath.

Remember we're standing behind you in spirit, wishing you all the best.

Exactly !!!

And I have read over the amazing tips and advice on here

So so grateful xxxxxx

Will be thinking of you this week. Stay strong.

@HirplesWithHaggis

Will be thinking of you this week. Stay strong.

Thanks again xxxx

Just to also say be very proud of yourself that you are doing this.

In the trial I gave evidence in, it went to a hung jury and I felt incredibly guilty for months that my evidence as a witness wasn't good enough for a full conviction. His barrister had managed to get the video evidence of the assault ruled inadmissible and because the lady he assaulted didn't give evidence, it became my word against his.

I felt dreadful but a few months afterwards I found out he had been fired from work

Sorry posted too soon (!) and his life had changed. He was guilty as sin and there was video to prove it.

I can see from some of the things you are saying that he probably never expected you to go this far. People like this never do as they think they will get away with it forever.

So whatever the outcome, the fact that you even got this far is life changing and you are doing a brilliant thing!

Good luck Queenie. Will be thinking of you. Stay strong and focus on the goal.. getting justice 💐

@StrongArm

Sorry posted too soon (!) and his life had changed. He was guilty as sin and there was video to prove it.

I can see from some of the things you are saying that he probably never expected you to go this far. People like this never do as they think they will get away with it forever.

So whatever the outcome, the fact that you even got this far is life changing and you are doing a brilliant thing!

Wow !!! It takes so much out of you doesn't it 😢😢😢

Well done for doing the right thing

@Morporkia

Good luck Queenie. Will be thinking of you. Stay strong and focus on the goal.. getting justice 💐

Please god this goes as it should

A guilty man
With so many pieces of eveidenxe against him

Who knows

Great lier and very charming
Arent they all 😢😢

Thinking of you. Stay calm and strong.

Another one thinking of you

@youvegottenminuteslynn @Lucywithout thank you
Thank you

I got this m
Still waiting to hear what to do

Keep telling myself i can take what they will throw at me
It's a pack of lies

I know the truth
I can speak the truth

And remember, take a deep breath before answering anything. A deep breath, say it in your head first, then out loud.

If you feel very anxious and it's bringing back the fear of the past then say "I am absolutely clear on what happened, I am just taking a moment to calm myself as these memories are obviously very distressing" or similar.

Take your time. It's YOUR time now.

Don't be tempted to fill silences if you've said what you want to say either. "Yes, that's correct." is a perfectly valid answer if it's the honest one.

You're telling the truth. Keep focusing on that.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

And remember, take a deep breath before answering anything. A deep breath, say it in your head first, then out loud.

If you feel very anxious and it's bringing back the fear of the past then say "I am absolutely clear on what happened, I am just taking a moment to calm myself as these memories are obviously very distressing" or similar.

Take your time. It's YOUR time now.

Don't be tempted to fill silences if you've said what you want to say either. "Yes, that's correct." is a perfectly valid answer if it's the honest one.

You're telling the truth. Keep focusing on that.

Excellent advice

So far not much happening

I need to breath in
Take my time

Let them try to get me but I only have the truth to tell

No web of lies to try and go back over

Thinking of you OP, remember we all believe you, you are speaking the truth. xx

@Pashazade

Thinking of you OP, remember we all believe you, you are speaking the truth. xx

Thank you

I'm up in the afternoon tomorrow

How will I ever manage this

This man is an awful human being