How do I stand up for myself facing my abuser in court

[Queenie6655]

Court case in a few days

I'm so so worried

Yes I have done nothing wrong

He has made it all out to be my fault

He tried to kill me
Hurt my child
Knife to my throat

I'm so used to believing this man and letting him get his way that I have mentally prepared myself for a total and utter shambles ahead of me and to be victim blamed

Why didn't I leave
Why forgive him!!

I caused a lot of these problems by covering up for him

How will I stand up for myself in court and try to tell my story ??!!!?

He could be testing you to see how willing you are to give evidence against him but that would be a very risky strategy. I'd agree that he's probably got legal advice that it's not looking very good for him at the moment. Like pp said, damage limitation for him. Defendants can change their plea whenever they want, even during the trial!

@Aliceinunderland

He could be testing you to see how willing you are to give evidence against him but that would be a very risky strategy. I'd agree that he's probably got legal advice that it's not looking very good for him at the moment. Like pp said, damage limitation for him. Defendants can change their plea whenever they want, even during the trial!

And sorry to sound stupid but he will now have to stick with his guilty pleas for some of the charges now that the CPs has been informed of his decision

So sorry for all the questions xxxxxxx

You have nothing to apologise for, I know those anxious feelings well! Technically he could change his mind again but he's unlikely to because he will likely have done it for a lesser sentence. He would have to formally change his plea to the judge as I presume he's already told the court he's not guilty of all charges and that would be done on day one of the trial.

@Aliceinunderland

You have nothing to apologise for, I know those anxious feelings well! Technically he could change his mind again but he's unlikely to because he will likely have done it for a lesser sentence. He would have to formally change his plea to the judge as I presume he's already told the court he's not guilty of all charges and that would be done on day one of the trial.

Yes he has indeed he has said not guilty all along

So helpful thank you yet again !!!

All of this so helpful

Many thanks again all

My stalker changed his plea to guilty at the last minute. I think he was banking on me not giving evidence and thought I would pull out of proceedings, so when I didn't he had to do something to lessen the consequences of his actions.

Can’t imagine the uncertainty you’re feeling right now OP, but if he’s pled guilty to some charges then it shows he knows or has been advised his evidence is lacking and your case and truth is much stronger!
I hope CPS proceed with the other charges if that is what you want also

Another person rooting for you op. Sounds like the pack of lies he has told about you has come crashing down around his head. The truth is yours and that's why he is having to plead guilty.
Good luck!

@youvegottenminuteslynn

My stalker changed his plea to guilty at the last minute. I think he was banking on me not giving evidence and thought I would pull out of proceedings, so when I didn't he had to do something to lessen the consequences of his actions.

I'm sorry you went through this

@Hairyhat @Thenshewasgone thanks so much guys
I'm was painted as a lying abuser

Now he has admired a lot of bad things

What will be next???

Thanks so much to everyone xxxxxx

Could he still go on with not guilty for everything?

What if by a small chance he is found not guilty ????

I doubt this could happen but just wondering !!!!

On reflection I wished I has realised the barristers were actually 'playing a part'.. Out of the court room mine and exh's barristers chatted like work colleagues and it seemed odd!! They are just doing a job. And remember your exh's defence only have his word. They possibly don't believe his rubbish!! But they are there to speak for him. I bumped into a member of Cafcass in town once. She hurried away. She knew she had been wrong to believe a word my ex said.. He lost anyway!! His own behaviour. Judge at last did see through him. It can be done op
Give a man enough rope and all that.
Be patient... And strong!!

@Brollywasntneededafterall

On reflection I wished I has realised the barristers were actually 'playing a part'.. Out of the court room mine and exh's barristers chatted like work colleagues and it seemed odd!! They are just doing a job. And remember your exh's defence only have his word. They possibly don't believe his rubbish!! But they are there to speak for him. I bumped into a member of Cafcass in town once. She hurried away. She knew she had been wrong to believe a word my ex said.. He lost anyway!! His own behaviour. Judge at last did see through him. It can be done op Give a man enough rope and all that. Be patient... And strong!!

Wow wow

Crazy isn't it !!

The system is awful

Please god let him just plead guilty and go to jail

Sadly it won't be that easy I fear

Hate this man so much

A bit more physical in terms of prep and maybe a good one to practice in the mirror but, before you go in; stand up tall, roll your shoulders back, let yourself take up space, plus big deep breaths. This will help you to settle and feel more confident. Possibly have a couple of good anthems on your phone to listen to, good f* you songs, something that makes you feel strong.
Create a short mantra, to repeat, say it to yourself in the mirror too. You can do this.

@Pashazade

A bit more physical in terms of prep and maybe a good one to practice in the mirror but, before you go in; stand up tall, roll your shoulders back, let yourself take up space, plus big deep breaths. This will help you to settle and feel more confident. Possibly have a couple of good anthems on your phone to listen to, good f* you songs, something that makes you feel strong. Create a short mantra, to repeat, say it to yourself in the mirror too. You can do this.

Yes

100 percent trying these out in the next few days

Fck this man I can't let him control my life any more

Years of listening to him tell me how terrible I am
How no one would believe me

Ha

Now he pleads guilty !!!!

Great tips

Need to keep myself calm

Thank you all

Any other tips please?

I don't think I will be called on the first day

Think that may be jury selection

Waiting for victim support to get back to me

No witness template

Need to wait to find out when I will be called

Just reading over this thread and making notes

So so grateful xxxxxx

Can you call the prosecution service to see if they can advise? (I have no idea, sorry.)

I've been through Jury Service (I had just turned 18!), it took the morning of the first day so your case could start in the afternoon.

Also it doesn't really matter if he is eloquent and personable, it will give no weight to his words.

Please, please, please remember Queenie that we are all massively behind you. You can, and will, do this.

good luck @Queenie6655

Thank you all so so much

Massively appreciated

Have emailed victim support

I think they will notify me the day before I am due

Ughhhh not knowing sucks so bad

Wish the creep would just own up and accept what he has done

Thanks again to everyone went back through each reply this morning when I was panicking

Anyone know what happens if he continues to plead guilty for only some of the charges not all??

Will the other charge then not be mentioned in the court case?

Sweet lord this is insane

How did my life come to this

How did my life come to this @Queenie6655

Because you were unlucky enough to meet a bastard. But you're nailing him now for all he put you through. You have the courage and the strength to get through this - as well as having right on your side.

Soon you'll be on the other side, and free to shape your life however you choose.

Be totally honest and keep your eyes focused on the judge.
I agree you could ask for a screen.
I have had to give evidence in court, l had same concerns as yourself, but on the actual day l didn't feel as nervous because l knew l had nothing to hide.