Just found out he has agreed to joint life insurance with ex

[easterdaffsx]

Omg I am just so so gutted .
Moved on with dp 2 years ago .
When we joined back accounts I noticed dhe was still paying a dd to a joint life insurance with his ex fiancé .
Asked him to please sort ( we've been together almost 5 years and I believed he just hadn't gotten around to sorting ) and then the problem was he needed her consent to terminate because they'd been separated over 12 months and it was joint .
Long story short they spoke and she asked if she could take over the policy but he didn't share that with me even though he knew I was fairly upset and wanted it cancelled regardless .
Then the solicitor clearly states that if this happens in the event of either party dying the insurance goes to the surviving party .
In the email I have seen he has agreed to this .
So basically I was never to know .

Shit .... I thought he might have feelings for her still and she's married now .
Feel like my entire world just fell apart .
Please is there any way I'm overthinking this ?

How is it your business?

Please is there any way I'm overthinking this ?

Yes

Do they have kids?

Perhaps helps
If they have kids? I think it's so hard to get life insurance the older you get so maybe worth him keeping it?

No no dc .
They were together for 3 years .

Why is it my business ?
Because I have 4 dc and we own a house together and if the worst happened his life insurance goes to a woman he was witb years ago who is now married to someone else .
It's not about the money I can support myself its just really upset me . What's okay about it ? If I'm overthinking that's good because I hope I am . I just really can't se why it's okay .

Does he have another life insurance ? What about his death in service who is the beneficiary there?

What's her reasons for wanting it to continue?

Are they his children? Maybe he should get another insurance out and cancel the one he has with her then.

I don't think you're over thinking. I'd be furious and incredibly hurt.

Wtf is he doing?

Trying to work out why she wants to keep it?

What's his plan for if he dies? How does he expect you to keep the mortgage going?

Does he have a will for his other assets?

His ex girlfriend has now remarried and therefore are your sure that they haven't established a Trust for their child? If they don't have kids this isn't really appropriate in my opinion, especially as they weren't married right? However I'm sure most posters will tell you it's his money to do with what he likes! It does suggest you're not on the same page about your future to me.

I was thinking it was good that he was keeping it up until I got to the bit where it turns out they don't have DC. Now it makes no sense.

Sorry cross posted. Well it makes no sense to me and I'd be really upset.

That's the only details I have .
She asked if she could take it over so she still had a policy
Solicitor said yes if my my partner agreed but he made it clear the beneficiary would be the surviving party and she has replied that's he's agreed amd he has .

No we don't have joint life insurance it's separate .
He has no will we just haven't got around to sorting some things yet as both worked flat out ridiculous hours throughout covid and moved house too so that was kind of next .
Dc are mine but he's an active step father and they are all really close .
He has no dc if his own .
I really don't get why they think this is okay regardless of the money .
.

Why would he spend his money on this? It’s mad!! Unless his ex is a millionaire this does not make sense at all. I don’t know how these things work but could either of them even make a successful claim if they are not in a subsisting relationship when one of them dies.

Vincent his ex has taken over the payments and the direct debit completely .... it's just been raised by the solicitor that payment would be made to the surviving party .

If she is 'taking it over' it sounds like she is going to pay for all of it. If she dies he will get the money and if he dies she will get the money but she will pay all the premiums herself. So he isn't spending money on it. He has let her take it over. That makes more sense.

X post

On the plus side, if she dies first, he gets the money… in fact there’s no benefit to her or her family in this policy unless your DH dies first! So keeping it so that she still has a policy makes no sense what so ever.

You need to talk to him about this. We can’t answer how this happened or why
I’m sorry

@ToomuchHeat

Does he have another life insurance ? What about his death in service who is the beneficiary there?

Death in what service? Have I missed something, has OP says her partner is in the forces?

She might have got a health condition since taking out the policy which would mean it's more expensive to take out new coverage ... that's all I can imagine ??

( I mean I imagine there's some small print about informing an existing insurer but unsure)

Are you married? I Don't really understand why he's done it tbh, does seem a bit weird. Have you got a life insurance that leaves him money should the worse happens?!

"Death in service" isn't an armed forces thing. It's a perk given by an employer - my dad died "in service" (while employed by a big company) and my mum got a lump sum. DH is employed by a call centre, his "death in service" pays a years salary as a lump sum.