Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021

[BelladiMamma]

I've put a screenshot of the RULES here

Dear newbies and oldies they're excellent words of wisdom and deserve to be read frequently

Here's to all of us navigating the sea of twats, the tsunami of penpals and the ever receding tide of ghosters

Let's kick them into touch and have a summer of love ❤️

@Naimee87 thank you I just don't get people. I work with the woman so it's not as if we'll never see each other. As for Mr Cricket I think I'm just having a shit time, going to take myself out for a long walk tomorrow see if that clears my head. I'm sure it's nothing and I'm just worrying over nothing and he has just been busy and ill.

@Languidleopard
@Naimee87
Thanks for the well wishes 😁 had a great time with MrItaly.. I fancy him in the flesh and we had loads to chat about, he was a gentleman with not one hint of sleaze but made me feel attractive still. He insisted on paying for everything. OK snog at the end, no electricity but I'm willing to work on that. And at least he didn't put his hand on my boob and/or my THROAT during the snog like the last guy did(!) Already got next date in the diary

Going to have to force myself to not get too invested! Way too early to see if it has legs..

@FireandBrimstone 9 conversations!! NINE!! I can barely manage 2 before one of them has either pissed me off or ignored me!!

@Heartbeats0708 thanks so much! Hoping your feeling ok/better about the news! So nice to hear you're enjoying MrD too! MrElf is more the other way round he's full of stories. He's lived a far more adventurous life to mine so i'm more than happy to sit back and listen really. His english is so cute! I'm trying to train the american accent out a bit and get some mancunian-isms in there.

[quote Bbub]@Languidleopard
@Naimee87
Thanks for the well wishes 😁 had a great time with MrItaly.. I fancy him in the flesh and we had loads to chat about, he was a gentleman with not one hint of sleaze but made me feel attractive still. He insisted on paying for everything. OK snog at the end, no electricity but I'm willing to work on that. And at least he didn't put his hand on my boob and/or my THROAT during the snog like the last guy did(!) Already got next date in the diary

Going to have to force myself to not get too invested! Way too early to see if it has legs..

@FireandBrimstone 9 conversations!! NINE!! I can barely manage 2 before one of them has either pissed me off or ignored me!![/quote]
Great update re MrItaly. Squeeze your throat??? Ffs that is a actually a bona fide red flag right there

@BelladiMamma the last guy I kissed, after our lips initially touched his hand immediately went to my boob then shortly after went to my throat 😳, he didn't squeeze but sort of rested it there briefly. But it showed me he was going to be trying to choke me during sex and also probably a porn addict 🤮 I just thought it was so weird as it wasnt after a passionate snogging session where I could imagine someone testing the boundaries a bit..

MrItaly touched my chin a few times and I had to keep changing positions to get his had away as I've got some really stubbly chin hairs today 😳😳😳

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards totally understand your point of view on this. And getting involved in something so tricky could be just a waste of time in the end. Time you could be spending with someone worth your time!

[quote Bbub]@BelladiMamma the last guy I kissed, after our lips initially touched his hand immediately went to my boob then shortly after went to my throat 😳, he didn't squeeze but sort of rested it there briefly. But it showed me he was going to be trying to choke me during sex and also probably a porn addict 🤮 I just thought it was so weird as it wasnt after a passionate snogging session where I could imagine someone testing the boundaries a bit..

MrItaly touched my chin a few times and I had to keep changing positions to get his had away as I've got some really stubbly chin hairs today 😳😳😳[/quote]
OMG 😱

I mean this is when I go from thinking I'm a liberated woman to just NO THANK YOU

@FireandBrimstone yes, I heard from him last night and we met for coffee date zero today…2 hours flew by, I definitely fancied him, he’s very attractive, we work in the same industry but different companies, he’s based in the UK and I’m in Ireland so we had lots to chat about. Did enjoy the ‘date’ and I think he may have too! Did send a thanks, really enjoyed meeting you text to which he responded and I’m going to see if he’d like to have lunch one day next week, I’ve no issues with asking him and if he says no, well at least I know! Thanks for asking…. Did I mention he was super fucking hot!!! Always a bonus!

[quote Bbub]@Languidleopard
@Naimee87
Thanks for the well wishes 😁 had a great time with MrItaly.. I fancy him in the flesh and we had loads to chat about, he was a gentleman with not one hint of sleaze but made me feel attractive still. He insisted on paying for everything. OK snog at the end, no electricity but I'm willing to work on that. And at least he didn't put his hand on my boob and/or my THROAT during the snog like the last guy did(!) Already got next date in the diary

Going to have to force myself to not get too invested! Way too early to see if it has legs..

@FireandBrimstone 9 conversations!! NINE!! I can barely manage 2 before one of them has either pissed me off or ignored me!![/quote]
That's great news @Bbub and sounds really promising 😁

The snog sounds like it might be a slow burn. Sometimes when I've had that instant electricity from the word go, it becomes physical too quickly and I stop listening to my inner voice because my libido takes charge. So imo, slow burn is better.

As for the boob/throat groper...just no.

A quick update from me. After having one match on Bumble, all of a sudden this morning I had four.

I have a really busy week ahead including a trip out of town for a few days so I messaged one, extended another and decided to let one go as I wasn't sure about him. The fourth one extended me. Can guys on Bumble only do this if they pay for premium does anyone know?

Wow so many posts and posters on here at the moment, I’m dizzy
Well done on the test @Naimee87
@cravingthelook hope you feel better soon - seems like you are making the right decision about Mr HT
@Alexandradream I’m in Ireland too - welcome 🤗 date sounds great

Think I have a date zero tomorrow- still to be firmed up so not getting my hopes up - and if he can’t meet tomorrow I’m letting it fizzle out as I don’t want to be messaging for weeks on end.

@BelladiMamma same here NO THANK YOU indeed. In my day a bit of hair pulling and spanking was considered really kinky, things have changed and I'm not willing to join in!

@Languidleopard
Very good point about things moving too fast if the chemistry is too good at the start. And I think it is just those with premium who can use the extension on Bumble. Are you going to give him a go?

@Languidleopard You get one per day if you don’t pay. Unlimited if you do.

Why not say you’re busy/going on holiday and would prefer to chat in a week or so to the extensions ? See if they listen to you and get back to you. Much better than an extension as a show of both respect and interest.

[quote Bbub]@BelladiMamma same here NO THANK YOU indeed. In my day a bit of hair pulling and spanking was considered really kinky, things have changed and I'm not willing to join in!

@Languidleopard
Very good point about things moving too fast if the chemistry is too good at the start. And I think it is just those with premium who can use the extension on Bumble. Are you going to give him a go?[/quote]
If I trust someone and I'm in a genuinely full filling sexual relationship there's a lot of things I'll try. Choking however is not one of them and never will be. It regularly appears on police domestic abuse checklists. When I was assaulted by a partner it was one of things they specifically asked me about as it's an indicator for homicide.

You think these guys don't know thar, don't care, or are actually just showing you they're dangerous.

@MayEye… it was really nice, I’ve been a lurker here and have learnt lots. I had very limited expectations but we definitely hit it off. The pool of men in Dublin is quite small on the apps and this man is attractive, articulate and for people outside our industry has a ‘sexy’ job so suspect he’s on lots of coffee dates. I’ve read the rules and am determined not to over invest but will be proactive in asking him out again! If there’s another date, he’ll get a name!

OK, so both men and women get one extension per day if they're on free Bumble? That makes sense.

@Bbub and @HairyArsedMan I messaged one already. And yes good suggestion Hairy about contacting the other two and asking for more time.

He's very serious, quite alpha and our exchange felt a bit like he was interviewing for a job. He's an accountant so rather unimaginatively I'm going to call him Mr Accountant

He lives a mile or so from me which would be convenient. I have an unusual first name and my job is quite niche so I'm certain he was straight onto LinkedIn to check me out after we messaged 🤣

1 major positive - I let him know that I wasn't into epic text convos using the wording suggested by Hairy re my previous iron Mr Long Distance and it worked like a charm! He suggested that we talk on the phone instead, which suits me much better and we've agreed to do so on Monday eve.

I think he might be a little earnest for me but I'm going to see what happens.

[quote Naimee87]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards totally understand your point of view on this. And getting involved in something so tricky could be just a waste of time in the end. Time you could be spending with someone worth your time![/quote]
@Naimee87 absolutely agree with you. 🙂

I was a bit worried when I last wrote to you that you thought I was having a go at you. I think you're lovely and I always value your advice, and look forward to seeing your posts! ❤️😘

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards no way, we‘re absolutely fine [heart] i love hearing your updates too… and i‘m all ears for the next chats you get started up! 🤩💕

@Heartbeats0708 glad you've been having a nice time with MrD 💗

@BelladiMamma maybe Mr Irish doesn't want his family to know he’s on dating spps, they might start interrogating him 🙂

@StartingAgain33 agree with Bella just take a bit of time out.. I also live vicariously through here 😬

However reading all these posts where there are good chats and meets happening it’s making me wonder if I should go on again?

@Isitreallyme177 sending a hug, I’m also going to have a really long walk today.

@Bbub exciting about MrItaly! That is frightening about the throat grabber 😣

Morning all. Congrats @Naimee87 on the test. Am feeling a bit despondent today - went to an event with some couple friends last night and felt a bit conspicuously single. But I hate OLD. A few friends have also said I get bored easily and I'm not quite sure how to take that...

Hi @Misty9 I hate those times where your singleness makes you feel awkward. Weirdly I was thinking about this myself earlier. I remember my dad always going to social things with his friends (all in couples) as a single man and I just used to think he was so cool still going, despite feeling awkward himself. He always still completely fitted in even though he was on his own. I think it’s just all about confidence being confident in yourself and accepting sometimes there will be times where it feels uncomfortable, but maybe one day that will change.. and being single is better than being stuck with a bad partner 💗

Morning all. I think I'm going to have to give my new Bumble iron a name. He recommended a film last night that I enjoyed. His comms are excellent - giving some of himself, being interested in me, being present but not overwhelming. So far we're a good match. He's 5'10" which is not perfect but ok to my 5'6"/5'7". Slim build which may make me feel like a heffer. Also quite far away. We'll see. I'll call him Mr Ecology.

@Misty9 I had that last month, I went round to a friend's to watch the football everyone there were couples and had their children with them except me and her brother in law. It was at that moment I missed being part of a couple so much. I had a great time but it brought home how single (and childless) I was.

@Shayelle2009 sending you a hug too. I'm hoping the rain holds off so i can actually get out.

@WeWantTheFinestWines that sounds promising! Do you have any plans to meet up?

@Isitreallyme177 it is TORRENTIAL here ☔️😓 i am 100% going out in it though. When I’ve hauled my arse up and got ready 😁