Page 34 | Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021

BelladiMamma · 2021-08-06T07:33:52+00:00

I've put a screenshot of the RULES here Dear newbies and oldies they're excellent words of wisdom and deserve to be read frequently Here's to all of us navigating the sea of twats, the tsunami of penpals and the ever receding tide of ghosters Let's kick them into touch and have a summer of love ❤️

Isitreallyme177 · 14/08/2021 10:54

@Eesha thank you. I want to stay friends with him as we get on so well but we shall have to see. Im off to get my nails done later too. Hope you had a nice break.

@Naimee87 it really did help I think. That and finally getting my flat sorted. I have a lovely office/spare room now. If anyone comes to stay they can have an air bed on the floor. After the state it was left in I had my doubts on whether it could look nice but it has and all on a tight budget (I had just enough white paint left over from when I painted the bathroom and kitchen and I love bargain hunting). I also realised just how much my lodger was bringing me down, she was never happy and that didn't help me (if I had a problem with a friend she would make it out to be 10 times worse than it was) . It does feel like the start of a new chapter.

As for Mr Cricket the ball is firmly in his court, he was his usual charming self on Thursday in response to my message. There is obviously something more going on but for now I'm going to leave it.

dancemom · 14/08/2021 11:38

WTF is it with grown men, seemingly smart educated men, being unable to carry a conversation?? I have matched with 5 men I'd put in the "middle aged, professional job" category in the last 2 days and not one of them can carry a conversation. It's all answering any questions I ask but not asking any themselves or giving one word answers or non leading answers. It's painful. I know people can get jaded with the whole matching and getting to know someone chat but surely you have to have some conversation skills?

Original poster

BelladiMamma · 14/08/2021 11:38

@Isitreallyme177 just reading your messages makes me feel that people don't value honesty enough. Everyone feels like it's better 'not to hurt people / let things blow over' or worse, keep them in reserve.

That's why I always tell people I'm not feeling it, and if they keep messaging in a way that makes me understand they are hoping for more, I often tell them if I've connected with someone else already. Because the constant questioning of yourself is awful - we've all been there & however brutal, the truth is liberating.

Other than that bloody well done for your spare room!!! And a blessing that the lodger moved on xx

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dancemom · 14/08/2021 11:42

And while I'm ranting, what's with all the young boys making a profile and putting their age as 40 something then putting in their profile I'm 25 but want an older woman" and think we are going to fall over ourselves .... if I wanted to date a 20 something I can put that in my search parameters thank you very much!

Original poster

BelladiMamma · 14/08/2021 11:47

@dancemom

And while I'm ranting, what's with all the young boys making a profile and putting their age as 40 something then putting in their profile I'm 25 but want an older woman" and think we are going to fall over ourselves .... if I wanted to date a 20 something I can put that in my search parameters thank you very much!

I'm really not into younger men, I hate that too. We are in a dating site with our own preferences thanks, please don't try to 'persuade' me otherwise

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Isitreallyme177 · 14/08/2021 11:59

@BelladiMamma thank you all done for less than 100 quid (including the desk, chair, some new pictures and a rug).

As for honesty I agree, sugar coating doesn't work in the long run. I do think I got carried away and probably (okay definitely) mistook his actions for something more. We connected as friends which at our age I think is quite rare. I'm glad I sent the message to him on Thursday just to help clear the air and the misunderstandings.

I'll find Mr Right and it will be the right time for both of us. Xxx

Original poster

BelladiMamma · 14/08/2021 12:18

[quote Isitreallyme177]@BelladiMamma thank you all done for less than 100 quid (including the desk, chair, some new pictures and a rug).

As for honesty I agree, sugar coating doesn't work in the long run. I do think I got carried away and probably (okay definitely) mistook his actions for something more. We connected as friends which at our age I think is quite rare. I'm glad I sent the message to him on Thursday just to help clear the air and the misunderstandings.

I'll find Mr Right and it will be the right time for both of us. Xxx[/quote]
Friends is also good! But you can't catch feelings if you're a friend xxx

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MayEye · 14/08/2021 14:02

@dancemom

And while I'm ranting, what's with all the young boys making a profile and putting their age as 40 something then putting in their profile I'm 25 but want an older woman" and think we are going to fall over ourselves .... if I wanted to date a 20 something I can put that in my search parameters thank you very much!

Agree with this so much. I’ve had a number of 20 somethings message me, often just give their number straight away like this middle aged woman will be grateful for this young stud showing interest! If I want a young stud for hook ups I’ll find them myself! ( I don’t - it’s creepy!) I got chatting to a new iron last night and it was one of those hit it off immediately chats where you are smiling at every message. He messaged me again this morning and asked could he call and we chatted on the phone for over an hour-he’s attractive, stable, said really nice things about his ex and we seem to be so on the same page about lots of things - I’m actually excited to see if it goes anywhere! Which has me wondering about Mondays date! I don’t feel that same excitement and the conversation is more serious but I still like him and would actually feel bad if I say I’m not coming now as he made all the effort. But I know I don’t find him as attractive. Although today’s iron might disappear with a new match in a second and I need to be open and not over invest. I also have my intense iron who I am very intrigued by and want to meet. But he has the family issues and no headspace but has deleted his dating profile and continues to message me very intensely

Like buses…..

Original poster

BelladiMamma · 14/08/2021 14:06

@MayEye I've been in your situation and I think at this stage it's fine to keep up comms and meets with others.

I did cancel a date zero with the guy who's voice I didn't like, which just goes to show you should always screen with a call or a voice note!

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Original poster

BelladiMamma · 14/08/2021 14:08

@MayEye @dancemom also from the little experience I have with younger guys they're not studs and aren't always great in bed. They just don't know their way round a woman the same way an older guy does!!

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Bbub · 14/08/2021 14:37

@dancemom

And while I'm ranting, what's with all the young boys making a profile and putting their age as 40 something then putting in their profile I'm 25 but want an older woman" and think we are going to fall over ourselves .... if I wanted to date a 20 something I can put that in my search parameters thank you very much!

Yes I've seen this quite a lot lately. I'm not against going with a younger guy but I wonder if these are guys who think older women should be grateful for their attention 😒

MayEye · 14/08/2021 15:00

@Bbub I think they are. I know I’m attractive to men my own age but I am under no illusion that a 25 year old would want to take me out with him and his friends. He wants sex with a ‘cougar’ and that’s it. If that’s what I wanted that would be great but I’m after a relationship with an equal.

MayEye · 14/08/2021 15:02

Not that I would want to hang with a 25 year old and his friends in any scenario, let’s be clear 😂

Thisisworsethananticpated · 14/08/2021 15:06

Oh I love the rules

I had a dip this summer and it was like being in my 20s again albeit with far more texting and a slightly less peachy body

Does anyone have any tips on finding a fwb

Does such a thing even exist ?

Thisisworsethananticpated · 14/08/2021 15:14

God I’ve only read a few posts but I’m relieved

It’s not just me
It’s crazy

All I want is a shag !!!!

Eesha · 14/08/2021 15:45

@Walkingalot it's completely OK, he probably changed his mind but didn't want to say anything which is fair enough. I think the universe has its way of making things right for us all.

MayEye · 14/08/2021 16:01

@Thisisworsethananticpated finding a fwb is probably the easiest thing to find when OLD.

Shuffleuplove · 14/08/2021 16:03

Hang on hang on

I’m not getting any attention at all from dashing young blades! I got one this morning though who is 80, wears a wig and wants a “female” between 48-55. His children don’t live with him, presumably because they have died of old age.

Original poster

BelladiMamma · 14/08/2021 16:10

[quote MayEye]@Thisisworsethananticpated finding a fwb is probably the easiest thing to find when OLD.[/quote]
How? I find ONS easy to find (but turn them down) but not a proper FWB

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Original poster

BelladiMamma · 14/08/2021 16:10

@Shuffleuplove

Hang on hang on

I’m not getting any attention at all from dashing young blades! I got one this morning though who is 80, wears a wig and wants a “female” between 48-55. His children don’t live with him, presumably because they have died of old age.

😂😂😂

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SpringlikeBunk · 14/08/2021 16:15

@Shuffleuplove

SpringlikeBunk · 14/08/2021 16:18

@Eesha

Yeh I'm the same if I go away tbh prefer to not access phone?

Also agree with your attitude - I don't want to be forced into sending loads of messages to "keep someone's interest".

If they're drawn to me enough then they can remember who I am after two weeks without me chasing!

WeWantTheFinestWines · 14/08/2021 16:19

@Shuffleuplove

Hang on hang on

I’m not getting any attention at all from dashing young blades! I got one this morning though who is 80, wears a wig and wants a “female” between 48-55. His children don’t live with him, presumably because they have died of old age.

🤣🤣🤣

Original poster

BelladiMamma · 14/08/2021 16:34

Quick question about two irons I've friend zoned - MrCypriot and MrLocal

MrCypriot has booked for 2 gigs that I spoke to him about. Not to go together, more 'I like the sound of that I'm booking too'. I mean I get that it's a free country but I don't want to have to socialise with him or hang out just because we are going to the same gigs. I had been thinking that I was going to send him a closure message but of course he's going to be at these gigs. One is huge and I won't see him in all likelihood but the other is small

MrLocal has sent me a few messages since I friend zoned him and has now sent me a photo of him at the place he'd suggested for date zero, at the time he'd suggested we meet - which I couldn't make anyway then I friend zoned him.

Should I send both a proper closure message then block them? I don't have a particularly strong gut reaction to either of these things but it's like they're keeping me involved in their lives & I'm just not interested in them. They've both been told we are friend zoning and that I don't want to have long conversations as I'm trying to Recover from my accident

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Shuffleuplove · 14/08/2021 16:40

Honesty is the best policy I think.