Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021

[BelladiMamma]

I've put a screenshot of the RULES here

Dear newbies and oldies they're excellent words of wisdom and deserve to be read frequently

Here's to all of us navigating the sea of twats, the tsunami of penpals and the ever receding tide of ghosters

Let's kick them into touch and have a summer of love ❤️

@WeWantTheFinestWines

They say the loneliest people are beautiful women and shy men...

Mr penpal is a nervous shy man. Major anxiety.

He is lonely by choice as he could have me

@BelladiMamma this cracked me up “ - I can totally imagine sleeping with him and then saying to him 'I seem to have slept with you by mistake' 🤣”

That has actually literally happened to me a few times haha. Not for a looooong time though! (Sadly! Not for want of trying 🤣🤣)

I’m going to give tomorrow’s tradesman a name - MrHunk (as he is..) I’ll report back if there is any juicy gossip… (would it be OTT to open the door in the morning in a wedding dress saying ‘I doooo’ like Rachel haha…)

[quote Shayelle2009]@BelladiMamma this cracked me up “ - I can totally imagine sleeping with him and then saying to him 'I seem to have slept with you by mistake' 🤣”

That has actually literally happened to me a few times haha. Not for a looooong time though! (Sadly! Not for want of trying 🤣🤣)

I’m going to give tomorrow’s tradesman a name - MrHunk (as he is..) I’ll report back if there is any juicy gossip… (would it be OTT to open the door in the morning in a wedding dress saying ‘I doooo’ like Rachel haha…)[/quote]
I'd love humour to play a much bigger role in my dating life 😂 I DOOOOO 😂

@WeWantTheFinestWines

They say the loneliest people are beautiful women and shy men...

That explains everything 😘🤣

I’ve just googled that film.. I’ve never seen it.. it looks really funny, got to watch that later 🙂🙂

@dancemom that zero date sounds hideous but I think you're right in that it's surely as low as it can go and it can only get better herein 🤞

Well Mr Cricket responded this morning, he has been busy training and flying, and is now on standby so could be called up at any minute. To be fair I don't think it's a lie and at least he has the chance of flying again which for him is his career and what he spent thousands of pounds(more than you do on a degree) training for so to be grounded must have been hard for him.

To be honest I'm happy for him because I know how much it means to him. I'll get over not seeing him and hey he responded.

Glad you heard back @Isitreallyme177.. im not sure you should invite him anywhere now though, if it was me I’d leave that alone now. But everyone’s different! 💗 hope you’re ok today x

Glad he's been in touch @isitreallyme177 but as busy as he's been it would have taken literally a few seconds to message "hi, sorry completely swamped here, will be in touch when things calm" or the like 🤷‍♀️ like @Shayelle2009 id leave ball in his court now as it was him that originally friendzoned anyway

No update from me. Not seen MrHair for over a week now. Not sure when we will. I have been asked out a couple of times by someone on twitter though that lives locally but who is a good 15 years younger than me 🤦‍♀️😆

I'm so pleased you all took my post yesterday morning in the spirit it was intended.

Here's today's thought of the day....

@Slothmomma what harm would a coffee and a chat do!!

@Shayelle2009 and @Slothmomma I've just messaged back saying I'm glad training went well etc. Shown him a little of my geekiness by asking what plane he flies, have been wanting to ask for ages. I've always been fascinated by planes ever since I was a child, I even had a book that the captain used to sign every time I flew. I'm an Ex army brat and also have a thing for fighter jets!

@Shayelle2009 😆 I think I'd feel so old 😱 he's a bit of an entrepreneur and bit if a minor celeb in his community I think whereas I'm a middle aged divorced single mom of 3 who has gone back to school - I doubt we'd have much in common 😉

@isitreallyme177 I probably would have sent something back too but just don't give too much head space now to whether he reads it/how long to reply etc

Thought of the day also

Thank you to whoever linked the Female Dating Strategy on Reddit. I've been reading a lot on there and much of it links to the book "why men love bitches" which I'm currently reading a 2nd time, so it feels helpful to solidify some of those ideas.

I really like the concept of making your self unattractive to "Low Value Men" by having boundaries and standards and giving off a certain level of high maintenance-ness.. Ive got to shake the idea that being unattractive is always a bad thing! I feel like I want even the loser guys to desire me. Like when an old iron gets back in touch, even if i ignore them I still feel like "yep obviously you want me", but it's headspace I'd rather not give, and I shouldn't trick myself that they want me because I'm special because it's really just them trying to get a shag.

@Bbub can you summarise the key points of “why men love bitches”?

[quote Shuffleuplove]@Bbub can you summarise the key points of “why men love bitches”? [/quote]
I can post a few screenshots...hang on.

@SortingItOut

How far away does he live? Could you drive to his and leave on the doorstep and ring him to ssy its there/leave in a safe space? If too far could you courier it?

What is he going to change during the time he has his kids to make your communication styles align more and for him to be more available?

I know you've asked him to up the contact before and it worked a bit but realistically is he going to change that much?
If he's not why are you giving him the time of day?

He's local but there's nowhere safe to leave the stuff and they're bulky items so not sure would fit in my car. I can imagine he's the sort to just write those kind of things off. He's definitely ignoring me now.

As for why I'm thinking things would change? I guess I'm questioning whether my needs are unreasonable and whether I can compromise... it doesn't help that a friend declared me as being too needy the other day... But you're right. I am worth more. Hey ho. I'm back on tinder 😬

Love this

Also.

I can post more later

Ah shit it took the attachments off the last one

No it didn't 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Slothmomma I'm not going to(although he again read it almost straight away), I'm slowly dying of embarrassment after letting him see some of my geekiness. So the longer he takes to reply the longer my embarrassment has to disappear😂.

@Misty9 No one is ever too needy.
Yes you have needs like everyone ekse but that does not make you needy.

Compromise is good in relationships but with Mr BE you wouldnt be compromising you would be changing your whole thought on communication, he is so far the opposite ebd of the communication spectrum I'm not sure if you can compromise that much.

You will meet someone who matches your communication needs or if they dont match completely you'll feel secure enough not to care.

Next time don't let a man leave anything at your house otherwise you end up like this and 'having' to have contact when the relationship has ended and it leaves you clinging on to a tiny bit of hope.