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Original poster

Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021

999 replies

BelladiMamma · 06/08/2021 08:33

I've put a screenshot of the RULES here

Dear newbies and oldies they're excellent words of wisdom and deserve to be read frequently

Here's to all of us navigating the sea of twats, the tsunami of penpals and the ever receding tide of ghosters

Let's kick them into touch and have a summer of love ❤️

Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021
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Thread gallery
16
Dropdeadfred2 · 08/08/2021 21:44

Sooo....Mr Talker called me and chatted for a while and i suggested i call him later as I was busy with my daughter. He agreed...1 min later he called me ..i answered and he spoke exactly how he speaks to me... then when i answered he realised he'd called me by mistake and just said wrong number and put the phone down!!!

ActonSquirrel · 08/08/2021 21:47

I sent Mr Penpal a message. Been online but no reply. So deleted it. He will see I've done that though 🤦🏼‍♀️😫

Original poster
BelladiMamma · 08/08/2021 21:48

@Dropdeadfred2

Sooo....Mr Talker called me and chatted for a while and i suggested i call him later as I was busy with my daughter. He agreed...1 min later he called me ..i answered and he spoke exactly how he speaks to me... then when i answered he realised he'd called me by mistake and just said wrong number and put the phone down!!!
Oh my god. That's awful. So sorry. Just goes to show why we shouldn't invest too much, everyone is chatting to kids of people!!
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Original poster
BelladiMamma · 08/08/2021 21:51

So one of my irons just left me a voice note and I really don't like his voice.

Another one messaged me to say he's been in bed hungover all day.

Am tempted to bin them both off.

Can someone give me some good ways of putting it?!

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SpringlikeBunk · 08/08/2021 21:57

@BelladiMamma

"Hi X - been great chatting with you but something random has come up and can't meet now so don't want to waste your time communicating further . All the best Y"

Hopefully that's it but block if they get silly

Original poster
BelladiMamma · 08/08/2021 21:59

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@BelladiMamma

"Hi X - been great chatting with you but something random has come up and can't meet now so don't want to waste your time communicating further . All the best Y"

Hopefully that's it but block if they get silly[/quote]
Yes. I think so. I'll send it in the morning - maybe like a 'I'm just not recovering quickly enough from my accident so don't want to waste your time'

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Original poster
BelladiMamma · 08/08/2021 21:59

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@BelladiMamma

"Hi X - been great chatting with you but something random has come up and can't meet now so don't want to waste your time communicating further . All the best Y"

Hopefully that's it but block if they get silly[/quote]
Thanks x

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ActonSquirrel · 08/08/2021 22:05

@BelladiMamma

So one of my irons just left me a voice note and I really don't like his voice.

Another one messaged me to say he's been in bed hungover all day.

Am tempted to bin them both off.

Can someone give me some good ways of putting it?!

I'd say straight up to the drunk guy...gosh that's unattractive and leave it at that

Just ignore the other one he'll get it

Original poster
BelladiMamma · 08/08/2021 22:12

@ActonSquirrel I hear you but I think I prefer to be more transparent, then there is less chance of a come back later. They can't question whether or not you're interested

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Walkingalot · 08/08/2021 22:24

@VanGoghsDog - I'm afraid you are probably right. I haven't had any good night msg and I seriously doubt I'll get a good morning one. Heyho.
@troobleflooble - Sounds great with MrMetal. Fingers crossed for you.
@Dropdeadfred2 - That's a bit suspicious don't you think. He could have simply said 'oh sorry, meant to ring my Mum etc' but hanging up is like he felt caught out. Maybe another iron on the go?

Shayelle2009 · 08/08/2021 22:26

Haha.. @SpringlikeBunk ‘something random has come up’… 😂 excellent excuse!! 🤣🤣

@troobleflooble yay for a great 2nd date 😄

ActonSquirrel · 08/08/2021 22:26

[quote BelladiMamma]@ActonSquirrel I hear you but I think I prefer to be more transparent, then there is less chance of a come back later. They can't question whether or not you're interested [/quote]
It isn't a big deal. Either block them or say I don't like your voice or men who lie in bed all day with hangovers

Onesmallstep67 · 08/08/2021 22:27

bella I used to say something along the lines that I had begun to make a connection with someone else so I was going to focus on that. Then wish them good luck.

Languidleopard · 08/08/2021 22:28

[quote Walkingalot]@Iamclearlyamug - Dave looks a bit of alright! Wink

MrBE was online 1/2 hr ago and still no response. Hmm If he sends a 'good night' msg, shall I either - a) ignore b) just say good night c) ignore and continue to do so - let him slow fade away unless he actually responds to my opening up to him with prompt or d) actually challenge him on why he made no comment? I absolutely hate game playing and it's not like we've not been down this road before.
(((big sigh)))[/quote]
@Walkingalot I'm with @VanGoghsDog on this one.

If you're having to put a lot of mental energy into thinking about how to respond to get them to react in a certain way then it starts to feel like hard work.

I also really don't like this inane goodnight messages. IMO it's like they're trying to keep you close with minimum effort.

I think you should do whatever makes you feel the best. Accept you can't influence his behaviour so as long as you're kind and respectful, respond in the way that suits you.

SpringlikeBunk · 08/08/2021 22:29

Arf @Shayelle2009

I guess if they haven’t done anything wrong but I’ve just gone off them it’s better to be as grey-rock/neutral as possible.

I feel lines like “I don’t see us as a long term match for X reason” sound a bit pompous and arrogant!

Actually just fading out is ok 99% of the time if the chatting hasn’t gone on for ages or a meet isn’t on the cards seems to be the norm in my age range?

Languidleopard · 08/08/2021 22:36

@ActonSquirrel

I sent Mr Penpal a message. Been online but no reply. So deleted it. He will see I've done that though 🤦🏼‍♀️😫
@ActonSquirrel if you don't feel ready to block and delete Mr Penpal's number yet can you archive the WhatsApp chat to remove the temptation? I don't think this guy has the capacity to give you what you need and is always going to disappoint you. Sorry 😔 I think you deserve better than this!
ActonSquirrel · 08/08/2021 22:39

@Languidleopard

He does often text me loads and loads and initiate. I just can't stand it when he is quiet. I'm sure it is nothing to do with me though

Languidleopard · 08/08/2021 22:46

[quote troobleflooble]@EchoElephant I know that feeling only too well 😞 My ex lied to me and cheated for a year and is now engaged to the OW and having a baby. Brings me some small comfort to know that I will eventually find someone so much better who will actually make me happy but it's still galling as hell!

Had my second date with Mr Metal today! Had a lovely brunch and a walk, chatted for hours until he had to leave for work and neither of us wanted it to end 😆

I was super nervous about him going in for a kiss because I really wanted to but he's quite shy and I didn't want to do anything he was uncomfortable with. I was also worried that there wouldn't be that 'chemistry' but I'm happy to report that he went in for a kiss when we parted..and it was great! Little bit restrained as it was the middle of the day and there were people around but the chemistry is definitely there.

I'm so excited! Also really nervous that my eagerness and verbal diarrhoea might fuck it up 😂[/quote]
@troobleflooble as a fellow verbal diarrhea sufferer I feel your pain. But it sounds like a pretty perfect second date 🙂

Dropdeadfred2 · 08/08/2021 23:16

@BelladiMamma I know... so strange...i wouldn't have cared if he had said he was chatting to other people too... but to just put phone down and has now ignored a message and not picked up my call. His loss i guess but i feel deflated

Original poster
BelladiMamma · 08/08/2021 23:19

@Onesmallstep67

bella I used to say something along the lines that I had begun to make a connection with someone else so I was going to focus on that. Then wish them good luck.
Yes that's also a good one because it's proper closure for them I think?
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Original poster
BelladiMamma · 08/08/2021 23:20

[quote Dropdeadfred2]@BelladiMamma I know... so strange...i wouldn't have cared if he had said he was chatting to other people too... but to just put phone down and has now ignored a message and not picked up my call. His loss i guess but i feel deflated[/quote]
Rude! He probably feels embarrassed but still ...

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Dropdeadfred2 · 08/08/2021 23:22

I'm pretty certain he will just disappear now... my mission is to get another date for wednesday now!!

Original poster
BelladiMamma · 08/08/2021 23:27

@Dropdeadfred2

I'm pretty certain he will just disappear now... my mission is to get another date for wednesday now!!
💪🏿💪🏿💪🏿
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Original poster
BelladiMamma · 09/08/2021 00:02

@EchoElephant

In other news, Mr Sport has finally replied and we are meeting for coffee tomorrow. I will see if he's just looking for friendship or something more.

And today I discovered that someone who lied, cheated & ghosted me 18mths ago, is now getting married again!
How do people like that seem to find new partners so easily but I've spent 6yrs being single?

Because they're usually liars and world class manipulators
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Original poster
BelladiMamma · 09/08/2021 00:08

I've had kids of messages from BeardFlake today and it's been interesting rereading them now, whilst I am not so desperate to hear from him. He talked a lot about his depression, I exchanged with sharing some of my stuff, he opens some more. Then just wants to sympathise with me and ignore what he's going through. Then seems much more open when he thinks I'm feeling sad. Seems almost pleased that I might be sad too.

These depressives are a nightmare. They're so tender and draw you in and then bring you down with them

MrIrish is way more positive and flirty. Still getting some flake vibes from him, I think it's because he's such a romantic I'm always slightly wary ... they can build things up then it all disappears in a puff of smoke.

Anyway. At least I've had lots of virtual kisses and flirting from both of them, even BeardFlake bless him. I've told him I still fancy him but I'm emotionally detaching and it's down to him now. It's liberating telling people the truth and not doing games.

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