Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021

999 replies

BelladiMamma · 06/08/2021 08:33

I've put a screenshot of the RULES here

Dear newbies and oldies they're excellent words of wisdom and deserve to be read frequently

Here's to all of us navigating the sea of twats, the tsunami of penpals and the ever receding tide of ghosters

Let's kick them into touch and have a summer of love ❤️

Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021
OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
Original poster
BelladiMamma · 08/08/2021 18:09

Well I've got a date in the diary with MrIrish but he's gone much quieter since then. Well it's been all of an hour but he hasn't expressed any excitement ... taking bets now for another flake off ...

OP posts:
SpringlikeBunk · 08/08/2021 18:10

@BelladiMamma

Very good observation there - it kind of comes back to the whole "unnaturalness" of meeting people on apps?

If we just saw them at 9 every day or 7.30pm every Wednesday there'd be no dilemma about "who sent the last message" etc.

Isitreallyme177 · 08/08/2021 18:26

Oh my god this is so me and Mr Cricket (he hasn't held my hand yet). But it rings so true with me (although I don't think he is seeing someone else) but it's nice to see it's happening to other people not just us in this thread.

Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021
Original poster
BelladiMamma · 08/08/2021 18:28

@Isitreallyme177

Oh my god this is so me and Mr Cricket (he hasn't held my hand yet). But it rings so true with me (although I don't think he is seeing someone else) but it's nice to see it's happening to other people not just us in this thread.
Would love to see the advice that letter writer received!!
OP posts:
Onesmallstep67 · 08/08/2021 18:42

@Isitreallyme177, has Mr Cricket given you any signals recently that he might have changed his mind about wanting a relationship or being ready for one ? I guess it depends whether you feel happy for the moment to go with the flow and see how things are between you in the coming weeks. From what you share on here you’re becoming emotionally invested in someone who it would seem isn’t ready to offer you anything- apart from friendship. You seem lovely and after Mr Computer Geek messing with your head I’d hate for Mr Cricket to do the same. You deserve a relationship with someone who is ready and able to give you time and commitment. 💕

Isitreallyme177 · 08/08/2021 18:43

Here is their reply (thanks waitrose for my free digital subscription🤣).

Isitreallyme177 · 08/08/2021 18:46

@BelladiMamma Well it wouldn't let me upload the screenshots but this was their final bit

Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021
Original poster
BelladiMamma · 08/08/2021 18:50

[quote Isitreallyme177]@BelladiMamma Well it wouldn't let me upload the screenshots but this was their final bit[/quote]
Quite right! Move on and get some more dates in. Good advice for all of us! Xx

OP posts:
Techgirldating · 08/08/2021 19:09

@EchoElephant

Can I ask for some advice, wise people? Mr Sport - two years ago we had a couple of dates. Got on really well. It was like meeting up with an old friend. But there was something missing. I thought it, he said it when I asked about meeting a third time.

Three weeks ago he got back in touch. Two years ago, he'd wanted to try something but wasn't sure. It happened to be something I know a lot about.
When he got back in touch it was to tell me that he'd finally been able to try it and wanted to thank me for my help and encouragement.

He tracked me down through my business, so he went to a fair amount of trouble to find me. We chatted a bit about what he'd done and he had some more questions. But I thought that would be it.

But he carried on messaging. Not a lot. Just the odd question followed by some general chat.
So I decided to ask if he wants to meet for a coffee. He said yes but he'd let me know when he'd sorted his plans for next week.

That was two days ago and I haven't heard from him since. So now I'm thinking he's done a runner and wasn't really interested in meeting again.

Any thoughts?

@EchoElephant I’ve been meaning to ask is Mr Piano, the Mr Piano the cute geeky guy? If so it looks like all this time on we’re both still looking for the impossible unicorn
ItsNotLoveActually · 08/08/2021 19:12

Thanks bella and misty.

Certainly a lot of flakes around at the moment. I even feel a bit flaky myself and I'm sure MrBE thinks I am!

ActonSquirrel · 08/08/2021 19:21

[quote Isitreallyme177]@ActonSquirrel it's difficult isn't it. I know if I messaged about cricket (England were playing today) he'd answer but I'd just be doing that to get a message from him. I want him to message me first or at least reply to my last message.[/quote]
Mine goes through phases of messaging me first and doing it for ages. He is quiet at the moment and I'm bored of it.

I want to feel, like you, that my presence is actually desired.

I didn't reply to his last message though but it was when I asked him why he was quiet 🤷🏼‍♀️

Isitreallyme177 · 08/08/2021 19:31

@Onesmallstep67 thank you for your kind words. ❤
Maybe I misread his sympathy as something more. To me you don't check in on someone whilst you are on holiday unless you care about them (not even out of politeness) and he did (and during cricket). As I say everything was fine until last week. I had a rubbish July (was also what would have been my 7th wedding anniversary in July) so maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there and seeing problems that aren't problems. I'm normally one for seeing how things go and was fine up with everything until last week so maybe when life gets back to normal I'll get back to normal.

EchoElephant · 08/08/2021 19:51

@Techgirldating Mr Piano, cute & geeky? Not sure if I'd describe him like that. But I might have done when we first met. That was about a year ago.

Either way, I'm definitely looking for that elusive unicorn.

EchoElephant · 08/08/2021 19:53

In other news, Mr Sport has finally replied and we are meeting for coffee tomorrow.
I will see if he's just looking for friendship or something more.

And today I discovered that someone who lied, cheated & ghosted me 18mths ago, is now getting married again!
How do people like that seem to find new partners so easily but I've spent 6yrs being single?

Iamclearlyamug · 08/08/2021 19:55

I’m not very good at online dating am I 😂😂😂🤷‍♀️

Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021
VanGoghsDog · 08/08/2021 20:04

@Isitreallyme177

Oh my god this is so me and Mr Cricket (he hasn't held my hand yet). But it rings so true with me (although I don't think he is seeing someone else) but it's nice to see it's happening to other people not just us in this thread.
But didn't MrCricket officially friend zone you?
EchoElephant · 08/08/2021 20:04

Iamclearlyamug I like it! Sounds like something I would say.
I'm not very good at this dating stuff either

Misty9 · 08/08/2021 20:05

@Iamclearlyamug

I’m not very good at online dating am I 😂😂😂🤷‍♀️
Hilarious! Bit of a strange question for him to ask mind. (he looks alright..!)
Original poster
BelladiMamma · 08/08/2021 20:06

@Iamclearlyamug

I’m not very good at online dating am I 😂😂😂🤷‍♀️
😂😂😂
OP posts:
Original poster
BelladiMamma · 08/08/2021 20:09

@VanGoghsDog @Isitreallyme177 this is so true re friend zoning. If I've friend zoned someone I expect them to remember that and be aware of their own mixed feelings. I can also friend zone someone and still fancy them, it just means I know it wouldn't be a serious thing. Do be careful with your feelings @Isitreallyme77

OP posts:
Iamclearlyamug · 08/08/2021 20:10

He’s still talking so I can’t have put him off yet - not that I care, he’s got very exacting standards to meet 🤦‍♂️😂

Isitreallyme177 · 08/08/2021 20:39

To be honest it probably doesn't matter how I feel about Mr Cricket because it looks like he has done the slow fade on me anyway. Oh well best to not dwell on it as they say.

Walkingalot · 08/08/2021 21:04

@Iamclearlyamug - Dave looks a bit of alright! Wink

MrBE was online 1/2 hr ago and still no response. Hmm If he sends a 'good night' msg, shall I either - a) ignore b) just say good night c) ignore and continue to do so - let him slow fade away unless he actually responds to my opening up to him with prompt or d) actually challenge him on why he made no comment? I absolutely hate game playing and it's not like we've not been down this road before.
(((big sigh)))

VanGoghsDog · 08/08/2021 21:11

[quote Walkingalot]@Iamclearlyamug - Dave looks a bit of alright! Wink

MrBE was online 1/2 hr ago and still no response. Hmm If he sends a 'good night' msg, shall I either - a) ignore b) just say good night c) ignore and continue to do so - let him slow fade away unless he actually responds to my opening up to him with prompt or d) actually challenge him on why he made no comment? I absolutely hate game playing and it's not like we've not been down this road before.
(((big sigh)))[/quote]
I think once you're trying to make those decisions you need to mentally detach.

He doesn't sound as if he's into you for a relationship, more just an occasional hook up?

troobleflooble · 08/08/2021 21:19

@EchoElephant I know that feeling only too well 😞 My ex lied to me and cheated for a year and is now engaged to the OW and having a baby. Brings me some small comfort to know that I will eventually find someone so much better who will actually make me happy but it's still galling as hell!

Had my second date with Mr Metal today! Had a lovely brunch and a walk, chatted for hours until he had to leave for work and neither of us wanted it to end 😆

I was super nervous about him going in for a kiss because I really wanted to but he's quite shy and I didn't want to do anything he was uncomfortable with. I was also worried that there wouldn't be that 'chemistry' but I'm happy to report that he went in for a kiss when we parted..and it was great! Little bit restrained as it was the middle of the day and there were people around but the chemistry is definitely there.

I'm so excited! Also really nervous that my eagerness and verbal diarrhoea might fuck it up 😂

Swipe left for the next trending thread