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Original poster

Bizarre Evening!

176 replies

JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 21:39

Hi all,

I'm feeling a bit baffled and wanted to sound off to someone about this!

I have been dating someone, very new, saw him last yesterday.

I was on my way to his this evening, asked and confirmed by him and I told him when I set off. Called when I arrived and he said he'd nipped to the shop and would be a few minutes. Normal phone call, everything fine. So I wait... and wait... and check my phone and he has blocked me from WhatsApp! So I call him, nothing.

What has happened here?! I know nobody can tell me. It was a 30 minute drive each way, so 1 hour in the car.

Obviously it's done which is a shame but it is what it is.

Has this happened to anyone else?!

OP posts:
robotcollision · 02/08/2021 08:42

@SprayedWithDettol

It’s a game. He has enjoyed knowing you made the effort to drive over and then had to drive back. He is a grade A bastard.
I think this. He enjoys the power surge of trying to hurt women.

Don't give him another thought.

Lovemusic33 · 02/08/2021 09:12

Best not to even think about it or it will just annoy you even more. Just look at it as a lucky escape as he’s obviously not a nice person.

When I was 18 I drove miles to see a guy I had met the week previously (met him in a pub as we didn’t have OLD in those days), was texting back and forth before I left, stoped half way and text him, he said he was looking forward to seeing me. Got to his town and messaged him asking for directions to his flat……no reply…..hung around for half an hour trying to call and text but no answer so decided to drive home (over an hour), got home and I got a message saying that he went for a run came home and nodded off 😬. So he obviously wasn’t that excited about seeing me. Bumped into him a few weeks later in a night club and he got really abusive with me because I wouldn’t give him a 2nd chance, thought he was going to punch me. I’m so pleased I didn’t go to his flat alone that night and that he fell asleep or I think I could have ended up in danger.

You’ve had a lucky escape, draw a line under it and try not to over think it. It’s his loss not yours.

OrchestraOfWankery · 02/08/2021 09:15

@BrozTito

And im so sick of these weasel men playing the MH card and plastering it all over social media thinking it excuses them being vermin
Yes! OP don't tell any new guys you work in MH - it gives some the green light to be an arse, as they think you'll forgive them anything and be so very understanding that they can't help themselves from being a dickwad........
Original poster
JenuineGelly · 02/08/2021 09:22

Thanks all, I'll reply properly after.

I have read why men like bitches.

I just find the whole dating thing so contradictory. On one hand I should be myself and the other I should play hard to get etc. As I said earlier, the last person I was seeing ended things because i was too feisty/fiery. I went to his because he had been working all day whereas I hadn't and he lives alone, whereas I don't. I really dont pander to everyone I meet and jump how high they tell me to. I am very independent etc but simply wanted to see him, so I did (or tried to!)

And I'm not interested in being liked etc. Previously I have done the going bonkers and explaining exactly what they've done and what a twat they are but it achieves nothing. It would just provide him with a reason/excuse, he'd think well considering her behaviour I did right to block her so I didn't have to deal with this etc, I knew she'd go mad, that's why I did what I did. I didnt want to make him feel better about what he'd done.

OP posts:
thelastgoldeneagle · 02/08/2021 09:40

What a cock he is. You've dodged a bullet there.

happinessischocolate · 02/08/2021 09:43

But you should always be yourself, not playing hard to get or any other bollox. If you want to sleep with them on the first date do so, if you want to wait until the 10th date that's fine too. If they're not interested because you slept with them too soon or were too much hard work, then it's not because you behaved wrong it's because they're not the right person for you.

For me the bitch book was about don't be so nice and raise your standards of what acceptable behaviour from a bloke. Not what the author said was acceptable, but what I deem to be acceptable, the author just explained why being nice is seen as being a pushover.

happinessischocolate · 02/08/2021 09:47

You did absolutely nothing wrong with this guy, anyone who hides in his flat and blocks you whilst you were outside is not someone you want a relationship with no matter what possible reason caused his bizarre behaviour.

Cocopogo · 02/08/2021 09:52

Haha sorry no interesting update! DP isn’t in Manchester, and when asked him about his strange behaviour he just said he was tired, not buying it but have nothing else to go off! Anyway, I won’t derail OP thread! Lots of good advice

AngelaChasesBestLife · 02/08/2021 10:10

A very similar thing happened to a friend recently. They'd been chatting, booked a table in a pub for first date, all confirmed day of the date. He texted her to say he was on his way. She texted him to say she might be five or ten minutes late because of the tube she was on. He told her not to worry he was well on his way so he'd hold their table. When she arrived, five minutes or so late, he'd never turned up at all to the pub and on checking her phone he'd blocked her on everything. All in the space of ten minutes practically.

Yes it's inexplicable, and no rational explanation for someone behaving like that but honestly some men are just cruel and get off on these power games. They are just c

mam0918 · 02/08/2021 10:35

My last Ex before DH did this.

It was my birthday, I left from his house to go home for the day and was coming back tomorrow everything was great and had a lovely morning together and he told me how much he loved me dropped me off at the train station and made plans to pick me up tomorrow.

While I was at home he phoned to confirm when my train got back and randomly proposed but it obviously seemed very 'spur of the moment' so I said if he still wanted to marry me he could ask again when I got there and I would answer in person (and if he didnt ask again then no pressure either - frankly it seemed VERY early to propose we had only been together 4 or so months).

I got there (travelled from Leeds to Newcastle so not a short distance) and he didnt show up to meet me, he wasnt at home, wouldn't answer phone... I litrally NEVER ever saw or heard from him again.

Quickest 'will you marry me' to complete vanishing ever lol but I met DH a month later so worked out OK.

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 02/08/2021 12:04

Bloody hell, there are a lot of stories about shitty men on this thread.

I was with someone for around 4 years, lived with him etc. One night he just ghosted me. He drove off from our house and disappeared into thin air. I'm lucky that it didn't get anywhere near that far with this new guy!

Thanks happiness, I totally agree. As you said, it doesn't matter when you sleep with someone, how you act etc, as long as you stay true to yourself it doesn't matter. I do tend to just do what feels right in that moment.

OP posts:
Queenie6655 · 02/08/2021 12:05

My god these stories are shocking

You are so much better off free and single and away from shits like this

There are some decent ones out there at least

Never settle for this shit

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 02/08/2021 12:14

I just really wish I didn't want children! I don't want them anywhere near yet, but I do want children, hence why I really want to find someone. I'm not putting that across to men can I just say Grin

Im generally quite laid back. I just dont ever seem to meet anyone decent.

I really do have bad luck!

OP posts:
Umberellatheweatha · 02/08/2021 12:29

From my exp, they've been on another date and it's 'worked out'. You were a back up incase the other one wouldn't put out.

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 02/08/2021 13:02

Potentially, its just the phone call that's odd as he couldn't have spoken in his flat without someone hearing.

I just dont get why he didn't message, even when I was outside. "Sorry can't meet you" and then blocked me. It was the lack of anything.

OP posts:
NewlyGranny · 02/08/2021 13:22

I suspect OLD makes everyone feel they're browsing in a supermarket. 😏

happinessischocolate · 02/08/2021 13:35

I just really wish I didn't want children! I don't want them anywhere near yet, but I do want children, hence why I really want to find someone. I'm not putting that across to men can I just say

😁

You're mid twenties, don't worry you have plenty of time, I had my first at 34, second at 36. Once you meet the right person it doesn't take long for the settle down and have kids to kick in. People only tend to wait ages if they meet very young or if they're not right for each other.

Enjoy your twenties, I spent my 20s stressing that I wouldnt be able to have kids, then got pregnant within weeks of coming off the pill, so please just enjoy yourself.

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 02/08/2021 14:34

Newly - think people do get the sweet shop mentality!

Thanks happiness, I know you're right. I always think, if someone could say that I'd have a child and be happy in 20 years etc then I'd have no worries. It's the unknown and the "what if"! It's not something I think about all the time though, just having a moan Grin

OP posts:
Umberellatheweatha · 02/08/2021 14:40

But why should the what if determine your life? I dont even think about children, if it happens it happens. I mean I'd like to win the lottery one day but if that doesnt happen, I'm hoping my life has still been perfectly happy without it.

I'd literally just put the whole kid thing out of mind. It's not relevant. And it might lead you to tolerate more shit than you should from the wrong sorts. Instead if worrying that you might not have kids, concentrate on making your life happy in the here and now, always.

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 02/08/2021 14:51

Umbrella - it is true! I am generally a laid back person, que sera sera, but this is the one area I struggle with! I am happy in my life but this just niggles away at me. Its not something I think about even daily so not a massive issue! I always say, we all have something Grin

OP posts:
2bazookas · 02/08/2021 15:17

His other woman turned up/he double booked her and you.

Lucky you found out who he is.

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 02/08/2021 17:11

Still feeling baffled but feeling better today. I have a lovely evening planned so will just focus on that.

I know that I shouldn't try to understand him and analyse his behaviour but understanding is how I make sense of things in order to accept them and move on.

"Men", eh!

OP posts:
happinessischocolate · 02/08/2021 17:24

The fact that we've all come up with completely different possible reasons for his behaviour and yet not one of those reasons is in anyway acceptable behaviour tells you all you need to know.

You'll never know what really happened because he will never tell you. Due to the fact that he blocked you so quick on the dating app too would make me assume that it's not a one off, he's done it before and will probably do it again.

Vallmo47 · 02/08/2021 17:30

What a loser, you are well rid OP.

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 02/08/2021 17:34

Happiness - that's very true. If he said he'd met someone else or gave another reason/excuse that would be completely fine, my mind is just going into overdrive wondering why. He didn't owe me anything really as we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend but I was owed some respect.

I do feel a bit shit! I know I shouldn't give him that much brain power but I cant help feeling that way!

It just seems that every time something like this happens I get less trusting, more pessimistic etc and I don't want that as when the right person comes along I want to be open!

OP posts: