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Original poster

Bizarre Evening!

176 replies

JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 21:39

Hi all,

I'm feeling a bit baffled and wanted to sound off to someone about this!

I have been dating someone, very new, saw him last yesterday.

I was on my way to his this evening, asked and confirmed by him and I told him when I set off. Called when I arrived and he said he'd nipped to the shop and would be a few minutes. Normal phone call, everything fine. So I wait... and wait... and check my phone and he has blocked me from WhatsApp! So I call him, nothing.

What has happened here?! I know nobody can tell me. It was a 30 minute drive each way, so 1 hour in the car.

Obviously it's done which is a shame but it is what it is.

Has this happened to anyone else?!

OP posts:
CatOfTheLand · 01/08/2021 23:14

Had you had sex with him already? If not, I'm guessing it's some sort of sexual hang up/issue if you were supposed to be staying over. And he just got overwhelmed, freaked out and panicked.

I used to know someone with a smaller than average (according to him, I never saw it) penis who used to treat women in a similar matter because he was scared of rejection. He'd walk out on dates, ghost them, stand them up etc when it came to the 'sex date'.

Summerfun54321 · 01/08/2021 23:14

OP when you finally meet your soulmate, you will look back and laugh at this one. What a total lunatic to block you when you’re stood outside his house waiting to go in!!!

Whysolong7 · 01/08/2021 23:15

Sounds like he could have had a date before that was slow to leave? Trying to find out if you’d left yet (how long he had to get someone else out) then trying to buy some time saying he was out at the shop but wouldn’t be long - then realised he wasn’t going to be able to stop the two of you crossing paths so just backed out of the whole thing and blocked you.

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 23:16

Thanks, I genuinely mean it, apart from one friend I havent told anyone IRL as I'm so embarrassed, so I'm glad I've been able to speak to you all here.

I havent blocked him, when I was outside his and I knew he'd disappeared in a quick strop I deleted his number, all the messages, his contact, his contact from the recycle bin etc so I'm unable to block him as I don't have his number.
100% I will never reply if he ever messages me. I have been in situations before where I have tried to "save" men (I work in MH so feel responsible) and that is something I'll never go back to.

I wonder when I'll meet someone nice! I'm mid to late 20s, I've had one serious relationship, lived with him etc. He was a massive nob. Since him I've dated, seen people, had short term boyfriends etc, but nothing ever seems to work out. I've had plenty of therapy after the abusive ex. I still have therapy now in fact. I have my own life, a good job, a very time consuming hobby, im very independent. I want someone who adds to my life, I want to add to theirs. I dont know where I keep going wrong or what i see in these damaged men!

OP posts:
EnglishScot · 01/08/2021 23:17

So glad you’re not going to be sucked back in by him. He is hoping you tbink ‘aww poor guy, at least he got in touch’ when really all he is doing is throwing his fishing line back out there with a way of contacting you again when he wants to play his game again.

It really is absolutely shocking how men (and I suppose women too) treat each other in the modern dating world. Just awful awful behaviour that could damage someone’s mental health really hugely.

I only OLD for around 6 months but one thing I found very common was arranging dates and then they would call off very last minute. Obviously either asking out a few and choosing a favourite nearer the time to actually go out with or just a complete power trip having that control over someone then letting them down last minute. Scary that these men just have so much access to this on the dating apps.

Staffy1 · 01/08/2021 23:19

@CatOfTheLand

Had you had sex with him already? If not, I'm guessing it's some sort of sexual hang up/issue if you were supposed to be staying over. And he just got overwhelmed, freaked out and panicked.

I used to know someone with a smaller than average (according to him, I never saw it) penis who used to treat women in a similar matter because he was scared of rejection. He'd walk out on dates, ghost them, stand them up etc when it came to the 'sex date'.

I wonder if that’s it. Maybe one last message OP: “I completely understand, it can be difficult when you are hung up about your small willy”.
EnglishScot · 01/08/2021 23:20

I will say I met an honestly lovely man in that time - just so decent and thoughtful and couldn’t do enough for me but not in a red flag sort of way. I fucked it up and it would never have worked out but they ARE out there.

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 23:25

We'd had sex yes, so definitely not a sex issue.

Thats interesting Why, could potentially have been something like that as there was only one way in/out the complex.

Thanks Summer, I cant wait for that day! Thankfully I am already seeing the funny side, you couldn't write this shit Grin

My personal opinion is that he probably has some oddities at best and mental health issues at worst. I think he realised he didn't want to see me but he was a coward and didn't know how to tell me so he took the easy option. I dont know at what point he realised that. I just can't see why, we were very laid back, we'd had sex but there was no pressure to do so tonight, just a laid back walk, a drink at a pub and then to his to chat. On Friday night we stayed up until almost 5 am talking and kissing! He invited me over Saturday night and I said no.

OP posts:
Novelusername · 01/08/2021 23:26

You sound too nice. I thought he might have had another date in his room too and didn't want you to cross paths.

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 23:28

Unfortunately, his willy was lovely Staffy, probably the main reason I'm so bothered Grin

Im sorry it didn't work out English. I too met someone lovely last year (he lived in the same apartment complex as this new guy!!) but it just didn't work out, we didn't match. I have lovely male family members and colleagues so know there are nice men out there. I'll carry on swiping tomorrow!

OP posts:
Original poster
JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 23:30

Nove - the last person I dated ended things because I was too "fiesty" so seems I can't win either way Grin

The only thing that makes me think that isn't true was the phone call in which he said he was at the shop etc. His apartment isn't big enough to have had that conversation without someone there hearing.

OP posts:
Novelusername · 01/08/2021 23:30

Anyway, you don't need to know why, it doesn't matter, he's behaved like an immature asshole and you just need to move on. Disappointing, but it's nothing really to do with you so just leave him to it, you don't need that in your life.

EnglishScot · 01/08/2021 23:32

I think you’re right and that it was nothing more complicated than him just not wanting to for whatever reason and taking the cowards way out. Men are simple creatures as we know!

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 23:36

Nove - you're spot on, it really doesn't matter. Tomorrow I'll stop analysing everything. The way I deal with things is to get the answer and to understand, but I won't get that here so I need to forget it, which I will. Tomorrow!

OP posts:
Cocopogo · 01/08/2021 23:38

It wasn’t my bf was it? I turned up at his flat unexpectedly and he was acting shifty!

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 23:38

English - definitely. The most obvious explanation is usually the right one. Other options give him excuses when really I think he's just a bit of a twat.

OP posts:
Original poster
JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 23:39

I hope not @Cocopogo ! What are his initials?

OP posts:
NewlyGranny · 01/08/2021 23:40

I reckon it was a power trip, testing to see how far you'd drive and how long you'd wait!

You've dodged a bullet, but it's not nice, is it? It's a shame you can't block him, but if he ever clicks his fingers for you to come running again, you'll at least be able to block him then.

NewlyGranny · 01/08/2021 23:42

And OP? Don't waste time speculating about his motives. There's nothing to be learned or gained that way, just time and emotional energy to be wasted.

Concentrate on your own feelings and well-being. That will be a much better use of your time!

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 23:44

Unlucky for him, I did not wait very long at all!

Absolutely, if that ever happens I will block him instantly, could and would never to back there.

OP posts:
Cocopogo · 01/08/2021 23:46

OP mine is SD (quite apt!) but perhaps this jerk of yours has given you a false name to go with his fake personality.

Original poster
JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 23:47

Thanks Newly, that's exactly what I'll be doing tomorrow. I thought I'd give myself tonight to mope and try to understand and then tomorrow that is that.

In a way, im glad it happened to me. I know im on here but mentally etc I am fine, I know it wasn't me/my fault and anything I did/didn't do. A few years ago I'd have felt very differently and been very upset. I'm glad it didn't happen to someone who may have been in a bad place.

OP posts:
Original poster
JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 23:49

@Cocopogo
First name is S! But second name is F. I am in the North West. Seems like just a coincidence Grin

OP posts:
Cocopogo · 01/08/2021 23:52

I’m in north west too so def a great coincidence!!

TheSkatesOfCoachBombay · 01/08/2021 23:53

Could be worse OP at least nobody saw you get left hanging.

One bloke I met on online dating, 3rd date, stood me up in a restaurant 🤦🏻‍♀️ he text me saying he was on his way, then I waited and waited. Then I text back are you close I'm sat at the table...he then blocked me!

Well I'd booked childcare and wasn't going to waste it, had a lovely meal and a bottle of wine to myself with nobody bothering me. 🤣 Waiter was a right flirt so I was amused anyways.

I'm in my early 30's, have a career my own home a young child, hobbies friends and you know what. I gave up on it all. I realised I was better on my own than pandering to others. I now 2 years on rather enjoy being single.