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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bizarre Evening!

176 replies

JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 21:39

Hi all,

I'm feeling a bit baffled and wanted to sound off to someone about this!

I have been dating someone, very new, saw him last yesterday.

I was on my way to his this evening, asked and confirmed by him and I told him when I set off. Called when I arrived and he said he'd nipped to the shop and would be a few minutes. Normal phone call, everything fine. So I wait... and wait... and check my phone and he has blocked me from WhatsApp! So I call him, nothing.

What has happened here?! I know nobody can tell me. It was a 30 minute drive each way, so 1 hour in the car.

Obviously it's done which is a shame but it is what it is.

Has this happened to anyone else?!

OP posts:
Itsbeen84yearss · 01/08/2021 22:39

I did the whole dating app scene 5 years back. I just didn’t drive or travel to any of them ever. Only went out for dinner or drinks locally. If they weren’t interested enough to come to me and do a bit of wining and dining they were no loss. Weeded out a lot of time wasters. Old fashioned probably but effective. Met my husband to be after about a year but had a few nice boyfriends in the meantime.

JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 22:41

Im definitely going to try that. I live in a town and him a big city so I preferred travelling to him but do see that allowed him to make no effort. I think that's the main thing that has bothered me.

OP posts:
onemorerose · 01/08/2021 22:42

Twat. I’ve had similar but from a person I was meeting for the first time. It blindsided me for a minute, such weird behaviour! Sorry this happened to you

Queenie6655 · 01/08/2021 22:43

@SprayedWithDettol

It’s a game. He has enjoyed knowing you made the effort to drive over and then had to drive back. He is a grade A bastard.
This sadly

What a loser

Lucky escape for you xxx

JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 22:43

I am feeling a bit sad. I fucking hate dating but really want to meet someone.

OP posts:
FenceSplinters · 01/08/2021 22:45

It’s really odd behaviour. You’re better off without this one.

5togo · 01/08/2021 22:45

Still weird.

It sounds like he wanted to back out but was too scared to tell you then did it in the most cowardly way possible.

dryasaboner · 01/08/2021 22:45

He just wants his mum?
Sounds like he may be on drugs tbf

EatAllDay · 01/08/2021 22:52

Sounds like maybe he’s been hurt before or suffers from anxiety. Maybe he had a bit of a panic attack or has no experience with women

Chin up honey you did nothing wrong

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 01/08/2021 22:54

What a fucking muppet. Bullet dodged OP but that would really hurt. Hope you're okay x

LaserPointer · 01/08/2021 22:55

Yep. Total game. His last message is to try to hook you in to keep you textinghim. Meanwhile he gets to tell his mates he’s met a psycho online who keeps texting him, won’t take no for an answer and who came over to his house unexpectedly and he had to pretend he was out. Utter wanker. Do not give him another second of your time.

MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig · 01/08/2021 22:55

Sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet either way. A prick or a mummy’s boy. Both very unappealing.

BorderlineHappy · 01/08/2021 22:56

Block him he's just going to mess you around.

Itsbeen84yearss · 01/08/2021 22:57

@JenuineGelly

I am feeling a bit sad. I fucking hate dating but really want to meet someone.
Most of us don’t get away without some dating humiliation in life. Don’t be sad. You’ll just appreciate the right person more when you meet them. I’ve pmd you something I found very helpful when I was dating
beigebrownblue · 01/08/2021 23:01

I thought the done thing with dating, for men and women was as follows?

Arrange to meet, having arranged a 'get out clause' if it is not going well.

i.e being urgently called away...

Whilst this is not a preferred outcome, I guess it is nowadays what the majority of people do?

beigebrownblue · 01/08/2021 23:04

Dating full of pitfalls.

I once dated someone with online dating and they paid for my starter in a restaurant.

Whereupon they promptly assumed I was up for a shag.

Starter cost 6.50

No words for that. Needless to say I didn't stay for the mains.

EssentialHummus · 01/08/2021 23:05

I’d be writing a Gumtree ad with his name and phone number advertising free puppies or something. Piece of shit.

JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 23:06

Thanks all, just to clarify I'm not texting him and I won't be texting him either.

I think he wanted to back out too and didn't know how to do it, just so bizarre that he himself asked to see me and then we had the phone call. I've never given him any reason to think id act anyway other than reasonably! I genuinely would have said no worries!

I've been hurt badly before but would never, ever treat someone this way. I'll be okay, just hope he doesn't do this to someone else who may be feeling more fragile.

OP posts:
happinessischocolate · 01/08/2021 23:07

Have you blocked him now?

He's playing the sympathy card and will be wanting to keep you hanging on in case he changes his mind.

Novelusername · 01/08/2021 23:08

Tell him to fuck off.

saffronfreezing · 01/08/2021 23:08

You've dodged a bullet in the long run but that is breathtakingly rude.

toocold54 · 01/08/2021 23:08

What a weirdo!
The only blessing is that he’s shown his true colours before you got serious! I don’t think he’s even playing a game with you I just think he’s slightly unhinged and very self-absorbed.
He will be back in touch with you as he seems the type, so just make sure you don’t get tempted to meet up with him again.

JenuineGelly · 01/08/2021 23:09

Beige - a get out clause would have been fine, being blocked with no warning while I was sat outside waiting him to come back from the shop is not. I dread to think how long I would have waited if I hadn't have checked WhatsApp!

Thank you 84yearss, I'll check the PM.

OP posts:
UniversalAunt · 01/08/2021 23:09

Phew, you dodged a bullet there.

Staffy1 · 01/08/2021 23:14

Doesn’t sound like he just wanted a way out and didn’t know how to tell you. He invited you over and strung you along to the last minute then blocked you. Total arsehole playing a nasty game. Please don’t respond to any further messages, in fact block him on everything so he can’t contact you again.