Please help me make sense.. best friend of 28 years turned on me and now not speaking

[Metabigot]

I went out to a pub (garden) with a friend I've known since teenage years the weekend before last. I got talking to some people at another table who had passed us by and been friendly , to cut a long story short they then came over to our table to get my friend to come and join them (I didn't ask them to as i knew she wasn't in the mood for befriending new people due to covid ) and she rudely told them to f off - yes she's covid-paranoid but could have said it in a nicer way... anyway one of them then came back and said wtf is wrong with her she needs to get a fing life and I was pretty mortified and didn't intervene... I was quite embarrassed by her rudeness and didn't think that merited me jumping to her side.

She then called me over a few minutes later said she was annoyed at me and some insulting words before flouncing off. I asked her the next day what I had done to upset her and I wasn't happy with how she'd been to me but let's either discuss it or forget it and move on.

She then texted (refused to talk) saying she was appalled that I'd 'sat there slagging her off with a bunch of strangers' and whenever I tried to give my view, she said I was lying and unless I accepted it was all my fault then I was choosing to end the friendship.

We've never fallen out before in 28 years. It's like a different person has taken over her body. Every time I tried to say my version of events she said I was lying and trying to argue with her and blame her. I feel I'm being emotionally blackmailed into taking responsiblity for a situation of her making, whilst she can swear at everyone and get off scot free.

I would leave it at that but we've been friends forever and this is a real shock to me. To say I am devastated is an understatement. How can she just change like this and blame me for everything. She literally said 'it's all your fault and you can't accept what you've done so I can't be friends any more in case you do it again.'

I haven't spoken to her since the text discussion/argument last week and suggested a time-out but where the hell do I go from here?

There are some ridiculous comments here, and quite a few posters making things up to justify having a go.

OP, you have recognised what you did wrong and apologised. There's not really much else you can do. It's shit when a long term friend seems to change into an entirely different person and doesn't want to talk about what's going on. Dropping you after 28 years is upsetting and it's natural that you would feel hurt. Hopefully when things have calmed down she may be willing to talk to you.

@JorisBohnson2

I suspect your friendship was on a knife edge. Well as far as she was concerned anyway. This incident at the pub was kinda the last straw ? Were you unwittingly on one last chance from her ?

If the friendship was that good, you would not have had to grovel your apology just for her to be as angry as she ever was with you. No one is denying her feelings.

She felt insecure if she thought you were slagging her off to the others in the pub. Is that a bit of projection from her ? That might be something of a clue as to where your friendship was.

Friendships/relationships can end in similar ways.

It's 'interesting' that you both remark on the length of your friendship.

Anyway, my over riding problem would be with how she (the departing friend) spoke to me. You can feel, 'how dare you speak to me like that' regardless of the length of the friendship.

Why did OP go and speak to a group of people when she was in the pub with her friend anyway ? That would have annoyed me, too.

I really do think the virus has changed the way some people regard socialising, and if they were already of an anxious disposition it can make a crisis out of a situation that would once have been considered normal.

You really think this is just all down to someone making a crisis out of nothing because they’re of an anxious disposition?

@Clymene

Wow that's quite the take *@KormasABitch*

You really should take up creative writing.

This, it’s not at all aligned with what the op posted. It’s like a totally different story.

@Bluntness100
Well, that's what I think of your version too!

So this is a creative writing / comprehension skills test. OP can award us marks out of 10! 😂

You very cleverly omitted the part that said you left your friend to go to this other table. You just mentioned chatting to them as they passed by. Knowing your friends worries regarding the whole Covid issue, I believe you were very selfish. Apart from leaving her alone at the table, why was it not you who invited your friend over? No, you are in the wrong here and although your friend was swearing and rude, it came from anxiety and you never recognised this. So if you want to move forward, tell her you recognise what you could have done better and how sorry you are.

Ok let me get this right! She (we’ll call her Tracy) went to the pub with a mate (Sharon), Tracy then started chatting to a group of people leaving Sharon on her own. While Tracy was with these other people (strangers) one of them went over to Sharon to ask them to join them…..right so far? So Sharon told them to eff off (bit rude granted could’ve just said no). Now Tracy has got her arse in her hands cos Sharon pissed off with her for blatantly skanking her and pissing off with a bunch of randoms! Sorry Tracy but if I was Sharon i would have shit through your letterbox not just sent you a raft of texts! You’re a shit mate Tracy sos hun!

Your story has just popped up on my Facebook feed @JorisBohnson2

The comments there are pretty much the same as you're getting here!